You don’t have a costume idea yet for Halloween, aka ‘Gay Christmas’?. We’ve got you covered
EMOJIS AND MORE | Hot costume ideas this year include Twisty from ‘American Horror Story,’ ‘Anaconda’ video send-ups, and group costumes like emojis. Just don’t go as an Ebola patient …. too soon (though going as the virus itself is a thought).
CHAKA CUMBERBATCH | Contributing Writer
chakacumberbatch@gmail.com
Normal people have nightmares about showing up to school or work naked. I have nightmares about waking up on Halloween without a costume. Yes, really. In my mind, turning up to a masqueraded function without a costume would be a fate worse than death, winter weather and student loans, in that order.
I’m kidding. Mostly. As a card-carrying member of the “closet full of costumes and nothing to wear” club, there is rarely a moment where I find myself without a wig within arm’s reach — and I’m not even a drag queen. But if you’re not the type of person who obsessively hoards rhinestones and e6000, you might be at a loss as to what to transform yourself into on this upcoming All Hallow’s Eve — or even at the Block Party along Cedar Springs on Saturday night.
This is where I come in. My main thrill in life is a makeover. It gives me a sense of control in a world full of chaos. So with that in mind, here are a few quick, easy and pop culture relevant costumes you can throw together in time for the spookiest night of the year … along with some local resources to help you track down all the ingredients for a perfect outfit.
“Anaconda” video references. Oh. My. God. Is there anything more relevant right now than that “Anaconda” video? It was like, Miley who? Nicki Minaj twerked her way to the top of the charts with an earth quaking anthem that paid homage to both Sir Mix-a-Lot and the refined art of booty shaking. If you don’t quite have the, um, assets to pull off one of Nicki’s well-rounded (pun intended) looks from the video, a cleverly executed reference (much like the one seen at New York Comic Con 2014, pictured), might just do the trick.
Ebola patient. I kid. Y’all, this is a public service announcement: please don’t pretend to have Ebola for Halloween. We’re in North Texas, the timing is completely off and you’d probably immediately get hauled off by a truck full of guys wearing hazmat suits. Which would be terrible, unless you’re into that kind of thing. I just felt the need to acknowledge this, because otherwise someone will inevitably make a poor attempt at an Ebola joke this Halloween, and the CDC will get involved and the whole thing will get blown out of proportion just like it did when that guy joked about having Ebola on a plane. Trust me: This is not the way to end up on Buzzfeed. Dressing as Ebola itself, on the other hand. …
Emojis. It’s like I woke up this morning and suddenly everyone decided to be emojis for Halloween. It’s almost a movement. Honestly, I’m not sure whether to be annoyed that so many people are doing it, or irritated I didn’t think of it first. So far, one of my favorite iterations of the emoji trend involved all black pants and shirts, with the bright yellow emoji faces painted onto foamboard and worn as masks. It was very … interpretive mime group meets iOS 8. Emoji costumes are the new Tetris costumes — I’m calling it right now.
#ThrowbackThursday. So I’m actually stealing this from a guy I work with who did this for our office Halloween party last year, because it was completely brilliant. Combine acid washed jeans, Nike tennis shoes, a D.A.R.E. T-shirt with a cassette player and a can of your discontinued soda of choice (my favorite is Sprite Remix). Shake, stir, then pour on ice: instant ‘90s throwback. Bonus points for making a cardboard Instagram frame with the hashtag painted on … and double bonus points for carrying the damn thing around all night.
Twisty the Clown from American Horror Story: Freak Show. If you’re a fan of Ryan Murphy’s twisted spookseries, you’ve no doubt been terrified this season by Twisty, the killer clown who makes Pennywise and The Joker look like entertainment in a children’s hospital. The genius of the costume, should you choose to try it, is that is just requires a “normal” clown costume made to look filthy and covered in blood, plus a mask on the lower portion of the face that resembles a barracuda’s smile. Do this one only if you are comfortable scaring the life out of everyone.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition October 24, 2014.
