Sand and deliver in sexy swimwear that doesn’t beat the heat but outshines it

DSC_0029bLBreaking news of the obvious: It’s hot outside. If you’re tired of everybody talking about the heat, it’s time to do something about it: Get out there and show the sun who’s boss.

Of course, in the gay community, you do that by looking better than anyone else. And you do that by sporting a sexy, skin-baring swimsuit that highlights your assets while making a bold fashion statement.

This is no time to break out the board shorts that go past your knees — you might as well swim in your Levi’s. And unless you’re sunbathing on the Baltic Sea, nobody should ever see you in G-string, T-back, thong or the ever-dreaded banana hammock. There’s an art to showing off without crossing over into full-on creepy.

That’s why we’re particularly fond of Rockstar Swimwear.

Created by fashion designers Natasha Sarah and Prashant for the South Beach community in Miami, their dramatic designs have gone global thanks to benefits like flattering fit, an eye-catching color palette, and undeniable sex appeal. Some suits even come emblazoned with crystals for anyone daring enough to sport a little bling on their weenie sling.

Rockstar has also just launched some new products for August, so even though the summer may be quickly drawing to a close, it’s never too late to have the most current style by the pool, on the boat, or hanging at the beach. They’re made in the United States, too, so really it’s your patriotic duty to buy these and make America even more beautiful (and do your part to keep the economy going).

So even if you can’t play a single chord on the electric guitar and your groupies consist only of your adoring mother and her Gin Rummy partners, you still have the opportunity to feel like a rock star. Without ever setting foot in rehab.

— Steven Lindsey

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 12, 2011.