Roger Jahnel, center, with his big couple, James and Dennis Bradanese
Stop by Union Coffee on Aug 19 for more information on Big Brothers Big Sisters
DAVID TAFFET | Senior Staff Writer
taffet@dallasvoice.com
Union Coffee describes Naked Stage as a “home where we tell our stories.” Big Brothers Big Sisters Chief Program Officer Michael O’Teter said “Bigs” and “Littles” from his organization will take over the Naked Stage on Aug. 19 at 7:30 p.m. to tell their stories.
And he hopes to interest not only new youth looking for a big brother, big sister or big couple, but new volunteers, too.
If you’ve ever thought about being a big brother or big sister, O’Teter urged, come hear the stories and speak to adults and youth, mentors, mentees and parents who’ve been involved in the program, he said.
“This gives us a chance to engage with people in Oak Lawn,” he added.
His organization, O’Teter stressed, has welcomed LGBTQ “bigs” for years. BBBS becoming a Black Tie Dinner beneficiary six years ago just deepened that outreach.
BBBS interviews volunteer “bigs” and potential “littles” extensively to make a successful match between them. He highlights Roger Jahnel and his big couple, James and Dennis Bradanese, who were profiled in an August 2017 Dallas Voice article and who plan to attend the event at Union Coffee along with Roger’s mom.
O’Teter points them out as the perfect Big Couple match.
Since that Dallas Voice profile, Roger has graduated college, and this week he began law school at SMU. But even though he’s technically aged out of the program, he and James and Dennis Bradanese are still in each other’s lives — because they’ve become family.
Roger said he’ll be talking about his relationship with Dennis and James, which began when he was seven years old, at the event.
“We laughed and talked and played video games,” Roger said about his first meeting with his Bigs, remembering it as if it were yesterday. “What they did for me shaped the person I am today.”
Roger’s father passed away when he was just five, and “My mom wanted me to have positive male role models,” he said. “They’ve been there for me through so many things. They taught me to ride a bike. We went horseback riding, ice skating for the first time.”
That first time ice skating eventually turned into five or six years playing hockey. And the couple helped Roger build pinewood derby cars for racing, something Boy Scouts do with their dads.
He recalled one time when Dennis and James had theater tickets and were in the car on their way to Fort Worth. Roger’s mom called and said it was Donuts for Dads night at school and … “My mom called and they turned around,” Roger said.
Not every BBBS match develops into something as deep and close as the relationship between the Bradanses and the Jahnels. “Big Brothers Big Sisters is a commitment for a year, but Dennis and James are a part of my family now,” Roger said. “They’re a part of my life.”
While BBBS doesn’t replace a parental figure, it provides youth with “someone to rely on, someone else in your corner.”
He said he knew he could always call them if there was something he didn’t want to discuss with his mom.
O’Teter said the interview process for parents, mentors and mentees includes questions about sexual orientation, religion and other personal information — info used to make the best match, not to eliminate people from the program. LGBTQ mentors aren’t necessarily matched with LGBTQ kids; many of the youth are young and not out, but in the last year, “70 percent of youth in our programs who are out came out through the program,” O’Teter said.
When a parent doesn’t support their LGBTQ child having an LGBTQ big, O’Teter said, they try to match the youth with an ally. He said he’s seen some wonderful bigs help the parent accept their child’s orientation or gender identity.
O’Teter said the organization is child focused, meeting the child “where they’re at,” he said.
BBBS serves a lot more high school age youth than it did 10 years ago, when the average age was 10.
“We’re seeing more kids who are already out,” he said. “That’s accelerated our need to find more LGBTQ volunteers,” adding that over the last year his office has made more than 250 matches where the mentor or mentee, if not both, are LGBTQ.
O’Teter said he’s glad we’re beyond the challenges presented by COVID, but BBBS did learn some important lessons from the pandemic: “Now, a vast majority of interviews are virtual.”
He said he hopes people who’ve thought about becoming a big brother, big sister or big couple will come out to Union Coffee and chat with others who’ve benefitted from the program. He also suggested going to BBBSTx.org/lgbtq to learn more about the organization and start the application process.
