I had an annoying conversation this morning.
A publicist for a troupe we (let’s put it this way) “recently profiled” called to ask for a change online to the story: Seems like we referred in the headline to the person we interviewed as “gay.” She wanted it removed.
“I’m sorry — is that not true?” I asked.
“No, it’s true. He’s gay. He would just prefer you not mention it.”
The conversation continued like this for a long time.
Now, I’m happy to correct errors, especially ones caused by us. But this person was pitched to me as the “gay head of this troupe,” and I assigned the story accordingly. If he had not been gay … well, let’s just say the troupe was not on my radar enough such that I would have been all that interested in the story without a hook, an angle. That was his.
Part of the mission of this newspaper is to draw our readers (many of whom are straight) to what’s going on in and by the gay community. Sometimes it’s homophobes attacking us and our rights. Sometimes it’s our allies who embrace us for who we are and treat up as equals. Sometimes it’s just celebrities who have an interesting perspective on their gay fans. Sometimes it’s openly gay people who are victimized by bigots, or leaders who step up to improve the lot of the community.
But a lot of the time, it’s just ordinary gay folks doing something out in the world we think people might want to know about. A trans woman who continues to be a personal trainer. A musician who wants to save the Great American Songbook. An auto mechanic who runs a garage and offers his gay clientele a friendly environment. An actor who steals the show in a national tour of a terrible musical. A museum curator who brings his unique perspective to a major art museum. Maybe being gay doesn’t directly affect what they do too much. But maybe it does. And it’s good to have a sense of pride knowing the vast landscape of opportunities out there — and that being openly gay, bi or trans is not a hindrance to success.
So when someone who is gay — and claims to be out — asks me to hide that fact … well, it angers me. You don’t need to do an interview with me. You don’t need to discuss your sexuality if you do agree to the interview. You don’t even need to be gay for me to write about you. But don’t come to me with the pitch that our readers might be interested in reading about you and then leap back in the closet. Because there are a lot of people out there proud to be called gay. I’m one of them.
I am many things. I’m a brother, uncle, son, friend, musician, and many other things. The one thing that makes me different from many other brothers or uncles is that I’m gay. Infact, I am VERY gay! When my parents introduce me to people or reference me in a conversation they do not say, “Our gay son, Carl” and my nephew doesn’t refer to me as “Gay Uncle Carl”. Being gay does not define my entire life. It is my sexual orientation and the way I was born. It is not my title or profession or an office I hold. It is the same as the color of my skin or eyes. It is a part of me that I am proud of and have learned to accept as a gift over the years after many internal struggles. To give me the title of “Gay” almost makes my sexual orientation seem less significant or like a brand. And like they said in ‘The Best Little Whore House in Texas’…..”Brands belong on cattle…” and that ain’t what we’re selling in Oak Lawn!
Back before the redo this was instant tea, so spill.
Whosit?
I’m going to guess maybe Deerhunter