One recent evening, I sat down to dinner with Christians and Jews and Muslims, black and brown and white, men and women — people ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.The next morning, as my dog dashed out to chase a heron from our lawn; I saw a Monarch butterfly, a hummingbird and a dragonfly all in the time it took her to take care of her morning business.
Then I sat down to write about a budding bourbon company, the wedding of two ballet dancers and seeing a true rock concert for the first time. Then the next day, I drove out of town to spend the weekend with my bestie at a conference for the LGBTQ+ community.
And this month I will launch my new book about manifesting a life that truly fills your cup.
That’s the secret: Looking outside of yourself. Seeing the world. Seeing one another. Being a part of the universe. Remembering that we are part of the natural world, not the ruler of it. Not ignoring our differences but celebrating them. Not telling others how to live but learning from that otherness. Not fearing the unknown but beginning to know.
More and more, I find myself asking, “Why?”
Why are people so cruel?
Why are people so hateful?
Why are people so sure their way is the right way?
Why are people so ignorant and/or indifferent to the truth?
Why?
It’s ostrich syndrome. People keep their heads buried in the sand so they don’t have to know. If you never meet someone who is different from you, if everyone around you supports your narrow thinking, if you keep your doors and your mind and your eyes and your spirit and your heart closed, you will hate anything that is not familiar, anything that does not support your thinking.
Anything that is not … you.
We are living in a deadly loop of confirmation bias in which people do nothing more than seek out and vehemently cling to information that confirms or reinforces what they already believe to be true while turning a blind eye to any proof and truth — to any reality — that supports a different way of thinking.
If you always converse with people who agree with you, you will always think you are right.
Combine that with the Dunning-Kruger effect which “occurs when a person’s lack of knowledge and skill in a certain area causes them to overestimate their own competence,” and you have the perfect storm.
People are out there spewing hate and lies thinking they are impressing and educating when all they are really doing is grotesquely exposing their ignorance like peacocks showing their feathers. And when the display is to like-minded and equally-ignorant folks — BAM!
You have a frenzy of fueling falsehoods, and the wildfire of lies and hate rages on and on and on.
It’s a circle, a cycle, a cyclone. But it is not unstoppable. Not at all.
Walk into the light of the sun. Touch grass. Say hello to someone who doesn’t look like you. Share your joy and your truth and your light with someone who has only known their own.
Take away their “proof” by giving them proof of humanity, our humanity. Proof of life, of joy, of understanding.
People have become too heads down. Too navel gazing. Too fearful. People are terrified of discovering they are wrong.
Skin color does not affect intelligence. Religion is not mandate. Genitalia do not define ability or personhood or power or … anything.
Some days, I shudder from the light. The sun seems too powerful, too knowing. But most days, like today, I let it warm my skin and open my eyes. I am grateful for its work. I am grateful for the trees and air and sky. I am grateful for people who can teach me. I am grateful to be one tiny piece of an infinite puzzle.
But more than anything, I am grateful for my ability to know what I do not know.
People have become unwilling to recognize that there is something new to learn every day and that there is no threat in difference. The threat is in thinking we should all be the same and that your thinking is the only thinking.
I know only a few things to be true:
We are born equal. Period.
Humans have a right to kindness and dignity and respect.
And you must dole out those things in the same amount in which you wish to receive them.
We live — thankfully — in a democracy. Entitlement has no place here. Men are simply one gender — no more, no less, and with no special privileges. The same goes for Christians or white people or rich people or political people or famous people or any people.
People — all people — deserve to live peacefully and in the way that they wish. When you infringe on those rights for others, you should expect to be met with any and all forms of resistance.
It’s time to step out and step up and step in.