Where I started, below, and where I ended up, above.

I’m sick of coming in second, especially for charity.

As we blogged about three weeks ago, Team Dallas Voice was first runner-up in a wind-power competition pitting journo-against-journo for a $2,500 cash donation to our favorite charity. Instead, we won $250 for Ranch Hand Rescue. (We fell to Colleen Coyle of Channel 8.) I was the star player on my team, of course — i.e., the only one capable of building a $0.15 pinwheel without adult supervision.*

So when I was invited to go solo for another journalist-only benefit competition — this time, $1,000 being donated in my name by Kroger to the North Texas Food Bank and Tarrant Area Food Bank — I relished the opportunity. Plus I didn’t have to go outside as with the wind game … always a plus.

This time, my creativity skills were being put to the test when I faced off against five other journalists at cake decorating. We each had 30 minutes, with the assistance of a Kroger bakery staffer, to turn pasty into a work of art. With the help of La Tricia, I set about it.

Decorating a cake is pretty hard. La Tricia made sure all my pastry bags were filled with butter cream frosting of various colors, and she showed me techniques (apply constant pressure! But not too much!) and walked me through. Being a gay pub, we settled on a rainbow theme, made variously of fruits, jelly beans and frosting.

You can tell I did most of the work myself. I have the penmanship of a serial killer, as Clairee might say, but I also hard heart — and a strong pitch. “You get three points for your presentation,” said Francie Cooper, one of the judges. I thought about a bribe too, but there were cameras on me.

In the end, I placed second after Jana from the Dallas Morning News — another Belo victory! I got no money donated in my name. Instead, I got to keep the cake. I’m feeding the working poor with it, i.e., my colleagues here at Dallas Voice. Ah, well, no reason why you can’t donate to the food banks — they need it. Summer is the hungriest time for kids. Why? Because school is out, so no access to hot lunches unless mom makes it. C’mon, give some money or drop off some cans. Kids should play in the summer, not worry about food.

*That’s pretty much all he did. — Teammates