Enjoying Sunday Funday… and owning your humiliation
Hello, all. I have had a pretty kick-ass start to my summer and it has made me realize how lucky I am. Some would even say blessed. Or highly favored (or is it flavored?). Anyhoo, a few weeks ago, my hubby and I both had a Sunday off and decided we wanted to do a big Sunday Funday. I wrangled up a big group of our friends for brunch and a little day drinking. We had brunch at Peasant Pizzeria on The Strip. The mimosas were mostly champagne topped with just a little bit of O.J., just the way I like them. I love that the way they made their pizza into a brunch item was to put two fried eggs on top. It was delicious.
From there, we decided we were going to go to all the bars we never get the chance to visit. I love the bars on The Strip, but we wanted to venture out and see what else our community had to offer on a random Sunday afternoon.
Our First stop was the Tin Room — dark and seedy with the lovely smell of bleach and cleaner. They even had dancers. Three cute guys working hard on a Sunday afternoon. We got a drink and huddled around one of the stripper poles. It was dark with a bit of that moody fog from the hazers, so that it created quite the ambiance. That was until someone would open the door and let the harsh sunlight in and we all hissed like vampires in our lair. Our friend Tyler said he had to leave, but we wouldn’t let him go until he gave us a little dance around the pole. I can’t say he was a natural at it, but I think he was holding back. Next time, Tyler, I want a fully-choreographed pole dance with feeling. You need to earn those dollas!
Our next stop was the Dallas Eagle. The handsome and hairy Dylan was bartending and they had $1 drinks so we nestled in for a while. On the dance floor they were teaching a line dance, which I stayed away from. Learning choreo felt too much like work, so we just kept drinking and playing darts. Our good girlfriend Justin and I teamed up to whoop everyone’s ass at foosball. Who knew we would be such awesome players? We are thinking of going pro.
Then someone noticed that they had Jell-O shots. Oh, lordy! The thing about Jell-O shots is that they sneak up on you. You can just casually “eat” like six of them and bang! You are drunk. We had such a freaking blast at the Eagle. I can’t wait to go back and kick some more drunken ass.
Next we hit up the Hidden Door. Oh My GaGa, that place was packed. Men everywhere, from fugly to fine and every stop in between. We used to go to the Hidden Door after really late nights in drag. They open at 7 a.m. and sometimes there is nothing better than a beer and a game of pool at dawn to get you tired and ready for bed. Oh, to be young and stupid like that again.
Our final stop was The Ivy. It was cozy and cool. I think. By then I was just about out of gas and starting to see triple. I switched from cocktails to Redbull and chilled for a while. There is seriously nothing better than getting a cute buzz and hanging with the friends that know you well. Friends that are more than friends — they are your family. I don’t know how we got so lucky as to have such a group of idiots and assholes. Weirdos that would drop everything and be there for me if I needed them, and vice versa. So cherish your friends, go out and get drunk with them every chance you get. If you don’t drink, do whatever it is your friends like — knitting or plotting the deaths of your enemies… whatever. On your deathbed, one thing I know you will never regret is spending time with great friends!
Dallas really has lots of places to go for fun. I love our city. We have something for everyone if you are willing to look for it! Now for a different kind of story.
Well, the story starts off kind of the same. It was Memorial Day and we had friends over for BBQ and to hang to out poolside. We had a great time and everyone left early enough that I could get a fabulous little disco nap before my Monday night Freakshow at JR.’s. I never know what to expect on holidays — sometimes we are packed, sometimes we are dead. That night we had a cute crowd. I was looking fabulous. I had on a new dress and gigantic hair. Actually it was three wigs, a base wig with two big and curlies on top. You know, the bigger the hair the smaller I look. Well I looked tiny… shut up.
I started the show doing a little bit of my monologue and fell right the fuck off the stage. Now, the stage at JR.’s is maybe two feet off the ground, but baby! Let me tell you: that is a long way to fall. I’m not sure what happened, as I was not drunk. I had one shot and one shot will not make this big drag queen professional drinker tumble. I blame the new shoes I had on and my inability to judge how far I am from the edge of the stage. Hell, maybe I just took one step too far. The point is I fell… hard. Luckily my butt pads literally cushioned the fall and my super huge hair acted like a helmet, protecting my head, but nothing could shield my fragile ego.
You could have heard a pin drop in the seconds before I got up. A hush came over the entire bar as they waited to see if I was dead. I stood up without my wig on and asked if anyone had gotten that on video. People rushed to my side then to make sure I was OK. I really was, no bruises or soreness the next day, but damn if I didn’t feel stupid.
Luckily my hair stayed perfectly styled, so all I had to do was pop it back on with maybe a little more glue this time. The crowd realized I was OK and it was fine to laugh, and laugh they did. I really kind of wished someone got it on video… I coulda been internet-famous. I coulda been the new meme queen. I fell. I owned it. I moved on.
I got back onstage after I fixed my hair, ready to do my first song and my “hilarious” DJ Matt Hendricks played Alicia Keys — “I Keep on Fallin’” and mixed it so she kept singing “fallin’, fallin’ fallin.’” Then my second song was “Freefalling” by Tom Petty and for my final number, “I’m Going Down” by Mary J. Blige. I’m glad I am not the only person that thinks they are funny.
Not to be out done, my freaks in the show — Raquel Blake, Bleach and Your Highness — all very dramatically fell onstage and lost their wigs. They said if one of us goes down, we all go down. I love those bitches.
Me falling was the subject of the entire night and will probably always be a running joke. If you were there and saw it, you are bonded to me. We shared something stupid and special. You have seen me actually embarrassed and all of you helped me feel better about it. I’ve always said if you own everything you do, then no one can hold anything over your head, ever. I fucking fell off the stage at JR.’s, as graceful as a water buffalo. I’m a little embarrassed but I own that, too. That fall could have easily ruined my night but it turned out to be one I will never forget and actually had a really enjoyed.
Shit happens, make the most of it.
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova.If you have a question or comment, email it to AskCassieNova@gmail.com.
