Day drinking and fine quarantine dining
Hello squirrelfriends. Have you gone crazy yet? Are ya sick of being at home? Or are you one of those assholes out and about everyday like there ain’t a pandemic? Just kiddin. This isn’t going to be a bitchfest. Instead, today I would like to talk about some of the things I have liked or learned during this quarantine.
First off — and I hope I don’t sound like the world’s biggest alcoholic when I say this, but — day drinking is awesome! I’ve always liked day drinking, but since I work nights, I usually don’t do it. If I drank all day and then went on to do a show that night, I would be a rotten mess by the end of that third show.
I’d say nobody wants to see that, but I know better. Some of y’all love to see us get sloppy drunk.
I’m actually not drinking that much, but being stuck at home with nothing on my schedule, I will make myself a random shot just to do laundry. Last Wednesday at 2 p.m., I made myself a dirty martini and walked outside — too fucking hot! And back inside I went to finish my drink and watch Kelly.
I gotta be careful, though. I accidentally had a cocktail and went to Wal-mart. Let’s just say, anyone not wearing a mask got called an idiot — loudly, and usually from another aisle or while I looked like I was reading the ingredients to something from a few feet away. It was actually kind of fun.
I also told a teenager to stop using the electric shopping cart. Nothing was wrong with him, he just thought he looked cute driving up and down the aisles with his feet propped up. I told him to get his lazy ass off of that thing and leave it for someone that actually needs it. He said, “Yes ma’am!” as he jumped up and ran away. In his defense, all he saw of me was a mask and eyebrows and I might have been wearing a loose blouse.
Plus, day drinking can sometimes lead to hanky-spanky time. And even better is when your husband is home so he can join in. Drunken sex on a random Tuesday afternoon is awesome.
We’ve gotten into a routine to water our plants in the backyard. Yes, that’s how bad things have gotten. I get excited to go outside in the evenings and water freaking plants. The backyard looks great, even though the only people seeing it are myself, the husband, the dogs and Ruby, the Tort!
But, this second half of quarantine, I have got to exercise more, especially if I am going to continue to cook like I have been. This extra time has given me the drive to try some different recipes.
I recently made pernil, a Puerto Rican pork roast marinated in a lime juice, orange juice, cilantro, garlic and other seasonings. It turned out so good! But I should have set some of the marinade aside to drizzle over that super tender pork. I could have drank that marinade by itself! Picture Homer Simpson: “Marinade Aaaagggg!”
Speaking of cooking, have you watched the docuseries Taste The Nation with Padma Lakshmi on Hulu? It is one of my favorite shows I’ve watched during quarantine. It does an amazing job of teaching about different cultures food while also opening our eyes to what “American” food actually is.
This show shines a very poetic and timely light on immigration in America. Each episode looks at a different culture and the struggle the people from that country face once they are actually in America — well, except the Native Americans, who were already here. Their story — like so many of the stories from this series — will break your heart as it educates you.
That show really got me thinking about my family heritage. We did 23andMe DNA tests last year and found out — shockingly enough — that I am overwhelmingly white: 52.6 percent British and Irish, 27.8 percent French and German, 2.1 percent Scandinavian. Culinarily speaking, that’s not a lot to get excited about. Sure, each of these countries has a few dishes I like and relate to, but none of those foods remind me of home.
I guess I should create my own cookbook of recipes that I connect to. You know, we love to say that by being gay we get to choose our family, but does that mean I can choose dishes that I connect to, as long as
I give credit where it is due? Most of the things I cook we have always just called “country.” In reality though, it is mostly soul food or Creole cooking.
Southern staples like beans and cornbread, chicken and dumplins, biscuits and gravy and all things fried are the foods that I think of when I think of my family — poor people food, where you made the best with what you have. And yes, food snobs, I know that some of those foods have roots in French technique, but its not French food to me.
Truth be told I make Latin, Tex-Mex, Indian, Middle Eastern, Chinese and Italian dishes in my house more than I do Southern food — unless it is a holiday. If I had kids, I hope that all of those types of food would remind them of home.
I think I have just talked myself into making a fabulous dinner — and possibly a shot or two!
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous. XOXO, Cassie Nova
