We’re joking, of course, but that is kinda what President Joe Solmonese implies in a mass e-mail this morning. Here’s an excerpt:

We have staff on the ground around the country and plans to deploy even more. We’re bolstering state groups, even as we fight against hostile federal bills and amendments. But to make it work, we need 2,011 new members like you – that works out to just 32 more from Texas – to join HRC in the next week. Once you do, we’ll stop sending reminders and get back to the work of securing equality.

Solmonese goes on to reiterate his warning that if you don’t join, you’ll continue to receive these e-mails:

Be part of the civil rights battle of our day. Fight for marriage. Join now — and we won’t send you any more emails for the remainder of our membership drive.

On a serious note, the e-mail comes under the subject line “The next Prop 8,” and it notes that lawmakers in New Hampshire are set to try to repeal same-sex marriage. It also says “hateful groups” are trying to ban same-sex marriage in Indiana, Minnesota, New Mexico, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Iowa and West Virginia. There are now 20 state legislatures with anti-LGBT majorities, Solmonese says, which is twice as many as are under pro-equality leadership.
And if that isn’t reason enough to join HRC, check out the USB car charger above that’s offered with a new membership, which can be had for as little as $35.
If journalism ethics didn’t discourage us from supporting individual LGBT groups, Instant Tea would be tempted. Then again, we’d stop receiving these fun e-mails. But seriously, maybe you should join so that HRC will start working again. Full e-mail after the jump.

Dear John,

Prop. 8 ended marriage equality in California and shocked a nation. I’m writing because New Hampshire could be next.

Right-wing lawmakers have taken over the New Hampshire legislature – and they’re already working on four distinct bills to take the right to marry away from loving, same-sex couples.

And that’s not all. Hateful groups are trying to ban same-sex marriage in Indiana, Minnesota, New Mexico, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Iowa, and West Virginia.

Equality is under attack: along with the anti-LGBT wave in the U.S. Congress, 20 state governments are now under the control of conservative legislatures and governors – twice as many as are under more pro-equality leadership.

We have staff on the ground around the country and plans to deploy even more. We’re bolstering state groups, even as we fight against hostile federal bills and amendments. But to make it work, we need 2,011 new members like you – that works out to just 32 more from Texas – to join HRC in the next week. Once you do, we’ll stop sending reminders and get back to the work of securing equality.

Stand up for marriage in Congress and in states across the country. Join HRC now.

You already know what we’re defending against in our nation’s capital. A U.S. House led by right-wingers. A whopping 53 more anti-equality representatives and five more anti-equality senators in Congress.

But the front line in the battle for marriage equality is in the states. Conservatives now hold more state legislative seats than they have since 1928. Hateful groups like the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) are pushing their agenda in more states than ever before. But there are also some important new opportunities. Your support, right now, could tip the balance.

In Maryland and New York, we stand a strong chance of winning real marriage equality and gender identity protections. We’re counting on the support of each and every HRC member to aid our local partners and to help pay for several experienced organizers in each state.

In Florida, right-wing hate groups are plotting to overturn a landmark court ruling that allows gays and lesbians to adopt children. We can’t let it happen – and we’re working with coalition partners to make sure those extremists don’t come anywhere close.

In New Hampshire, where your support was key to winning marriage equality in 2009, we’re fighting back against those who want to repeal that right and deny loving couples the freedom to marry. We’ve already committed money and staff, and we’re working with the New Hampshire Freedom to Marry Coalition to build a rock-solid campaign.

In Hawaii and Delaware, passing civil union legislation is a very real possibility. We’ll be investing in both states to bolster local groups’ efforts and tip the balance in favor of equality.

In Indiana, Minnesota, New Mexico, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, West Virginia or any state where NOM tries to pass a constitutional ban on equal marriage, we’ll be there, exposing their lies with the help of our local “NOM Watchers.”

Just as we did with the successful campaign to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” we’re always working with leaders in both parties to achieve progress on equal rights. But we won’t ever shy away from taking on new legislators who are beholden to the most conservative wing of the Republican Party.

LGBT and straight, young and old, of all backgrounds and beliefs, HRC members aren’t satisfied with just sitting back and watching what happens. They’re willing to step up and fuel this fight for equality.

In 2011, as state battles heat up and a hostile House of Representatives plays politics with our rights, we’re going to need more members, more strength, and more resolve. State legislatures are already in session; we need you now.

Be part of the civil rights battle of our day. Fight for marriage. Join now – and we won’t send you any more emails for the remainder of our membership drive.

Congress. State capitols. Schools. Churches. Corporate headquarters. Wherever equality and acceptance are at stake, HRC is at work – and HRC members are leading the charge.

Thank you for everything,

Joe Solmonese
President

P.S. I’m so grateful if you’ve already put a check in the mail or given to HRC through some other method. If you’ve yet to contribute, though, please consider making a gift now. Your gift is critical to maintaining our fight against hate and bigotry in all its forms