Holiday gift buying for LGBT people is difficult at best, anxiety-riddled at worst. What do you get the him, her or them who already have everything with specific tastes to boot? Play into stereotypes, that’s what. Identify where your favorite queers fall on the spectrum of zero to glittered unicorn then shop this list of cherry-picked presents.
The Sexual Demon. Let’s face it, gay men can all use lube — like, when is it ever a bad gift for the sexually active male? — and the lines from Wicked Lube serve every appetite… like, literally. These flavored, water-based lubricants include such festival holiday tastes Peppermint Cocoa, Candy Apple and Salted Caramel. And for those who like more endurance and less flavor, Jelle is just the ticket. Various prices and sizes at wickedsensualcare.com.
The Instagram Thirst Trap. 2(X)IST’s soft, muscle-hugging Essential Cotton One-Piece Union Suit — the horizontal printed stripes of which optically flatter waists slim or a bit wider — accentuates all the right areas for maximum thirst-trap potential, but gay-owned Sheehan & Co.’s thigh-bearing Drop Shoulder Onesie is for the real showoffs. $59, 2xist.com; $140, sheehanandcompany.com.
The Millennial Culture Vulture. Hundreds of classic and contemporary works were cultivated to create a revolving gallery of established and emerging artists for Depict Frame, a 49-inch 4K Ultra HD digital canvas that works with a subscription-based app ($20/month but a complimentary collection is included) to instantly turn any living room into the Louvre. $899, depict.com
The Scotch Connoisseur. Lots of people love whiskey (bourbon, Irish, etc.) but it takes a special palate to revel in the rich complexity of a single malt scotch. For the aficionado on your list, seek out a Speyburn Arranta Casks. This limited-release is a gold medal winner from numerous competitions in 2016 and 2017, using first-fill former bourbon barrels of American oak with the distinctive Speyside flavor. Its warmth and bright color are perfect for nights by the fire. $44, speyburn.com, totalwine.com, and other retailers.
The Host With the Most. Tequila gets a more sophisticated treatment than it’s used to in Pernod Ricard’s limited-edition Avión Collection by Waterford, featuring a luxury decanter and rocks glasses crafted by the famed crystal manufacturer, plus a 750ml bottle of Avión’s award-winning Añejo. $399, reservebar.com
The Perpetual Activist. Raising respectful children who turn into respectful adults is harder than it looks (at least in Hollywood, and Washington, D.C., and most red states), but The Little Feminist hopes to reverse that trend with its children’s book and activity subscription focused on diversity and gender equality – a much-needed resource given that over the past five years only 31 percent of children’s books featured female central characters while a paltry 13 percent featured a person of color. Change the world one kid at a time with three- or six-month subscriptions. $105-$200, thelittlefeminist.com
The Dapper Dandy. Leather-strap embossing allows you to personalize the modern minimalism of newly launched Washington Square Watches (the navy-faced Greenwich Gold is a piece to behold), or stick to tradition with London-based Oliver Coen’s polished subdial pieces presented in a signature black box. $155, washingtonsquarewatches.com; $190, olivercoen.com
The Gotta-Have-It Gaymer. The only mobile device controller to connect directly to Apple’s Lightning and Android’s USB-C ports for zero latency gaming, Gamevice — compatible with over 1,000 games and apps, including Street Fighter IV, NBA2K18 and The Walking Dead — also works as a controller for drones and robots (or so the AIs let you think). For stay-at-home console players, pick up holiday hot-tickets Destiny 2 and Call of Duty: WWII, based on the historical events of Operation Overlord and set in the European theater. $100, gamevice.com; games – $60/each, gamestop.com
The Loveable Lush. Craft beer connoisseurs can enjoy their hobby in the comfort of their homes thanks to Pico Model C, a countertop-brewing appliance that delivers five liters of liquid gold in about two hours, while the amateur mixologists on the other side of the bar whip up precisely portioned jigger-free cocktails with the Perfect Blend Smart Scale (which is great for healthy smoothies, too). $549, picobrew.com; $100, makeitperfectly.com
The Uber Gay. Before he starts kissing ass and taking names at the 25th Winter Party in Miami Feb. 28 to March 6 (this is your cue to buy him tickets!), he’ll tap into his inner gayby to style the queens in RuPaul’s Drag Race Paper Doll Book, featuring 10 illustrated punch-out dolls plus costumes for eight winners and two all-stars, including Sharon Needles, Bianca Del Rio and Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, among others. $25-$2,000, winterparty.com; book – $13, amazon.com
— Mikey Rox and Arnold Wayne Jones
