From peeing outside to weighted blankets — what’s on Cassie’s mind this week

Hey y’all. I have no idea what to write about this week … I am just sitting here waiting for inspiration. I am so sick of all of the usual topics: Politics, weather, the Super Bowl — meh. I usually write about whatever is going on in my life, but it’s been pretty boring lately. I do have family dealing with some major health issues, but I’m not ready to tackle that subject.

I feel like I am on the cusp of something major happening soon, so I should enjoy the boring days to the fullest.

By the way, my idea of a boring day is kind of awesome. If I can go the full day and never have to put on pants or leave the house, I consider that a win. It gives me nothing good to write about, but I take my recharging seriously.

Here is a random fact about me: I pee outside about half of the time when I am at home. My husband thinks it’s weird, but I don’t care. My backyard is pretty secluded so if I take the dogs potty, I go too. We pee as a family.

Not to mention that I havta pee so freaking much! I bought one of those huge jugs to drink water out of that has the hours of the day on the side. It is supposed to help you keep track of how much water you drink in a day. The goal is to drink the entire thing throughout the day, so you get your full 15 cups of water (15.5 cups are the recommended intake for a man).

Now, I wanna be healthy and stay hydrated, but that is too much water for me! I have to pee every 30 to 45 minutes trying to drink that much water. Then on show nights — well, do you know how hard it is to go pee once you are in drag and fully padded? It ain’t easy. Not to mention how crazy your flow can be after tucking! Some days I pull it out, and it shoots into two or three separate streams, looking like a scene from Ghostbusters. Maybe my tuckers are too tight ….

Next subject: I have made my bed too comfortable. I hear it calling to me during the day, and I fantasize about it when I am at work. Sometimes, when some rando is talking to me at the club, I zone out and go to my happy place — my bed.

Picture it: a California King-size bed, dark-painted walls that make the room feel like a cave, a window AC unit going (mostly for the chill but also for the white noise it creates) and our new king-sized, 45-pound, weighted blanket that I got for Christmas.

It has created the perfect storm of comfort.

I received a 15-20-pound, twin-sized weighted blanket a few years ago for Christmas, and I loved it — except for the fact that when you pulled it up around you, you would hear threads snap, and within a few weeks, all of the little glass beads — or sand or whatever they use to make it weighted — eventually migrate into the other segments, making the blanket wapsided.

I was constantly trying to get Jamie to try the weighted blanket, but he runs hot and feared it would be uncomfortable and overheat him. He is constantly regulating his body temperature during the night by uncovering his feet and recovering them.

I asked for a king-sized weighted blanked for Christmas and Jamie, being the wonderful husband that he is, got us the nicest one he could find. It came with a lovely cover and was 35 pounds. He actually loved it, except that it wasn’t big enough. It covered a king size bed — but just barely. It didn’t hang over the edges by very much, and that bothered the both of us.

So, he went searching and found the biggest one that he could find. It was 45 pounds and hung over the sides by a good six inches.

Jamie tosses around so much in his sleep that the dogs get annoyed with him and eventually migrate to be up against me — a true doggie pile. Since we got the new heavy-ass blanket, though, he barely moves. He seems to be sleeping better. I know I do. It’s like the blanket holds you down and hugs you the entire night.

Plus, our little Chihuahua, Toby, who has to sleep under the covers or else no one sleeps, is getting a workout. You should see him wiggle and fight to get into his spot. And Toby needs all the exercise he can get! His little no-neck-havin’ ass — he looks like that guy Ed from 90 Day Fiancé.

I am hoping that Jamie continues to love it when we get into the summer months. Whatever they use inside the blanket keeps it from retaining too much heat, so I am hopeful. Not to mention that our bedroom can feel like a walk-in freezer at times, so as long as I keep it chilly, we should be fine.

(I had no idea that this would turn into an infomercial for a weighted blanket, but here we are.)

I guess I shoulda called this another installment of Cassie Nova’s Word Vomit. From peeing to water consumption to my supabedroom — this one got weird. Sorry, not sorry. Y’all know by now how my brain wor — Oh look! Something shinny!

Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova