The Rev. Stephen Sprinkle
Cross-posted from Unfinished Lives
HOUSTON — Asher Brown’s uncle told a big gathering of mourners and family supporters on Saturday, Oct. 2 that school bullies “ripped him up and tore him down everyday.”
A crowd of hundreds blanketed a Houston park beside Moore Elementary School to express grief over the death by bullying of 13-year-old gay boy, Asher Brown.
Bright balloons floated in the air as the line of friends patiently waited to sign the memorial book and get a chance to speak to David and Amy Truong, Asher’s parents. His uncle, a Christian minister, MC’ed the memorial service.
”The bullies picked on my nephew because of the way he dressed, how he talked, and the fact he was small. He was a David among Goliaths,” Rev. Truong told the large crowd. ”But Asher’s heart was so big! His heart made him a giant.”
Asher’s school friends, the few who stood by him no matter what, were present and spoke. One of them said there was a “Bully Free Zone” sign at Hamilton Middle School where Asher faced torment every day for being different, for being gay, and for being vulnerable. His friend said that the sign meant nothing. Nothing was done by anyone to protect Asher, himself, or any other target of ridicule at Hamilton. The Truongs had repeatedly tried to get school officials to help their son, but the school basically ignored their calls and emails.
Initially, a spokesperson for the school district denied that any appeals had come to the school about Asher and the severe bullying he was facing there. Now the Cy-Fair Independent School District is acknowledging that “some communication” concerning Asher did indeed come from his parents.
The gay teen shot himself in his Dad’s closet on Sept. 23 after bullying became unendurable for him. When David Truong, Asher’s Dad, found Asher lying on the floor of his closet, he thought at first that his son had fallen asleep reading a book–and then he saw the blood.
Referring to Asher’s six friends who spoke at the outdoor memorial service, David Truong said, “These kids are the true heroes of this whole thing. They are speaking out, and we need to support them.”
Houston City Councilwoman Jolanda Jones told the crowd that she and Mayor Annise Parker are taking this senseless killing in Houston as a “call to action” for passage of a zero tolerance anti-bullying law that will be named “Asher’s Rule” as a fitting memorial to a good boy who just wanted to live his life–though bullies wouldn’t let him.
Many supporters from the LGBTQ community came to show their support for safe schools for all children, and to support Asher’s family.
Asher’s uncle declared that “gay and straight alike are perfect in God’s sight. God doesn’t make any mistakes.” What happened to his nephew was not going to be dismissed as simply a “gay issue.”
”This is a hate issue, and we are not going to rest until all children are safe from hate at school,” he said.
For more photos of the Asher Brown Memorial Service, click here.
Stephen V. Sprinkle is director of field education and supervised ministry, and sssociate professor of practical theology at Brite Divinity School in Fort Worth.
This is really sad. I go to school with Asher and he never said anything about being gay. I’m 13 to and don’t really know if I’m gay or not, I really don’t like girls but don’t like boys either. Hamilton is a good school but the bullies are real bad here. Asher told me that he had autism or something like that. He acted very weird sometimes so I think he was. I miss him and had him in 2 of my classes, it’s really sad to see his empty desk he was always at school.
Schools have a duty to protect students from harm — including the physical and emotional harm that results from bullying. If the school breached that duty and, as a result, students continued to harass Asher the school may have acted negligently and may have placed Asher in harm’s way. Now, we find out that the school did have information from Asher’s parents about the bullying. The question is what did they know and how did the administration respond to what it knew? If the school failed to act reasonably and within the standard of care in the field of education administration and student supervision it may have placed Asher in harm’s way and actually allowed the bullying to continue. This bullying lead to the ultimate physical harm — his untimely death. Parents — when you know that your child is the victim of bullies call the principal and explain what’s happening. Talk with the principal about what you can do together to end the bullying and make a record of what the principal says. Send a thank-you note to the principal and a copy to the superintendent to further document what she will do. If things don’t change move up the chain of command to the superintendent and board of education if necessary. You can hold the school accountable to implement its policy and if it doesn’t and your daughter is injured by bullying, the school may be held liable.
Edward F. Dragan’s book “The Bully Action Guide: How to Help Your Child and How to Get the School to Listen” is being published in April 2011. To reserve a copy contact the author at edragan@edmgt.com.
while i’m very pleased to read the comment from jolanda jones that she and houston’s mayor are upset about asher’s death, there is nothing from the public record that i can find showing annise parker has opened her mouth about the death. have i missed her statement deploring his death, offering sympathy to his family, making plans to challenge bullies? check this out:
https://mpetrelis.blogspot.com/2010/10/houston-lez-mayor-parker-silence-on.html
When I read that something like this happened, where a beautiful child looked at his life and felt like he had no other choice but to take his life because he was tired of being punished for being who he was it makes me so mad! I honestly want to go to the school and confront the other teens that bullied him and ask them how they feel to know that they contributed to someone feeling like they had no one to turn to, and that he wasn’t good enough to just simply get and education and be happy. I come from a big family, I have 7 brothers and sisters and 29 nieces and nephews, and I going to make sure that they all know not to make anyone feel bad for being different or having a voice and also to make sure they aren’t being bullied by anyone. When I was in school I would take up for anyone that was being bullied and look out for them, I really wish someone was looking out for Asher.
My heart breaks for Asher and what he went through. It really bothers me that he felt he had no where to turn for help. I think about him everyday and can’t get him out of my mind. I have 4 grandchildren and speak with them about school everyday. I speak with them about being bullied and about bullying others. I wish everyone did this everyday. One thing that really bothers me is that I read that Asher was pushed down two flights of stairs the day before his death. Why was he sent to school alone the day he took his life? What happened to him that day that he felt he could not take anymore? I’m sorry I had to ask. I really and truly cannot get Asher’s face out of my head.
@hamilton student: my heart goes out to you. don’t let the bullies get to you. i know that is easier said than done but you are so important. the world is better with people like you, and people like asher, in it. if you ever need a little encouragement, check out this link:
https://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject
hang in there, my friend.
I just couldn’t hold back tears while reading this article. This poor young man was so scared and depressed over this entire bullying situation and felt he had no where to turn, so he took his own life. I can only imagine how many other gay and lesbian youths are experiencing similar trauma in their lives and WE ALL need to take action on this, no matter what and with whatever we can do. May God Bless Asher Brown;s spirit and his soul.
These times make us recognize that we cannot make progress until we punish these bigots. Help us do that. Help us take this fight into the streets, churches and homes of bigots. We should be having a big rally in Houston, but we need your help. Please donate now before more children die: http://www.getequal.org
We are leading the way. Please help us attack those that are attacking us. It is the only way to win and we are professionals. We know how to do this. We just need your financial support. Give now. Give like you are serious, WE are.
Bullying is deplorable no matter who it comes from including commenter MPetrelis.
Bullying is deplorable, especially when people like Mayor Annise Parker do nothing to stop it or choose not to speak out against it. To stay silent in a situation like this is to become an accomplice in the cruelty of others. The officials at Asher’s school were silent about the bullying that he experienced and just look at what happened.
Furthermore, to suggest that a public officials should be held accountable for their actions, or lack thereof, is not bullying because they are supposed to be accountable for their actions! If public officials don’t want to be held accountable for their actions they should pick a different job, end of story. Everyone must take responsibility for their actions if anything is going to get better for the other kids who are bullied everyday for simply being themselves. Oh, and trolling is bullying, btw. I, for one, am grateful that MPetrelis posted that link.
“DISSENT is the highest form of patriotism” – Thomas Jefferson (emphasis added)
Rest In Peace, Asher. I never knew you but I am still sad that you are gone.
To MPetrelis, Mayor Parker has no jurisdiction over Cypress whatsoever, so for her not to comment is actually not that surprising.
He got exactly wat he deserved, Im 19 & i really hate these in ur face gays like him. Ughhhh
It’s been over a year now or better since this needless tragedy and i still feel the pain for this boy Asher. I guess since then, the bullies have moved on. Pleased with themselves that they rid the world of another ‘gay’ it! This is not me speaking, this is my thoughts on what they probably think and feel everytime they strike out at someone different.
This makes me sick to my stomach the attitudes that prevail still in 2012. Yeah right! Happy New Year alright. The hate continues as per the above comment from an ugly individual Cody Slavych. By the name it suggest alot and i won’t go into that because it would make me sound judgemental as well and i do not want to be a sick creep like him. He is having his own sexual identity issues as this wouldn’t bother him at all if he was more secure with himself . For him to strike out and say the ugly thing he said suggest he is having gay tendencies as well. Maybe someone in his family will die a brutal death and see if he thinks they got what they deserved. Asher was a human being and a better person than alot of you average joes who think you are so high and mighty . Well your day is coming and you too will fall flat on your face. One day you might be out driving in your car and have a horrific accident and you have driven into a raven and face certain death as the water rises in your vehicle. You just might think of the ugly things you said then and only wish that a gay person stopped to help your sorry pathetic self out!!!!!! Asher will never be forgotten. When i get another cat, i have vowed to name him Asher Brown in his memory. His picture is on my fridge and i say morning to him very often. R.I.P. young man.