Frank Page


Frank Page, the president and chief executive of the Southern Baptist Convention’s executive committee, has resigned because he had a “morally inappropriate relationship.”
But wait. Didn’t we recently learn from the national arbiter of morality, the Rev. Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Church, that having an affair while your wife is pregnant is OK as long as you support things like the 10 — oops, I mean nine — commandments.
OK, so I’m confused.
So I went to some of the good Christians in my office for clarification. Why is it OK for Trump to boink a porn star but Page’s indiscretion wasn’t so OK?
Office ethicist and Dallas Voice editor Tammye Nash said the difference may have to do with the gender of the boinkee.
Not entirely satisfied with that answer, I called the Rev. Neil Cazares-Thomas, who — for some sad reason — actually understands the convoluted logic and was able to explain the difference between the Trump-porn star fling and the Page-God-Knows-Who horrific occurrence. And I said understands, not agrees with.
Trump had his affair before he was elected to office, Cazares-Thomas explained. Once anointed president, he became a changed man and has stood up for moral principles. You know, things like starve the hungry and prevent the transgender from peeing.
Page, on the other hand, used his office to attract his consort.
So how will they explain away when someone reveals having had sex with Trump while in office, I asked the good reverend. He said he’d have to hear the equivocation, but he was sure there would be be one and he would be happy to ’splain it to me once he heard it.
There’s no word on who Page’s dalliance was with, but Dallas Voice social media expert and investigative reporter Steven Mobley is busily searching Grindr to see if he can find a suspicious profile.

— David Taffet