10 songs

Hello my beauties. As we all know, music plays a huge part in everyone’s life. If you are truly trying to get to know someone, ask them to make a list of the 10 songs that shaped them into who they are today. It doesn’t have to be songs that everyone knows; it is personal, so it may be the most random rarity or the B-side of a forgotten artist.

Honestly, this will take some thought. And a few on my list might surprise you, while others are kind of obvious.

First up is “WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO” by Wham. I was probably in 7th grade, and there was something so freeing about hearing that song and seeing the way George Michael danced in the video. Looking back now it is so obviously gay. He danced like I did behind closed doors. I recorded it on my Jambox off of the radio and wore that tape out.

Later, my stepmom did the Columbia House deal, 12 for a penny, and gave me the Wham cassette. I loved almost every song on it.

Next would have to be a Madonna song. I’m finding it hard to figure out which one from back in the day was my favorite. Maybe “VOGUE,” because once again it gave me some of the gay liberation I so desperately needed. Or maybe “LIKE A PRAYER,” because I remember actually performing it in our living room for my sister and her friends. Although, when she sings “Let the choir sing,” I had no idea what she was saying. So I made up a word that would fit there: “Lef O Quar See!” My sister still makes fun of me for that faux pas.

Wait! There’s also “HANKY PANKY” …. Damn it! Let’s just say number 2 is an early Madonna song.

“EVERYBODY EVERYBODY” by Black Box is number 3. It was the song that was playing the first time I got into a gay bar, and every time I hear it, I am 18 years old and dancing at The Wave.

I get the same feelings from “JUSTIFIED & ANCIENT” by KLF featuring Tammy Wynette, “GOOD VIBRATIONS” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, “CRUCIFIED” by Army of Lovers and “GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT (EVERYBODY DANCE NOW)” by C&C Music Factory. Those were the best dancing days of my life.

Now, here is where my music choices kinda changed. I didn’t really go through my angsty teenage phase until I was in my mid to late 20s. That was around the time that a broken heart would affect every fiber of my being, and I was starting to see the way the world actually worked.

Back then, in the old Rose Room, we would do at least one slow song out of the three shows we did. It was so different then; the audience was so close to you that you could be dramatic and have it show on your face. Emoting and conveying the drama of a song was a true art, sadly lost in this instant gratification, attention-span-of-a-goldfish kind of world. I could watch Celeste Martinez or Whitney Paige perform slow dramatic songs forever.

Number 4, I actually never performed, but Ialways wanted to. It is “FULL OF GRACE” by Sarah McLachlan. They played it at the end of season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I became obsessed: moody and sad — and perfect.

Numbers 5 and 6 are both by Linda Eder, absolutely one of my favorite artists of all time. I saw Coco perform “BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS” at some pageant years ago — I think it was at Bamboleo’s — and it was so beautiful and moving that I went the next day and bought the CD. Then I discovered the Jekyll and Hyde Gothic Musical, and it shook my word. Linda Eder singing “BRING ON THE MEN” changed my drag forever.

This next song helped me out so much when I was having menfolk problems. For a long period of time in the late ’90s and early 2000s, I dated trash. Most of the guys I “dated” — and I use that term loosely — were starfuckers. They loved the attention they got by being on Cassie Nova’s arm: free cover, free drinks and the star treatment for the illusion that we were together.

They adored Cassie but had no interest in James.

It happened over and over again. I’d fall for them, realize the situation and then wait too long to cut them out of my life. The song “I’LL BE OKAY” by Amanda Marshall became my anthem. I listened to it on loop every time I suffered any kind of heartbreak. It is on the soundtrack to My Best Friend’s Wedding, and you should definitely look it up.

It is hard not to put more songs by Amanda Marshall on this list, because she is amazing and so many of her songs said so much of what I was feeling back then. If you are interested, look up “WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME” and “IF I DIDN’T HAVE YOU.” So good.

Then I met Jamie and a week later, Kelly Clarkson’s “MISS INDEPENDENT” was released. Y’all — that song put me through! I WAS Miss Independent; I was Miss Self-Sufficient; I was Miss Keep Your Distance! Then, ooh, I fell in love. That song still makes me emotional. It depicted my exact feelings at the exact time I needed to hear it.

Speaking of Jamie, number 9 is because of him. On our one-month anniversary he said he wanted to play a song for me that summed up how he was feeling. I was like, “Oh shit! What if I hate it?!” Then the song started — “I DON’T WANNA MISS A THING” by Aerosmith. Written by muthafuckin’ Diane Warren. I love her. It’s our song now, and I love every single version of it. He did good and got me right in the heart!

Number 10 is a toss-up between “MY IMMORTAL” or “BRING ME TO LIFE” by Evanescence. “Immortal” because of the feelings, but “Bring Me” because of how much money it has made me over the years.

Well shit, I think I need more than 10! “PIECE BY PIECE” by Kelly Clarkson because, well, daddy issues. “HEAVYDIRTYSOUL” by Twenty-One Pilots; “UNANSWERED PRAYERS” by Garth Brooks; “THRILLER” by Michael Jackson; “ONE NIGHT IN HEAVEN” by M People … . Fuck! I could go on all day, but these songs scratch the surface of ME.

What are your 10? Send this to someone you wanna get to know and find out their 10.

Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova