5 steps to coming to terms with baldness
Male pattern baldness for a young gay man can be tough to come to terms with, but rest assured that your hair is only one aspect of your overall appearance and personal style. Instead of obsessing over that which you lack — and which, frankly, you have little control over — concentrate on the total package you present. When your shoulders are held high because of boosted self-esteem from other outward factors, people will notice (even the haters!) – without thinking twice about your sitch up top. To make the move to a more confident you, consider these tips on how to accept (and love!) your balding head.
Assess the situation. If you notice your hair thinning and that prospect is a source of anxiety for you — I’ve been there myself — assess the situation rationally and consult a professional. It’s important that you’re comfortable enough and have a decent rapport with your barber or stylist that they’ll tell you the hard truth.
My stylist downplayed my thinning for a long time out of fear of hurting my feelings. That didn’t help the situation, and I lost valuable time in trying to halt the process. That’s how I wanted to approach the issue (with a Minoxidil regimen) but that was a personal choice and certainly not an endorsement for the temporary remedy. This is a do-you situation and only you can decide how to make the best of it.
Stop lying to yourself. I was in denial about my male pattern baldness for several years because I didn’t want to accept that my youth had expired. As a result, I grew more self-conscious every time I looked in the mirror. I knew I had to deal with it at some point, even though the acceptance process dragged on. I wasn’t alone in this battle, however, and neither are you. Look in the mirror and really look at yourself and accept the situation. Then you can proceed smartly.
Ask your significant other and friends their opinions. When trying to figure out how to handle my own situation, I turned to my boyfriend and my friends for what I should do. While the final decision wasn’t up to them ultimately, I wanted to hear from my male buddies on how they were approaching or had approached their own balding, and I wanted to gauge my boyfriend’s response to buzzing my hair so the thinning wasn’t as noticeable at the source. These consultations helped me come to terms with my situation and make a proactive move regarding my hair that would eventually eradicate my anxiety.
Work with what you’ve got. Now that you’ve accepted what plenty of men continue to deny, you can start to disguise your problem area properly. This doesn’t mean spraying on fake infomercial hair-in-a-can or carpeting your head with a toupee or comb-over. This is dressing your hair to its strengths and avoiding products that will exacerbate the issue. Don’t use “high shine” hair products, like pomade or gel, for instance. The shine will draw attention away from the hair and accentuate your scalp. Instead, use clay or matte products that give a natural look. This will style your follicles effectively and help keep the focus on the hair you still have. Ask your (now well-informed) stylist what products will work best in your case.
Hold your head high. Hair is important to a lot of guys, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. But remember that your hair is only one part of you, and not even the best part. Don’t hide behind hats. There’s nothing sexier than a man who owns himself and his appearance, which translates naturally to virility and masculinity.
— Mikey Rox
