The pros and cons of getting older
Hello beautiful people. Let’s talk about getting older. Getting older has its ups and downs, so for every negative I list about getting older, I will try to list a positive as well. Let’s see how this goes.
I had my first colonoscopy a few weeks ago and it was fabulous. Sorry, did I say fabulous? I meant fucking horrible.
Twenty-four hours before the procedure where they stick a camera up your ass, you have to take this delicious drink … I’m sorry did I say delicious? I meant a gross liquid that tasted like someone bit a lemon then pissed in your mouth.
That wonderful lemon-flavored grossness is the key that opens the door to your guts. Ten minutes after I took it, I was on the terrlit. I couldn’t go more than 10 feet from that throne of doom before I had to run back and feed the meter. I stayed in bed most of the day because it was just a few feet from the bathroom. The second I would get in bed and get comfortable — gurgle gurgle, and I was running back.
You can’t eat for 24 hours either. The instructions from the doctor say it’s okay to have broth, tea or popsicles. as long as the popsicles are not red or purple. So I had a green and a yellow popsicle. That just made me go to the toilet more, so I just did not eat or drink anything else.
The next morning, I was pretty much “cleaned” out. We headed to the hospital for the actual procedure. The husband had to take a day off work to drive me home and thank tha Lawd he did. The best part of the whole day was the first 30 minutes after coming out of anesthesia. I felt fucking fabulous.
It turned out I had a few polyps that the doctor removed, and she said everything looked great. I’m glad I had it done, but I am so glad that that is over … for a few years anyway.
A positive about getting older … uuuummm … I care less and less about what people think. So that’s something.
Another negative: The smallest thing can hurt. Yesterday, I turned my head to the right and BAM! Sore neck! I sat down — nothing dramatic or weird, I just sat down — and now my back hurts.
A positive: I like the smell of Bengay and Tiger Balm. Weird, I know.
Speaking of hurting, last night they had the Pride Block Party at and around the Dallas Museum of Art. It was awesome to see so many families and people from all walks of life, supporting our community. I did a Drag Queen Story Time for a rambunctious group of kids, and it was so much fun.
Then a few of us drag performers were asked to model while a group sketched us. That was very cool, and I got some lovely sketches of myself. The hurting came from my dumb ass thinking I could hold a fierce pose for an entire hour and not move.
I held one leg straight and bent the other, with my hands on my hips in a very diva stance. That was so dumb of me.
Not 10 minutes into it, and I started to hurt. That straight leg started to tremble. My hands started to go numb. I was trying to look fierce on the outside but inside I was dying. That was the longest hour of my life. Today, everything hurts — back, neck, legs and, of course, my feet. My feet always hurt though. Drag is slowly killing me.
A positive was all of the cool artwork people did of us. I’d do it again just for that reason, but I’d choose a better pose — like maybe on a chaise lounge looking like a baroque painting.
A positive and a negative of getting older is naps. Why did we fight taking naps as kids? I love my naps. The downside to napping is sometimes it feels like a waste of a day. But honestly, fuck that! I love a nap.
The biggest and worst part of getting old is seeing it in the mirror. Some days, I swear, that ain’t me. Other days I’m like, at least I’m alive. Then I get in my feelings over all of the beautiful young people I have known that have died way too soon.
I may be getting old and ugly, but at least I am here! Yes, getting old sucks but the alternative sucks way more. As we all grow old together, let’s be nicer to ourselves. We have earned it.
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova
