More than a year after his public split from Texas writer Del Shores, actor-musician Jason Dottley finally talks about his divorce, his music and his Love Story Project
STARTING OVER | Dottley, who has made no public statement about his late 2012 split from Del Shores until now, says he’s glad that his ex has started dating again, but is even happier to launch a new project.
When Sordid Lives star Jason Dottley married his long-term partner, playwright and filmmaker Del Shores, in 2003, the pair imagined theirs would be a love to last a lifetime.
Together, the “first couple of West Hollywood” (as they were dubbed by fans of the show) fought hard for marriage equality, becoming posterboys of the movement. That was, until late 2012, when Shores announced via Facebook that they were splitting. In his post, Shores wrote, “This was not what I wanted, but I must now accept what Jason wants.”
Disappointed fans waited to hear Dottley’s reason for ending the relationship — and were kept waiting and waiting. The Mississippi native chose to remain silent.
Even Shores admitted in an interview in Dallas Voice that he didn’t know why Dottley departed. “Let me put it this way,” he explained, “I come up with reasons I don’t cast certain [actors], but the bottom line is, I don’t want [them] to play the role. The bottom line was, Jason said, ‘I don’t want to be married to you anymore.’
And there was no negotiation on any level.”
After a year of personal contemplation, Dottley is ready to break his silence. More than that, he is eager to experience love again. He sings about it in “Love Story,” his new song that drops Jan. 28. A slice of ’80s pop, layered with emotionally compelling lyrics, is the first of a three-part experience Dottley is calling The Love Story Project that will also include a music video and a Love-U-Mentary film.
— Mick Sandoval
Visit JasonsLoveStoryProject.com for more information.
Dallas Voice: Your marriage with Del Shores was so public, why did you choose to keep your divorce private for so long? Jason Dottley: I chose to keep my pain and my journey to myself, to write about it, to learn from it. Discussing it with total strangers while I was lost in the trek myself was not on the agenda for me.
How long has it been since the divorce became final? April, 2013.
You were married nine years. Walking down the aisle, did you intend for it to be forever? Of course I did.
When did the blooms first start falling from the rose? That sounds so pretty. About two years before we separated.
Were you fighting or simply drifting in different directions? We evolved into people who didn’t compliment and inspire each other any more. We stopped healing, growing. It wasn’t like I threw the towel in the first time it got ugly. It was two years of collapsing before the foundation had to be scrapped entirely. Then we fought. Divorce doesn’t bring the best out of you.
When did you know it was over? At some point, a fire inside of you for someone burns out. It’s a cold, lonely feeling. You just know.
What is your relationship with Del like now? We are peaceful and out of each other’s lives.
Are you prepared to see him with a new man? I saw pics of Del with a guy that I heard he’s dating. He looked so happy. It eased my guilt for leaving. As for him seeing me with a new man, well, once I’m ready to share that part of my life openly again, he’ll see, and he’ll be fine.
Is it true that Del recast you in Sordid Lives? Can you imagine for one minute how awkward that set would be? I’m not friends with anyone in that cast because of my divorce. If he has recast the role, congrats to the new guy, who I hear is the original Ty from the movie. My life has moved on from Sordid Lives, so it’s not something that I feel I lost. It’s cherished, and I’m fine to leave my work as Ty complete as-is. And I am definitely the better Ty. [Laughs] Yeah, I said it. Del knows it, too.
Has it been hard to contemplate love after divorce? If you go out looking for love, you might as well stay home. Love will find you.
What is one thing you will do in your next relationship as a result of what you learned from your last? I will communicate better. I will compromise more, and I will always make sure he knows that he’s my everything.
Will you walk down the aisle again? You bet your ass.
Will the next time be forever? Who can say? I believe we are intended to have a series of love affairs.
You don’t believe in one soulmate? I absolutely believe in soulmates. Nothing about a soulmate says that you are meant to be together forever, or even together at all. My three best friends are all my soulmates, but I’m not romantically interested in them.
Do you believe in monogamy? One hundred percent. I do not share. I’ll guest star occasionally, though.
Why did you decide to launch The Love Story Project? The Love Story Project is my attempt to shine a light on gay love. The project aims to help people see gay lovers as people and not ideas. I encourage everyone to visit the website, share your story and become a part of it yourself!
Are you encouraged by the response the project has received so far? I am! It has pushed me further than I ever thought I could take this project.
What are you looking for in your own next “love project?” Someone who is ambitious, fearless and inspiring. I’ve already found him, but I ain’t giving details! I’ve learned the hard way to keep my heart private.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 17, 2014.
