When Dallas resident David McCrory learned of the plight of a homeless gay teen in Colorado and tried to help, he discovered he could help make things better, but it wasn’t easy
David McCrory
Draconis von Trapp | Intern
intern@dallasvoice.com
One person can make a difference.
It’s been said a million times, and while some believe the old adage, some are still skeptical.
David McCrory used to be one of those skeptics.
But McCrory, a gay man who works for Dermalogica and a native New Orleanian who moved to Dallas from Los Angeles, discovered a whole new perspective after he helped a 19-year-old boy from committing suicide — from two states away.
McCrory moved to Dallas for his job and ended up participating with the Human Rights Campaign’s entry in the Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade this year for the first time. The parade featured British ex-rugby star Ben Cohen, who founded the Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation that focuses on battling bullying and homophobia in schools.
After working with Cohen, McCrory started paying attention to the StandUp Foundation’s Facebook page, and that’s where he happened upon a post about how Jamey Rodomeyer, a young gay boy, had committed suicide.
As with most celebrity Facebook updates, there are usually several hundred comments. McCrory, usually not one to bother reading those comments, decided this time to take a look at the feedback.
“I was just browsing through the comments and I noticed this post from A.J.,” McCrory said. “And I guess it was the timing, having just read about Jamey, that I felt like I needed to reach out to him.”
A.J. had commented about how he felt that his only option was to end his life, saying that he was homeless just because of his sexual orientation. He said that he didn’t want to kill himself, but he didn’t know what else to do.
The comment was left in the morning on Sept. 21. It only took 30 minutes for someone to respond to A.J.’s post, recommending that he call the Trevor Project. But it took another eight hours for someone to proactively do something about it.
McCrory, after reading and responding to A.J.’s comment, emailed Cohen’s manager, Jill Tipping, confirming that both she and Cohen had read that post and responded to A.J. with suicide hotline numbers and contact information for different organizations that could help.
Feeling that more needed to be done, McCrory added A.J. as a friend on Facebook, started emailing him with reassuring messages and exchanging phone numbers with the young man.
After feeling out A.J.’s situation a little more, McCrory discovered that the teen had been living on a park bench for two days with no food after an altercation with his father.
“I left Colorado to go to Michigan to get in touch with my family there,” A.J. explained. “That kinda went south, so I came back to live with my father and things were fine.”
But the next day his father started questioning A.J.’s orientation. While A.J. had been out to his friends, he hadn’t yet come out to his family and wasn’t sure how they would take it. While he figured they would react negatively, he said, “I didn’t expect it to go as far as it did.”
After that, AJ’s father told him to leave.
McCrory said he did contact the Trevor Project, and while they were friendly and helpful, ultimately they could do nothing for A.J. immediately.
They provided some more contact information for organizations and crisis intervention programs in A.J.’s area — and that was the end of it.
McCrory said he tried all the contacts that were given to him but had little to show for it. Most numbers led to voice mailboxes and the one immediate crisis line he contacted could only help by advising he call the police.
At this time it was starting to rain where A.J. was, and McCrory was running out of options.
Finally, using his hotel points, McCrory booked a room for A.J. at a Marriott Hotel and, after discussing A.J.’s situation with the manager, was given the room for free as well as two meal vouchers so A.J. could eat that night and the next morning.
With cab services refusing credit card numbers over the phone and the police being short staffed, McCrory’s cousin used her credit card to have a driving service fetch A.J.
The next day McCrory tried to contact the LGBT community center in Colorado, but never got through to anyone. In a moment of clarity, it occurred to him that most towns had an LGBT-friendly church, and upon researching it, he found one close by A.J.’s location.
The Metropolitan Community Church’s pastor, Weff Mullins, provided McCrory with more up-to-date, reliable resources for A.J. and welcomed the teen into the service that Sunday.
One reputable organization Pastor Mullins recommended was Inside/Out Youth Services, which McCrory contacted, finally talking to someone who was able to get the ball rolling on providing A.J. with housing, therapy and a job to help him get back on his feet.
It was the help the young man needed.
A.J. has been living for free at a hotel since then and said that he has a brighter outlook on his future — one that doesn’t include suicide.
“I’m actually much better than I was before,” he said. “I’m mostly stable now and I’m pretty good.”
A.J. and McCrory have kept in contact and often talk on the phone.
“He’s a good kid,” McCrory said. “It’s pretty amazing that we’ve gotten so close and we’ve never met. I never thought that I would be helping someone out of a crisis situation like this.”
McCrory’s company has since made a $1,000 donation to Inside/Out Youth Services, which is being matched by the Gill Foundation, along with $100 from one of McCrory’s coworkers.
They worked together to get some Wal-Mart gift cards so A.J.could buy some clothes for himself.
“Plus, being gay, you know he will need some beauty products,” McCrory joked.
McCrory said that his involvement in helping A.J. has opened his eyes to how influential one person can be when they simply take the initiative to care.
Working with A.J. has furthered his inspiration to start a non-profit organization through Resource Center Dallas that features a 24/7 crisis center for teenagers who need help.
“It really blew my mind that there is a missing link in that chain, like you can get counseling over the phone, but you can’t get help after hours,” McCrory said incredulously.
“You can have a crisis as long as it’s within business hours.”
McCrory also said that had A.J. been underage, this whole thing could have ended up a lot worse. Due to the possible liabilities in dealing with a minor, most people don’t want to deal with them — and they can’t check into hotels alone. The only thing left to do would have been to call the cops and let Child Protective Services handle it, “which is kind of shocking,” McCrory said.
“I thought it was kind of an amazing story that select people think there’s nothing you can do,” McCrory said. “But it takes one small step of doing something that, as little as it may be, it could be the one thing that changes that one life, really.”
In the Dallas area, Promise House in Oak Cliff is a shelter for LGBT teens in crisis. They have a 24-hour crisis line that can be called at 1-866-941-8578. They are located on 224 W. Page Ave. and provide crisis intervention services along with case management, counseling, emergency and long-term shelter as well as advocacy and outreach.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition October 7, 2011.
Wonderful story! David, you are caring and resourceful man! I volunteer at PFLAG here in Lubbock, TX, and have been involved in a similar situation without the added complications of distance. There is SO much need for help for LGBT youth.
I have never posted a reply before but this subject is so real because I lived through it in my youth. Yet in my time there was no help like there is now, but through my years growing and making mistakes I naturally screwed up enough that I had to do time in T.D.C.J. and again I was homeless and still GAY. An employee of a very reputable oil field company here in Dallas opened his heart and home to me to have a place to come too when release. I have held many jobs in the culinary and customer service fields, but once they find out from the results of a background check, I am called into the office and asked to leave the place. One place where i was acting manager pending promotion.i was confronted by the District manager at that time and told that i was fired and that i would never be able to work in the fast food industry or the culinary field ever again. I have been unemployed and have a business plan. and a perfect program to stop recidivism. But since i am unemployed and do not know how to make a webpage, to bring in other donations from the private sector because apparently these HIGH PROFILE BUSINESS’s and CEO’s are afraid to tarnish their images with their associates finding out that he/she supports a program that will stop recidivism in Dallas, Texas. For this I am seeking assistance in this program.
David,
It is so important to share stories such as these. People can only be inspired when one shares a personal experience. Most people think it’s lack of humility, but it spreading grateness! You are a special person and deserve credit, but I know through my personal experience that the credit you will get here is nothing like the feeling you have now! One of the most important things we can do in this life is to save a life. So many teens are homeless, lost and have nowhere to turn. Keep it up and who knows you could end up starting a huge organization that helps save lives of LGBT youth! Hope is the biggest gift of all! I wish you the best! Keep the conversation going!! Rich Dweck
I have never been more proud of my sweet and caring nephew, I love him sooooooooo much!!! Love you Dave, keep up the good work and keep spreading the LOVE!!! Your Aunt Vi.
I just have to say. I was a gay youth, and came out to my mother when I was 16. She kicked me out of the house. I went to a program in my hometown and explained the situation. They put me in protective services for 2 weeks and then I went into the foster care system. I learned how to take care of myself. I’m now a successful business man and only 42. I own my own company and have about 200 employees. I say – tell AJ that he can be gay and be a success. And congratulations Dave, you did a wonderful thing.
No doubt his lovely parents are such wonderful church-goin christians…..pathetic. How any parent can just “throw away” thier child……..they dont deserve children.
Disgusted American,
Do only and I quote “No doubt his lovely parents are such wonderful church-goin christians” “throw away” thier child”??? Judge not!!! Just saying, don’t fall into the same trap that they are in.
Outstanding job Dave McCrory. It’s sad I see kids on various websites and I’ve kind of said “no” because of the liability issues. I took assumed that either there was scamming going on or that it might not have been a teen. This gives me pause. These kids needs help 7 X 24. The sad part is that kids like this essentially need an adult support system to help them get by. Essentially this kid sounds like he “aged out” of the system. Sadly kids that age get abused sometimes or worse by predators. Too bad we can’t sort of create a healthy adoption system for kids who are adults but still need transitional help. A room, friendship, love, a bit of money and good will would really help – I’ve seen the difference it can make.