How to spend your day off

Howdy my good people. You wanna know what happens on my day off that makes me so happy? Nothing! I swear tagawd, those are my all-time best days.

Sure, I love to go do stuff with friends, go to the movies or have a fabulous Sunday Funday. But biiiitch, lemme tell ya — a day where I don’t even put on pants makes me so happy.

I wake up at whatever time I want. I am one of the lucky few that rarely has to wake up with an alarm clock. Even though I never sleep past 10:30 a.m. — even if I go to bed at 8 a.m. It’s so annoying, but my dogs keep me on some form of a schedule.

I take the dogs out and get our pills ready. Three of our four dogs are on some kind of medications, and so am I. They take theirs with a piece of cheese, while I dry swallow my pills like a porn star.

I usually get on the computer for a while to answer emails, write or just scroll aimlessly. I am really bad about putting off emails until I feel like messing with them. In other words, if it ain’t time sensitive, it can wait one more day.

Then, if I have planned correctly, I have something in the fridge for lunch. I love those bagged Caesar salads, but I add feta instead of parmesan. I’m bougie like that.

I also love a good ol’ sammich. Sandwiches are the under-rated heroes of lunch. I do not do regular, boring sandwiches, I jush it up with different mustards and breads. Right now, I literally have six types of mustards in my fridge: Grey Poupon, jalapeno, brown, horseradish, Mayo-Must and regular yellow mustard. I am not a monster.

Sorry; I am hungry as I write this, and it is showing. I’m starting to sound like Bubba from Forrest Gump.

After lunch — BTW I am still in my underwear and a t-shirt — I do a load of laundry or load the dishwasher. Now I am exhausted and need to rest, so I plop down in my chair and watch TV. That is usually where I stay until the hubby gets home from work. He works for the post office so depending on how many packages and mail he has to deliver; he gets home anytime between 1 and 5 p.m.

When the dogs hear him pull into the driveway, they lose their shit. Everyone is so excited that Daddy is home, so we all go out and greet him (I’m usually still in my underwear). I check our mail and rush back inside, usually only to realize that one or more of the pups has decided to take their time and sniff every fucking blade of grass in the yard.

If I am lucky, I can trick Jamie into taking a nap. He is such a worker bee that he feels guilty if he takes a nap; he always feels like he should be doing something. If I can get him to sit down and watch something on TV for just a few minutes, he will start to nod off, and I win. I change the channel to YouTube and play soothing waves crashing against the shore. It is perfect to nap to.

When we wake up from our little nappy-poo, we usually head to the back yard for a while. Between watering plants, tending the pool and feeding and giving Ruby the tortoise attention, there are some things that have to be dealt with, even on a lazy day off.

When we come back inside, I usually start dinner. If I planned correctly, I have everything I need for a great meal. I love to cook, and I do it with my whole heart. Food is my love language, and our waistlines are proof of that.

We have certain shows that we must watch together, and, since we literally have every streaming service available, we always have something to watch. I know we watch too much TV, but part of me feels it is my job to know a little about everything. So I try to keep up on what everyone is into. If I don’t actually watch a show, I know enough about it that I can hold my own in a conversation about it. It’s all research, I tells ya.

Some days we switch it up and have a few cocktails in the pool or a bottle of wine next to the firepit. It really depends on the weather. Our short spring and fall are my favorite times — especially if it’s sweata weatha.

On my days off — or anytime I am home in the evening — we go to bed at about 11 p.m. That is the time my shows usually start on the nights I work. I think it is important that we go to bed at the same time, even if I won’t be sleepy until 1 a.m.-ish. I have a pair of Bluetooth headphones that I put on and watch even more TV. Luckily, Jamie can sleep though almost anything.

What does your lazy day off look like? I really wanna know. I sound horribly lazy in this article, but I do not care. My busy workdays can be a whirlwind of go-go-go, so when I get a day to recover from those energy-zapping jaunts, I take it and love every second of it.

But if I gotta put on pants, the whole day is ruined. Or as Stewie from Family Guy says, “It’s Ruuu-Eened!”

Enjoy your day off bitches! Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova