Karma chameleon: This diva can take it as good as she gives
Hey, y’all. It’s me, Cassie Nova, superstar of the Rose Room and all around badass! I’m here every other week to answer some of life’s most difficult questions.
Just kidding. I’m really here to talk a little B.S. and entertain. So once again, this disclaimer: What is said here is all in good fun. If you take this seriously, it could cause hemorrhoids.
Apparently, I have a potty mouth. Cursing has been such a part of my vernacular for so long that I don’t even realize how much I do it, bitches … that is, until I get around children or church people. I’m not ashamed of it. It is part of my charm, my wit. There is nothing like a well-placed F-bomb or the satisfaction of screaming “Dammit!!” at the top of your lungs. I’ve heard it said that people who cuss a lot don’t have the intelligence to properly express themselves, so I guess I am comfortably a moron.
Here is my first question:
Dearest Cassie Nova, You say some pretty awful things to people while you are on stage. Do you believe in karma? Sincerely, Judy.
Well Judy, first … Ouch! But the answer is: Hell, yes! When I walk into a room and people stop talking, I know I probably deserve it. Don’t dish with others if you can’t take it when others dish about you.
When I was a kid, I spent my summers at my grandma’s house in Mineola, Texas. She would take us to Lake Holbrook. One day, while at the beach area, I saw this little boy wading through the water. He was hunched over running around in circles, splashing around like a crazy person. I looked at my sister and said, “Look at that poor retarded boy!” Not exactly politically correct, but that is how we talked in the ’80s.
Anyway, about an hour later, I was standing in the shallow water. I looked down and saw a little fish swimming in the water. I thought to myself, “I’m gonna get that fish!” So I started chasing it around, hunched over, running around in circles and splashing like a crazy person.
Suddenly, I hear a woman on shore say, “Look at that poor retarded boy!” She was talking about me, of course. My face cracked and shattered, and in my head I heard Grandma say, “What goes around, comes around.” So yes, I believe in karma, Judy. Thanks for the reminder.
Question No. 2!
Dearest Cassie Nova, Drag is becoming more and more popular in today’s culture. New girls appear out and about every week. I was wondering if you had any tips for all new and upcoming queens to help make sure everyone looks their best? With love, Whitney Rains.
Hello Whitney! The best advice I could give is to do everything yourself. Don’t rely on anyone else doing your makeup or hair — you learn faster by trial and error. Practice, and ask the other “girls” questions. Most drag queens love to share the things they have learned. Remember, with drag, more is always better. Thanks!
Dearest Cassie Nova, As someone who has raised oodles of money for charities and been in the business a while, I wanted you to weigh in on the “tranny” word feud that’s going on. We have trans friends and many of us have referred to ourselves as trannies-in-training and such, but never out of hate. The “You Got SheMail” controversy on RuPaul’s Drag Race has us all talking. What’s your opinion on this topic? Are “tranny” and “she-male” old-school and out of fashion, or are they just terms of endearment? Thanks, Tony Valdez.
Tony, Lately people get so upset about everything. It’s exhausting trying to be so politically correct. I am not a transgender person, so I cannot begin to know what my trans sisters find offensive. I also cannot tell them how they should feel. But at the same time, they are just words, and I do not give words power. If the tone is offensive, be offended! Otherwise, try to remember it’s just a word. Then again, what do I know … I’m just a drag queen.
This week in drag gossip, I give a big shout-out to Edna Jean Robinson. While in San Antonio last week, she had her first “session” with a “papi.” Someone is single and ready to mingle. (I ain’t mad atcha.) Also, congrats to Michael LeMasters on his recent win at Mr. Gay Texas USofA, even though he was a complete bullet to the brain in the dressing room last Saturday night. You kept the Texas crown here in Dallas! Great job.
I can’t be at all places at all times, so if you have some juicy gossip, know of someone who needs to be called out or have a question you have always wanted to ask a drag queen, send me an email!
XOXO — Cassie Nova, Superstar.
If you have a question to suggest for Ask a Drag Queen — or just have some juicy gossip to share — email it to AskCassieNova@gmail.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 27, 2014.
