Some fantasy sleighs to make Santa jolly

DRIVE

CASEY WILLIAMS  |  Auto Reviewer
AutoCasey@AOL.com

One imagines Santa has access to some pretty fancy sleighs, being the owner of a centuries-old toy-making enterprise and all.  However, he would also have some special requirements.  Any grounded conveyance piloted by this world traveler would need to be comfortable, warm and able to dust off snowy roads.

No problem! This year he can have his choice of an exquisite SUV, sedan or sports car to keep him as jolly as his jolliest little elf.

2023 Cadillac Escalade-V

This swift sleigh will haul loads of toys toot sweet! More rapid than eagles, it flies on the wings of its hand-built, supercharged Corvette V8 engine, delivering 682 horsepower and 0-60 mph in 4.4 seconds.  Fuel economy of 11/16-MPG city/highway may limit range, but full-time, all-wheel-drive will dispense with sprinkled icing. Raise up the air suspension and ride comfortably with Magnetic Ride Control.  His round belly will barely jiggle.

The most expensive Cadillac stands apart with a black grille, quad exhausts, and 22-inch wheels. Hands-off Super Cruise allows for munching milk and cookies while only watching the road. Conjuring directions or connecting toys to the stunning 36-speaker AKG Studio Reference audio system is made easy through the 38-inch curved display.

A suite of safety tech keeps Santa safe: Automatic Emergency Braking, rearview camera mirror, blind spot warning and Safety Alert Seat (vibrates in the direction of danger).

All this will cost Santa at least $149,695.

2023 Genesis G90

After his long journey around the globe, Santa wants some time to relax and spend some time with The Mrs. He may even prefer a chauffeur that doesn’t fart reindeer dust. In past seasons, he may have preferred a Mercedes S-Class, but now he could acquire a bling Genesis instead.

It’s a sleigh full of toys accessed via digital key that links to smartphones and smartwatches. Upon entry, the Mood Curator sets ambient lighting, audio, fragrance, massage seats and electric curtains for rear seat relaxation. The 26-speaker Bang & Olufsen audio system recreates world concert venues like Boston Symphony Hall. Real timber, Nappa leather and panoramic roof further the spoiling.

It’s a chalet on wheels.

Santa’s head elf will taste sugar from the optional 3.5-liter V6 with e-Sueprcharger that conjures 409 reindeerpower. Air suspension transforms from waft to wraith with a switch, while rear wheel steering maneuvers like Rudolf after reindeer school. Even a guy who just bought heaps of gifts can afford 18/26-MPG city/highway.

Whip out the black card for prices starting at $88,400 or $98,700 in supercharged trim.

2023 Lamborghini Huracán Sterrato

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter.

It’s hard to imagine a better supercar for drifting around The North Pole.  Sure, it’s a Lamborghini stoked with a 601 horsepower 5.2-liter V10 that clicks 0-60 mph in 3.4 seconds and touches 160 mph, but all-wheel-drive and elevated ride height allow it to lay claim to the “first all-terrain sports car.”

It’s the slowest Lamborghini since the LM002 off-roader due to its multi-terrain tires, but still swift enough to knock Santa’s hat back.  MagneRide dampers and a strong lightweight chassis enhance handling.

Mrs. Clause shall clinch her apron when she inhales the features. There’s a digital inclinometer with pitch/roll indicator, aluminum front underbody protection, roof air intake to stay above sand/snow, and drive configurator with STRADA, SPORT and RALLY modes. Santa can call on Amazon Alexa to control climate and navigation while a drive recorder allows him to evaluate track day performance — including his heartrate while driving.

Santa must act fast to procure one of only 1,499 units. Pricing, not announced, will surely land north of $250,000.

Storm Forward!