Trump’s makeup-bad was before the sweat (Matt Rourke Associated Press)

Donald Trump’s not-so-firm foundation

I have always admired the talent and expertise evident in the art of drag. From the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to the performers in the United Court of the Lone Star Empire, their dedication to spinning an illusion is admirable, especially in the makeup department. Their ability to transform themselves with paint and powder is often magical.

That brings me to possibly the worst makeup on the public stage right now: the “Face of Donald Trump.”

If that sounds like a horror movie, it most certainly is one.

It is no secret that, for years, Donald Trump has been using some kind of concealer (the makeup artist’s term for makeup). Research by The Washington Post based on statements from a number of undocumented immigrants who worked at Mar-a-Lago found that he kept containers of orange-hued concealer in his bedroom at all times.

But recent photos show that he apparently has run out of his favorite sunset tint and so has moved to a disturbing color best described as “Mr. Hanky Brown.” In one photo that is currently circulating on social media, Trump’s profuse sweating has melted the base and it is running down his cheeks like Rudy Giuliani’s hair dye.

You’d think someone who is, allegedly, so rich would have a makeup specialist tending to his appearance for important televised events. But the obvious lines around Trump’s scalp show that his foundation was applied with the finesse of a finger-painting toddler. Most likely, it is a sign of his vanity that he won’t allow anyone to professionally paint his face, fearing backlash from his “deplorables.”

And then there is his hair. His comb-over is so bad it looks like an ill-fitting toupee. (Some folks claim it is a wig, but there is no confirmation of that from inside sources.)

The sheer amount of hair spray needed to support the cantilevered coif must be a major source of ozone depletion.

This all brings me to the question: If drag queens can create a convincing illusion of femininity, why can’t an aging media personality create an appearance of health?

I know he is hiding a disturbing pallor under all that paint, but at least he could seek professional advice on how to do it. One look at the un-retouched photo after his campaign rally in Iowa on Jan. 15, and social media went wild — even including some Republicans. The obvious lines around his scalp give the appearance of a mask.

My suspicion is that perhaps The Donald actually has a makeup artist on his payroll — only that person is gay, and is actually doing their best to make this homophobic pretender to the presidency look as bad as possible. If that is so, to that brave person I say, “Thank you for your service.”

Hardy Haberman is a longtime local LGBT activist and board chair for the Woodhull Freedom Foundation. His blog is at