Out Dallas wedding guru Ricardo Tomás help you take your solemn wows
SCOTT HUFFMAN | Contributing Writer
Scott_in_dallas@yahoo.com
If one were to compare a wedding day to a hurricane, Ricardo Tomás would surely be considered the storm’s calm eye. For nearly 15 years, the out wedding planner has helped local couples, including those in the Dallas LGBT community, design and execute their dream weddings. So far, Tomás seems no worse for the wear.
“I would say my strongest attribute is patience,” Tomás says. “I have a lot of patience. If you think about having to deal with families every month for 14 years, it’s a lot. It takes a certain character to be able to handle [stress], especially on the actual wedding day. Stress levels are really high.”
Tomás, who holds a degree in architectural design, explored the idea of becoming a wedding planner while working as an interior designer. When he and a friend enrolled in a weeklong wedding course, Tomás immediately felt intimidated. He was the only male in a group of twenty-some women. Yet Tomás quickly learned that wedding planning complemented his existing skill set.
“Having a design background helped me with the wedding side,” Tomás, who has branded himself a wedding architect, says. “I’m still designing and putting elements together … textures, fabrics, colors, lighting … everything you would do for a house. [But with] a wedding, you throw in the element of emotion. It’s the final piece of the puzzle that completes the wedding for me.”
Why use a planner?
While there are many advantages to using a wedding planner’s services, Tomás feels the most important is the peace of mind it affords a couple throughout the process. Planners are experienced in selecting vendors, negotiating contracts and handling myriad details most first-timers may not have even considered. Planners can also make the most of a couple’s wedding budget by sourcing the best values, sometimes by leveraging existing vendor relationships. On the day of a wedding, a planner will manage the venue and vendors and handle any unexpected issues that arise, all of which frees the couple and their guests to enjoy the event.
“They need to be focused on getting married,” Tomás says of his soon-to-be-married clients. “They need to have a happy day. They need to be in their own zone. They don’t need distractions to divert them to negative space. They need positive energy the whole day.”
Personalizing the big day
At the beginning of every job, Tomás asks an engaged couple a number of probing questions in order to gain insight into their lifestyles. Do they enjoy travel? What are their pastimes? Do they collect things? As he gathers these details, Tomás begins forming ideas about ways in which he can customize the couple’s wedding to match their personalities.
“I try to pull elements that will make their wedding unique to them and stand out,” Tomás says. “[From a protocol standpoint,] every wedding to me is pretty much standard. But I want people to walk away from your wedding saying, ‘Wow! That was definitely their wedding! It could have been no one else’s wedding.’ Personalization is the big thing.”
Gay weddings
A longstanding stereotype is that little girls dream of one day becoming brides, while men don’t. From an early age, they are thought to collect items for their hope chests and clip magazine pictures to create wedding mood boards. One might imagine, therefore, that working with two brides in a lesbian wedding would be twice the challenge.
Tomás, however, finds the opposite. In his experience, working with two grooms can be unexpectedly detailed and time-consuming. In fact, Tomás recently spent over a year helping one local gay couple plan their wedding.
“When you think of a [traditional] bride and a groom, usually the bride wants bountiful flowers and a big dress,” Tomás says. “The groom sits back and says, ‘Tell me when to show up, and I’ll be there.’ When you have two males, they both have opinions. They usually [split responsibilities]. One will handle entertainment. One will handle the décor side. My male weddings are very, very detailed … even over my lesbian couples.”
Wedding day mishaps
No matter how meticulously-planned a wedding might be, unexpected situations often arise. Zippers break. Buttons burst. Brides forget garters. For these reasons, Tomás carries an emergency bag to every wedding filled with necessities like sewing needles, thread, and, yes, even spare garters.
“Right before the garter toss, I’ve had the maid of honor or someone from the wedding party run to me and say, ‘Ricardo, the bride forgot her garter!’ Tomás says. “I have extra garters. I unzip the bag, take out the garter, and hand it to her. She says, ‘Oh my god, you just saved this wedding!’ For the smallest things, I become the hero.”
The payoff
At the end of a wedding day, the best compliment a newly-married couple can give Tomás is that their guests say it was a wedding to remember. Family and friends notice when a wedding day seemingly runs smoothly. And such comments reassure Tomás that his efforts to create a truly memorable event were not in vain.
“I remember a grandmother saying to me, ‘Thank you so much for making my granddaughter’s wedding the best ever. I can see she’s having the most beautiful time,’” Thomas says. “When I hear that, I know I’m in the right career.”
For more information, visit ricardotomas.com.
