Cassie-Nova

Hello all. The horrible Texas heat is upon us, and if you are like me, you find reasons to hide indoors until (late) evening. I ate Spam the other day just so I wouldn’t have to go to the store during the day. I think I may be legitimately allergic to the extreme heat. I break out in bitchin’ and nap needin’. (It’s a real thing — look it up.)

About a year ago, I was contacted by a guy at the Dallas Public Library asking if I was interested in doing a drag queen story time with the kids. I’ve seen stories being done in other cities and I always thought it was a cool idea. So when the suggestion was made to me, Jenna Skyy and I jumped at the opportunity. I thought that it would be a cool thing to have on my drag resumé.

At first, I thought it would be simple: show up, read to the kids and leave. But nope. First we had to pass a background check (no big deal, I’ve never been caught breaking any laws — I hid the bodies pretty well). We had to take a class that taught us to be more interactive during story time and how never to ask a kid an open-ended question. Boy, did that part help us out.

After that meeting, I was starting to get excited about Drag Queen Storytime, and actually nervous as well.

In my life, I am rarely around kids or in places where I should watch how I speak or act. I cuss like I’m the person sailors learn to cuss from, and the harder I try not to cuss, the worse if fucking gets. (See?) I was worried that I would let an F bomb slip in front of the kids.

In the end, there was nothing to be concerned about. I set it in my mind that I was going to do a character for those kids, and I stuck to it. My character was good with children and didn’t cuss.

I loved doing the Drag Queen Storytime, which was actually called Tall Tales and High Heels. I wore a full-length, white-and-silver dress with these puffy sequined sleeves and rhinestones all over it. I looked like a mix of Glinda the Good Witch and a monster fairy princess with huge, super red hair. I think it was probably the only costume I have that is OK for children to see. Most, if not all, of my costumes are very short hooker dresses. (I like my dresses to be short so you can read my lips.)

The first storytime was at the downtown library. Those poor homeless people out front did not know what to think when Jenna and I walked by. We walked into the children’s theater there to oohs and ahhs from about 25 kids and their parents. The kids sat comfy on the floor on pillows and cushions, and we got started. I read a book called, What Color Is Your Underwear by Sam Lloyd. Each page has a different animal and it asks, “What color is Harry the horse’s underwear?” and you lift the flap to show he is wearing yellow fuzzy underwear, and the kids all laugh.

The last page asks, “What color is the elephant’s underwear?” You lift the leaf covering his backside to reveal he isn’t wearing any underwear. The crowd went nuts. I joked that they just got mooned by an elephant. There were cheers, a few “Ewww grosses” and some blushed faces — but they loved it.

One of the great things about it was that I was able to entertain not just the kids but also the parents. I took inspiration from the cartoons like Spongebob and Powerpuff Girls — absolutely made for kids but with enough adult humor to keep the parents interested. One of the other books I read was My Cat Jack by Patricia Casey. It’s about a cat that likes to stretch, and as I am encouraging the kids to stretch like a cat one kid yells at me that his cat likes to show everyone his butthole when he stretches. I about fell out! I joked with the parents that they knew what I was thinking and left it at that.

I was really surprised at just how smart those kids were. Some of them understood the concept of drag and couldn’t wait to tell me who their favorites were on RuPaul’s Drag Race. It was hot that day so Jenna and I both had big hand-held fans that we kept popping to cool off with. A few of the kids wanted us to teach them how to pop a fan like a queen.

I was told by many little girls that I looked like a princess and that they loved my dress — it made me feel special. Jenna was told by one little boy that she sounded like a boy a few times. She would just say, “About that…” and then change the subject. It was adorable.

Some of the kids were curious, some shy, others were loud and opinionated. All of them seemed to be having fun. We never brought up the subject of gender — we left that for the parents to explain — but the truth is, I don’t think the kids cared or even thought about that. One boy asked me why I was wearing the dress with the poufy sleeves. I told him I was a like a superhero and this was my uniform. It made me feel powerful. He just said, “Oh.” like it was no big deal.

I have to say that one of my favorite memories was a little boy about 7 or 8 that walked in wearing a cute red dress with white polka dots. He was not overly feminine at all; he was just a normal little boy that on this day decided to wear a dress. His two moms let him dress however he was feeling. I told him I loved his dress; he said thank you then told me he liked to wear dresses especially when it was hot, then he did a little hip shake to show me how comfortable he felt. It was the cutest thing ever.

The parents were all awesome. Gay couples, straight couples, lots of moms with toddlers, larger families with lots of kids… seriously every familial makeup you could think of in every color. It was like the most diverse group of people I have ever been around, and I was in the student U.N. in high school.

The second time I did the Storytime it was at the Dallas Museum of Art for their Pride Night. It was in their children’s theater that seats 250 people. About 15 kids sat up front on the floor, and every seat in the theater was filled and many people were standing against the walls. In other words, most of the folks there did not have kids. Lots of curious gays — many of them were fans of The Nova!

I will say that before these events, I was a little worried about protesters or churchies trying to disrupt our storytime. A week before the first event, there was a video circulating where a “preacher” interrupted a drag queen storytime in another city, yelling all kinds of crazy and mean stuff. I had some fear of that happening here; after all, we are a red state and in this unrecognizable new America we live in… anything can happen.

I am so proud to say that we were met with nothing but love. I have a better understanding of not just my community but our community. These kids and their open-minded, awesome parents made me feel hope for our future — and I have not felt that in a very long time. I’m proud of what we did and can only imagine the well-rounded, open-hearted young adults those kids will grow into. I can’t wait to do it again.

Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO! Cassie Nova