Making new friends in Oregon
I know this weekend is all about celebrating our freedom and independence and the once-welcoming and incredible country that we once were and that, I know, we will be again. But in light of everything going on, I want to celebrate something else this year: Community. Because right now, it feels like that’s the only thing that just might save us all.
Queer people have long been aware of the power of community. In some ways, it is one of the only things we’ve really had through our darkest days — that figurative sense of community that we can draw strength from as well as the literal places where we can gather as a community and find safety and support.
This feels like a summer of community for me. This weekend, we will celebrate with friends and chosen family, the majority of whom are queer. We will eat and drink and watch fireworks and play in and on the lake.
But we will also find solace in one another and remind one another — with nothing more than our presence, in some cases — that despite it all we have this.
We always have this.
We have one another.
I just returned from Queer Wine Fest in McMinnville, Ore., where winemaker and former McMinnville Mayor Remy Drabkin, founder and owner of Remy Wines, created community through wine. It was so empowering and hopeful to be among all of these queer winemakers — and queer wine drinkers — celebrating themselves and each other, especially since I live in a state that isn’t always the most friendly to us.
Over the weekend, I also visited all of these queer-owned places. While in Portland, I played at the immersive art gallery in Portland — Hopscotch Portland — which was deliciously fun and incredibly inspiring. Then I did some shopping at Wildfang, which is the home of the Wild Feminist crewneck.
In McMinnville, I ate at Bierly Brewing, a queer-owned and gluten-free joint. (And, holy smokes! the maple bars!) I visited Big Oak Flower Farm, which was basically heaven between the rows of flowers and the sweet dog who couldn’t stop bringing over a stick or ball for me to toss.
Even the transportation company I used is queer owed — First Nature Tours.
Here’s the thing about supporting queer-owned businesses: When we support them, we are supporting ourselves.
Pride Month may be over, but the need to connect to one another and raise one another up is never over. We are a community that needs community, and only we can build and grow community.
At the end of this month, I will head to The Land, where Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival was formerly held, for Big Mouth Girl, where queer women will gather for community as much as for music.
There is something about being on that dirt, among the oaks and the ferns, among the musicians and my fellow campers. It reminds me that as the founder of Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival Lisa Vogel said (and titled her book on the subject), “We can live like this.” We can live in community with generosity and joy and kindness and integrity.
We can.
It may be hard right now to hear songs praising the U.S. and extolling its virtues. It may be hard to see American flags flying. It may be hard to celebrate freedom when so many are losing it right here on this very land that is supposed to be a beacon of hope and light for those seeking freedom from oppression of all kinds.
So instead I will be celebrating community this July 4th and all summer long. Whether I am wrapped it in literally or only figuratively at any given moment, I will celebrate that we have one another.
I will celebrate the people making sure are lives are filled with art. I will celebrate those who create delicious things for us to eat and drink. I will celebrate those who create community, and I will celebrate those who are part of our community — all of them.
Here’s the thing: There will always be bad in the world. There will. Denying that doesn’t serve any of us in any way. And, in fact, it could stand to hurt us.
But there will also always be good — good people, good places, good food and drink and art and nature and celebration.
If we can hold on to that, we can hold on.
So Happy Fourth of July! Happy Summer! Happy Community Building!
This summer let’s celebrate ourselves and others. Let’s celebrate those doing the work. Let’s celebrate all of the good. Because darkness only begets darkness. But light begets light.
Let’s all not just light sparklers and fireworks this season, let’s be them.
Sparkle on, my friends.