Subaru WRX, top left and the BMW 240i above right.
Compare the BMW 240i and the Subaru WRX to see how you prefer your fast chariot
CASEY WILLIAMS | Auto Reviewer
AutoCasey@aol.com
Only in an alternate universe would the all-new Subaru WRX seem, femme with its bulging hood, wide wheels and rolling thunder exhaust note. Subtle it is not. But compared to the swaggering BMW M240i, the WRX a sprinter among linebackers. Welcome to your alternate universe where this suave guy can lay down power and look smooth doing it.
See which you prefer.
Pantone delights
WRX: You can get the WRX in Subaru’s rally hue of WR Blue, but you’ll get noticed most when it wears Solar Orange Pearl. Lick it like a dreamsicle. M240i: It looks plum crazy in Thundernight Metallic. That sounds mysterious, but is just plain purple to the straight boys looking to have their grapes popped.
Nose Job
WRX: That hood scoop sucks air into the turbo so you can blow way pretenders. Subaru’s trademark grille and squinty headlamps promise bravery and bedlam. M240i: Wide nostrils, bulging hood and angry chin spoiler indicate this one may bite. It’s a far prettier sight than the tall-nosed 3- and 4-Series Bimmers.
Power Surge
WRX: Get busy with the turbocharged 2.4-liter four-cylinder engine that caresses a snick-snick six-speed manual transmission. The pair dishes out a peppy 271 horsepower, but working the clutch substitutes for leg days. M240i: He may be a little short in the trousers but throttles a thick 382hp from a 3.0-liter turbocharged Inline-6 twirling an 8-speed auto. Employ launch control and whip it with paddles if you please.
Celebrity Doppelganger
WRX: T. J. Osborne. Beyond his sexy body and deep country voice, he looks like he could handle a good romp in the woods with his cute little boyfriend. M240i: Carl Nassib. The Raiders heartthrob is no citified club queen but uses fast muscles to shuffle his balls.
Favorite Run
WRX: There’s a reason the WRX looks like a Civic in drag. She loves long gravel roads where she can power through corners, throwing rocks — and shade — in all directions. M240i: Those wheels and aero affects aren’t just for bling. Give it miles of wide-open Autobahn where it can reach for the horizon as smooth and stable as Oprah’s jet.
Tasty Treat
WRX: Looks like it would use its torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive to run down The Roadrunner and beat Wylie to his feast. Beep, beep, bitches. M240i: Would use X-Drive with corner control to knock down a Wagyu and drop it at the butcher for a final filet. A – Moo!
Fancy Tech
WRX: Its favorite toy is the new tablet-style touchscreen that connects devices through Apple CarPlay. Safety is amped with automatic emergency braking, adaptive cruise and rear seat child minder. M240i: It still has the bewildering iDrive infotainment system, but you can swipe the screen if you prefer. Sweet cherubs sing through Harman Kardon audio, devices vamp wireless charging and a heads-up display keeps fast eyes ahead.
Hot Seats
WRX: Seats are cloth, but they’re heated up front. Snuggle in for a deep cornering cuddle from the grippy side bolsters. M240i: Buckets are made from vegan leather and heated to suit. Extendable lower cushions and a heated steering wheel make sure all your digits get attention.
Thirsty Daddies
WRX: Gets 19/26-MPG city/hwy. It looks like a tyke in track shoes, but drinks like a lumberjack knocking back a few trees. M240i: I’d imagine this coupe chugging fine bourbon during all-night benders, but it’s is clearly on the wagon getting 23/32-MPG city/hwy.
Comparing Stickers
WRX: $29,605. You think it is going to cost like Neiman Marcus, but is closer to hipster mecca Target. M240i: $48,550. It’s closer to Neiman Marcus than Target, but a long way from diamond-encrusted Tiffany.
Storm forward!
Send comments to Casey at AutoCasey@aol.com; follow him on YouTube @AutoCasey.
