Photo by sinner Jesse Arnold

About half a dozen protesters carried signs outside of Hunky’s on Saturday afternoon protesting same-sex marriage. About a dozen police officers protected them, although a number of people walked up to them to get pictures.

“They can call it whatever they want,” read one sign. “This is not a marriage.” Then there’s a reference to Genesis 2:24, which translates as, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Of course, we know that marriage hasn’t changed since biblical times.

Funny story: In the Hebrew bible, there are three ways — and only three ways — to get married. One is for a man to rape a woman. If he keeps her, they’re married. If not, it’s a disgrace to the woman’s family and the men-folk can go get their revenge and kill three generations of the rapist’s family. Two is for a man to buy a woman, since in the Bible a woman is basically property. And marriage situation number three is to inherit a woman. For instance if your brother dies, his wife becomes yours to take care of as your own. So, no, same-sex marriage isn’t Biblical marriage. That whole man and woman fall in love and the man proposes to a woman isn’t either, by the way. That is entirely an early the 20th century invention.

The protester with the big sign wore a shirt that read, “Letting Go of Biblical Truth.” Get it? LGBT. Clever protesters.

Another protester calls homosexuality “a sin of choice.” I guess that’s in contrast sins you’re forced to commit beyond without being responsible for them. Like adultery. Or any of God’s Top 10: Like remembering Shabbat and keeping it holy. Now I’m not calling their protest unholy, but it was held on a Saturday and the Hebrew word for Saturday is Shabbat. Or coveting thy neighbor’s ass or his wife, two things listed together in the biggies as No. 10. Or honoring thy parents. When you do those, apparently those are sins you didn’t choose to do. You were forced to have sex with your neighbor’s wife.

The protesters stayed about 30 minutes. As they left, partiers at JR.’s across the street began chanting, “Na na na, hey hey hey good bye!” according to sinner Jesse Arnold.

— David Taffet