Marry someone who …

I love those memes: “Marry someone who looks at you the way…” and then there’s a photo of Derek looking at Meredith Grey or some celeb looking at Taylor Swift or some woman looking at anything pumpkin-flavored come the first hint of fall.

They’re silly, but they’re sweet, too. They’re about acknowledging that more than looks or money or anything else, one of the most important traits to look for in a partner is acknowledgement and appreciation.

There’s nothing worse than running yourself ragged for someone who never seems to notice. And there’s nothing better than being a thoughtful partner even in the simplest of ways — including just being yourself — and being acknowledged for that.

So, here’s my own version: Presenting “Marry someone who looks at you like my wife looks at me when…”

1. I make her tacos — or anything, really, when she’s really hungry but hasn’t said a word about it. I don’t necessarily feel like cooking all of the time. But I know how much it means to my wife to feel taken care of. And nothing says love like anticipating your partner’s needs and appreciating that anticipation.

2. I take the dogs out at night. We both love our dogs; we both hate getting up from out cozy spots that were finally settled into in the evening, when work is done and the new episode of Nine Perfect Strangers is on. Nothing says love like doing something you don’t feel like doing because your partner doesn’t feel like doing it either.

3. I sell another story. My wife could not be any prouder of me; it doesn’t matter if it’s a tiny piece for something local or online or a big story for the New York Times. My wife is always so proud of me it reminds me to give myself a little credit despite the nagging imposter syndrome that always seems to be lying in wait for me, like those childhood monsters under the bed.

4. I do the Wobble. Yes, I do mean that incredibly silly and outdated line dance that no wedding or cruise ship DJ can resist playing. I don’t know how it started, and I hope it never stops. But nothing makes my wife fall in love with me all over again more than seeing me throw self-consciousness out the window, summon my inner summer camp girl and hit the dance floor front and center.

5. I remember something — anything, really. Things are so busy and all over the place these days that when I remember to bring her a snack or grab her charger or make her a hair appointment or whatever, she looks at me like I hung the moon. That’s because she has a lot on in her and being able to trust that if she doesn’t remember something, hopefully I will, gives her a least a little piece of mind.

6. I pay for something. My wife is definitely the breadwinner around these parts. So, when I pick up something as little as lunch or as big as a vacation, she is thrilled because, although she certainly can pay for everything, she sure appreciates when she’s not simply expected to pay for everything. It’s not always about what you can do. It’s about not feeling like just because you can, you also have to.

7. I opt for something other than sweats. We live on a lake, and we work from home. So, it’s not like my wife cares or expects me to wear something other than my comfiest comfies. But when I do get gussied up — even the teeniest bit — she is over the moon and makes sure to tell me again and again how cute I look.

The truth is, when it comes to relationships, it’s the little things. Yes, those big trips and expensive gifts and grand gestures are wonderful. But they are not what the majority of our days and weeks and months and years are made up of.

Those days and weeks and months are made of moments where we put our partner first and where we show our appreciation to our partner for doing that. Nothing makes me feel more loved than when my wife gets crazy excited over the teeniest things. It reminds me that I don’t have to be or do anything other than who I am and what I’m doing right now — loving her as best as I can in every way that I can.