Living in “The Shade”
Hello everybody. I have lived in my little gay bubble for a long time now, and by that, I mean I rarely interact with non-gay people …. what are they called? Straights?
Of course I come across them in the Walmartz, the Brookshires and sometimes even in the clubs. But they are not part of my core group that I talk to every day. Hence, my little gay bubble.
So, I got to wondering if the straights deal with “The Shade” as much as we do? I mean, I know that girls can be shady; I have watched Real Housewives. But The Gays can shade like no other, and a drag queen wields a read like an Airbender with a fart. (Feel free to take a second to envision that!)
A well-timed, thoughtful read can be such a beautiful thing. I will be honest: If some of y’all could take a read as well as you can take a dick, this world would be a better place.
For me personally, funny beats feelings every time. I have been read for filth by some of the world’s best, and, regardless of how mean it is, if it’s funny, I absorb it to let it make me stronger.
Not everyone is going to appreciate what gets said in this article, but that’s okay. You can’t please everyone. Jokes are just that — jokes. I would also like to give a disclaimer right now that if you are one of those offended by everything kind of bitch, stop reading this right now. The world today is so quick to get offended by ridiculous things that drag queens hold so much back in hopes of not being cancelled for a piece of a joke taken out of context.
That doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t be held accountable for what they say or do, but I always go back to intent.
Even within my little gay bubble, there is shade. But in my actual bubble of close friends there isn’t that much “shade.”
Sure, we gossip and vent to each other about one another, but I feel like that is pretty normal behavior for humans in general. Sometimes, you need to talk shit out with someone close to you to help you see the full picture of a situation, and also it’s a chance for a close friend to tell you that you are being stupid about something that doesn’t even matter.
If you don’t have anyone in your life to call you out on your shit, you end up like Kanye West. Mental illness and nothing but “YES men” in your life will lead to very questionable behavior.
Gays love to gossip. Actually, I think everyone loves to gossip. Even if you don’t spread the gossip, I know your ass has leaned in closer to hear some. I am 100 percent guilty of all of it. If one of my sisters starts a conversation with “Guuuuuurl!” or “Biiiiitttccchhh!” — I know I am in for some hot tea.
A lifetime of working in loud-ass clubs has caused me to not hear as good as I once could. I say “huh?” 50 times a day and watch almost every TV show with the closed captions ON. But in the Rose Room dressing room, I can hear through walls, hear over blow dryers and have gotten pretty good at reading lips. If there is gossip to be heard, suddenly I am a bat and I can hear around corners.
That ain’t just me either. Every showgirl develops super hearing after they have done shows for a while.
One thing I cannot stand is someone who is shady enough to gossip but not ballsy enough to use names. Recently, there was an incident: A wig was stolen from a bar in plain sight. Weeks go by then we hear about the “gossip” going around over who stole it and who saw them steal it. Queens saying they know the whole story and have no problem stirring the pot but, when pressed, swear they know nothing.
One of the things I love most about our drag community is that we tend to take care of and watch out for each other. So, when someone steals from one of us, I fucking want to know who did it. I want to know, who do I need to watch my stuff around? I wanna know who NOT to ever give a booking to.
I would also like more to go on than just hearsay and gossip, but a heads-up on possible thieves is always welcomed.
Yes, I do see the hypocrisy in me not calling out said queens. But I am using the above story as an example of standing behind what you said — for now. The point is, don’t talk shit behind someone’s back if you are not willing to say it to their face. I learned that the hard way.
Picture it: Dallas,1999. There was gossip about an entertainer getting fired from a bar for stealing a bottle of Jagger. I had just heard the gossip and could not wait to start my story with “Guuuuurrlll!” I am standing in the dressing room facing my good Judy. I tell her, “Miss Thing did you hear so-and-so got fired from that other bar for stealing a bottle of Jagger?” I then go on a tirade about what kind of stupid bitch does such a thing. I say that is one of the dumbest things
I have ever heard of and that she is a fucking idiot for stealing.
Then I noticed my good Judy’s face change and her shoulders tense. I said, “She is behind me, isn’t she?” Judy gives a slight nod. In for a penny, in for a pound. I whip around without missing a beat and lay into the liquor thief: “You dumbass! Why would you steal from a place you work? What is wrong with you?” At that point, you just have ta own it.
A version of that story has happened to me more times than I can count, so now, if I’m gonna gossip about you, I figure you are standing behind me. In a strange way, it keeps me from going too hard … Well, most of the time.
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova
