Last night, my good friend and fellow critic Elaine Liner at the Dallas Observer engaged in a Facebook exchange where we came up with a tongue-in-cheek list of rejected Olympic sports. Here’s what we came up with; what can you think of?
• Undressage
• Bicuriousathlon
• Javelina throw (Arkansas only)
• Oprah lifting
• Greco-Roman bailout
• Bobby tossing
• Goodminton
• Pumice horse
• Uneven parallel lives
• Quintuples tennis
• Individual vegetable medley
• Skeet Ulrich shooting
• 1000 meter staring
• 4000 meter relapse with Dr. Drew
• Mammary development (women’s gymnastic only)
• 10 meter platform driving
• Pallbearing
• Synchronized screaming
• Bitch volleyball
• Wanking (singles and pairs)
• Sudoku
• Tramp stamping
• Speedtalking
• Tumblring
• Discus-s
• 1000 meter race-baiting
• Deathlon
• Frottage