If you’re like, well, everybody else on the planet, you sat transfixed at the spastic goat rodeo of white trash intrigue that is Tiger King on Netflix. Weird, compelling, true… but at only seven hours of content, you could easily polish it off in a day — maybe two evenings if you’ve been busy. But with shelter-in-place rules of various kinds extending through the end of the month, how else can you occupy all that free time?
Well, you could just watch every episode of House Hunters.
Yup. If you binge-watched every episode of the long-running property program, constantly and without ads, it would take up 33.5 days of your time… well into May. But what if we are still on quarantine after that? Well, there are a lot of other options.
For instance, you could pad your time by bingeing all 673 episodes of The Simpsons; at 22 minutes each on average, that would take you more than 10 days to finish off. (Add in The Simpsons Movie to pad it another 88 minutes.)
If you really think we are in this for the long haul, though, you could binge-watch all 883 episodes of Saturday Night Live, laughing your way through about 40 days of sketch comedy — about as long as Noah was in the ark.
You could round out at about two full weeks watching every episode of Law & Order, and stretch that to a full month if you followed it up with Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (more than 900 episodes between them). On the other hand, you could polish off every season of Will & Grace over the course of a long weekend.
So when anyone in your household says, “What can we do? There’s nothing on,” show them this post.
— Arnold Wayne Jones
