VOLKSWAGEN TIGUAN. Try explaining to your kids what a Tiguan is, but this bigger crossover holds all your family carries. Stretched with available third-row seats, it can swallow up to seven for ice cream. Streamlined bodywork channels Audi, looking great at the valet stand — especially in available Habanero Orange Metallic or in sporty R-Line trim. I’d definitely choose heated seats, sunroof and crisp Fender audio system. Getting you there is a 2.0-liter turbocharged 4-cylinder engine that delivers 184 horses and 22/27-MPG (a bit less with 4Motion all-wheel-drive). Slip into the left lane and have at it! Base price: $24,595.

5 sexy vehicles for your big gay family

Since same-sex marriage and adoptions became legal, many gay couples are now toting families like a highway full of glittering Griswolds. The green wood-sided Wagon Queen Family Truckster may not be cool for fashion-forward tribes heading off on the grand American adventure, but these five vehicles definitely are. Whether you need a full-size crossover, sinister mini-van or blistering quick station wagon, one of these should stoke your engine. 

                                                                                                                           — Casey Williams

TOYOTA TACOMA. When you need something to haul and pull all of your family’s toys, this is your truck. It’s been cool since Marty McFly drove one in Back to the Future, but now it’s about as high-tech as the time-traveling DeLorean. Choose four-door Doublecab if you plan to take your tribe on adventures and load up with heated leather seats, navigation, JBL audio, and wireless phone charging. Safety is enhanced by available blind spot and rear cross path detection. Choose a 159 horsepower 4-cylinder or 278 horsepower V6 engine. Definitely choose 4×4 to get away from all your iThings for some family bonding time. Base price: $25,400.

 

SUBARU ASSENT. Subaru’s jacked up Outback is an icon of gay suburbia, but for some families, it just isn’t big enough — they need three rows of seats and room to roam. Step up to the Ascent crossover. You can see a family resemblance to the Outback and Forester. Based on Subaru’s new global architecture, Ascent runs with a 2.4-liter turbocharged Boxer engine generating 260 horsepower and standard AWD… enough to pull a small Airstream RV. X-Mode off-road mode and EyeSight crash avoidance system come standard. Connect with 4G Wi-Fi, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto. Base price: $31,995.

 

CHRYSLER PACIFICA HYBRID. One of the most beautifully-sculpted and high-tech family highway lounges goes dark for 2019 with the available S package that blacks out all trim and 18-in. alloys. It looks absolutely sinister. Black seats with gray stitching and piano black trim ghost the cabin. But under that Dark Vader skin is a green plug-in hybrid powertrain. Fully charged, the mini-van travels 33 miles on electricity before the 287 horsepower 3.6-liter V6 engine fires up. Re-charge in 2 hours on 240v and expect 84-MPGe in city driving. Pre-condition the inside from your smartphone. Keep families moving with a panoramic sunroof, twin rear seat-mounted video screens, and built-in vacuum. Base price: $41,000

 

MERCEDES-AMG E63 S WAGON. This is the last word in flagrantly sexy family cars that will make you wet with just one drive. It’s a station wagon…and the fastest car Mercedes makes. Strap the kids into their Recaros because behind that snarling facia throbs a four-liter V8 engine delivering 603 horsepower, 0-60 mph in 3 seconds and 180 mph top speed. All-wheel-drive and 9-speed transmission lay it down. An air suspension adjusts from waft to wild. Inside, luxury seeps from the twin-screen dashboard, sueded and carbon fiber trim, knurled metal knobs and Bermester audio. Massage seats provide such delightful mini vacations that you won’t mind the six-figure sticker. Base price: $106,950.