A cracked phone, a so-so movie and a fabulous book
Hello beautiful people. This will be another episode of brain vomit. For those of you that are new to reading my column, “brain vomit” basically means that what you are about to read will be all over the place.
Some days I have the attention span of a toddler after they have eaten an entire bag of Sour Patch Kids. Today is one of those days.
First off, I am pissed. I have had my cell phone for at least three-and-a-half years. I am one of those people that will use the same phone until it disintegrates, and I am forced to buy a new one. Sure, I would like a new phone every time a new one comes out. But I am also a creature of habit, and I get easily annoyed having to learn new shit.
I have had the same phone case since I first got this phone. It is one of those OttoBox covers and has worked beautifully.
I drop my phone ALL of the time — I am a klutz — but never once have I broken a screen or had any problems with it.
Recently though, the rubber around the edge of the case has started to thin, tear or break off. That is pretty good considering how much I handle my phone — in and out of my pocket all day. I touch my phone and manhandle it more than I did my own penis as a teenager.
A few days ago, I decided to replace my cover. So I went on Amazon and saw a cute, blue, “military grade” cover. I bought it. I also invested in a privacy screen protector, so if I am in public — let’s just say, y’all don’t need to see what I am looking at.
It made my old phone look and feel new.
Fast forward a few hours, and I am onstage with the girls, rehearsing a new production before the bar opens. I go to pull out my phone to show Kelexis the costume ideas for the production, and I drop my phone. It slipped out of my hand and fell from waist high. Not only did the privacy screen fly off and crack, but the corner of the phone’s screen shattered, with one thin crack running across the upper third of the screen.
Military grade my ass!
This is exactly why I keep shit that works until I absolutely have to replace it. Grrrrrr! I am going back to the OttorBox case just as soon as I get my fucking screen replaced.
By now most of you have watched the Beetlejuice sequel. It was okay — just too many convoluted stories and not enough heart. It was fun to watch, but it didn’t capture much of what I loved about the original.
I may be being overly critical of the movie, but if you are gonna wait 36 years to do a sequel, fucking nail it. I was welmed — not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed.
If you haven’t seen the musical Beetlejuice do yourself a favor and get tickets for it as soon as possible. It will be at Bass Performance Hall at the end of October. It is amazing and definitely one of my new all-time favorites.
Not many people have even heard of the movie Strange Darlings, but it was a surprisingly good little fucked-up movie.
Steven King tweeted about it a few weeks ago and said he loved it and was glad he went into it without knowing anything about it. That was all I needed to hear; we saw it the next day.
Good, twisted fun — although I feel like the movie may have given me lung cancer. So many close-up scenes of people smoking. So very …. not glamorous. But it’s definitely worth watching.
One of my new favorite books is called Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt. It is a light, easy read, but is so damn good. I usually stick to my dark, spooky, apocalyptic-type of fiction to calm my brain. (I know: There is a lot to unpack with that last sentence, but that is for another time.) I haven’t clicked with a book like this since Where the Crawdads Sing, and — just like WTCS — I couldn’t wait for someone to make that story into a movie.
Anytime I read a book I always cast the actors I picture in my head for my mind movie. In Remarkably Bright Creatures , the main character is an older lady named Tovah. In my head, I pictured Sally Field from the jump. Every person I told about this book, I would say, “if they ever do a movie of this book, I want Sally Field to play Tovah.”
When I only had about two chapters left in the book and was not wanting it to end, I decided to Google it, to see if there were any plans to make Remarkably Bright Creatures into a movie. The first thing that popped up was a Vanity Fair article that said Sally Field had just signed on to be the lead in the movie adaptation of Remarkably Bright Creatures .
I got fucking goosebumps! I CANNOT WAIT!
One last thing: I wanted to say a heartfelt thank you to every person that reached out with a kind word or a hug after my last article about the “Always There.” I didn’t want to send it in after I wrote it, but I am glad I did because the response has been very overwhelming and uplifting. Knowing that so many of us have that voice in our heads, and that I am not the only one, makes it easier to quiet that bitch. So, thanks again.
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova