Hello my lovelies. Y’all already know that the world has gone completely crazy — like full on swinging a bag of cats crazy. The crazy has seeped into every bit of our daily lives so much so that it just seems normal now.
Every day I wake up and think, “What fucked up crazy shit is going on today?” I honestly love a slow news day. Between the “breaking news” and alerts on my phone, I can go from just fine to stressed in a matter of seconds.
I have said before that I have stopped watching the news for my own mental health, and if “he” is on my television, I will change the channel. I’d rather read the bullshit than get it directly from the long-winded fabricator or his yes-men.
I miss truth and accountability.
I want to stop being angry. I want to stop being mad at every single person that chose not to vote because — you know — “It’s Texas; it ain’t gonna matter.”
My gut, head, heart and mouth are filled with the biggest “I told you so’s” that have ever existed, but it would make no difference to say them out loud. Then I would just be adding to the negativity and making the clouds feel darker in this constant thunderstorm of bleakness.
I really hate to even talk about this “political” stuff, but I don’t want anyone to think my silence on one of the many subjects fucking with our community means that I don’t care or don’t want to fight against it. I often feel like I don’t have anything new or smart to add to the argument, so I don’t comment or speak on it.
But trust when I say: I am so fucking angry!
Angry AND scared.
The way the racist, homophobic and transphobic people are coming out of the woodwork to threaten us — and the boldness with which they do it — it scares the piss out of me. “He” has emboldened them to be proud of their hate and fueled them to act upon it.
What lessons are kids learning from this bullshit? That bullying is okay and encouraged?
That certain people are less than? That actions have no real consequences if you are white?
That the laws are just suggestions and nothing to be taken seriously if you are rich?
That one bitchy swipe of the pen can undue all the progress for equality we have made and worked so hard for?
What is it gonna take before we all say enough is enough? Are we all going to give into the dark side out of fear of what will happen to us if we don’t? Remember having hope? God, I miss Obama.
See how easy it was for me to fall into that rabbit hole of despair and resentment. It’s always right there, under the surface, waiting to hulk out and ruin your day.
So, let’s make a conscience decision to be positive today and find reasons to smile. C’mon we can do it. I can do it.
My dog Benji just heard me clacking away angrily on this keyboard and came over and licked my leg. He then put his head against my leg and insisted on snuggles. That really made me smile. Now he is laying across my feet, letting me know that he is there, and I should calm the fuck down.
It is working. He is a good boy.
Lady Gaga has a fabulous new album. It’s so good. My young’un Bleach told me about the Lady Gaga album release party she hosted at Crush last week and how it became emotional for her. She was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and connection every person in the room had for Gaga, and it felt unifying.
This album is exactly what the world needs right now. It is what our community, in particular, needs right now. Even if you are not a huge Gaga fan, you can feel the love and energy in the club or bar anytime her music is played.
The memories I have of when Lady Gaga performed on the Rose Room stage will always make me smile and fill my heart. She was genuine and kind in the most badass way possible. Her dancers just oozed queer hotness.
She performed “Born This Way” at our club and at Round-Up when her song was number one on the charts. She was amazing.
I have a photo taken from the side of the stage that has her and her dancers killing it, and — right behind them, on the other side of the stage, peeking through the curtain — is a gaggle of starstruck gays. My hand is over my mouth in complete stunned bliss. Next to me is my husband and a bunch of my favorite people smiling so big that we all looked crazy.
It is such a great photo and a great memory. That really makes me smile.
That night was Gaga’s second time to perform in the Rose Room. The first time was right before she hit it big, and I remember a group of adorable little gays swarming the stage while she performed. She did “Just Dance” with the sunglasses that were little TV monitors that scrolled between flashing the word “Ga Ga” and different shapes. It looked so cool.
Then she pulled out a long case that was obviously custom made for the glowing; crystal covered “disco stick” as she performed “Love Game.”
I was an immediate fan.
A few weeks later, it seemed like she was everywhere. She performed on So You Think You Can Dance, Jimmy Kimmel, The Tonight Show and American Idol. And every time I saw her, I was like, “She’s so cool, and I got to kiki with her! We are basically best friends!”
I will always be a preacher of all things Gaga. She brings us together like nobody else, and I love her for that.
Find a reason to smile today. Force it if ya gotta, but don’t let the bad outweigh the good. We need your gay powers at full strength, so stay strong Bitch!
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova