From the moment I heard of Charlie Kirk’s murder, I knew what I wanted to write. And I knew it could only be written by me.
For 56 years I’ve debated people like Charlie Kirk. I’ve been called every name imaginable on live TV, in front of city councils and at nonviolent protests. I was once asked by a Philadelphia elected official if I “did it with parakeets.”
I’ve been punched, spit on and threatened with death — one letter from the KKK, saying that I’d been placed on their hit list, is now part of my collection at the Smithsonian.
But through it all, I’ve never wavered on one truth: Murder is never the answer.
I despise violence, even when it’s directed at bigots.
Charlie Kirk was nasty, hateful and skilled at manipulating conservatives and the media. He thrived on outrage. In my newsroom days, we called such people “media whores.”
Over the years, he claimed women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, that Martin Luther King wasn’t a good man, and that the Bible’s call to stone homosexuals was “God’s perfect law.” Stoning meant death.
Charlie Kirk was a man of hate. But that does not mean he deserved to be murdered.
Throughout my life, I’ve met and spoken with people considered homophobic. Some hurled insults at me, some used hate speech to my face. But I kept talking with them. Many in our community still don’t appreciate that this dialogue — with people who hate us — is sometimes necessary. They think you shouldn’t talk to those who disagree with us.
But history proves otherwise.
During the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, ACT UP’s rallying cry was “Act Up, Fight Back.” That meant civil disobedience, and it meant creating dialogue until people understood. You won’t reach everyone; but you will reach someone. And change starts one person at a time.
Violence has no place in our movement. My own life has shown that civil disobedience and conversation can create real change. Through communication, I’ve seen people go from opponents to supporters of our community.
Talk takes time. A bullet takes a second. Talk can lead to change; a bullet only hardens hate.
Charlie Kirk and Donald Trump built their followings by speaking to people who felt silenced or bullied for their opinions. That frustration grows when there’s no dialogue.
You can despise the positions Charlie Kirk held. You can call out the poison in his words. But his murder should not be cheered. Nor should the right wing turn him into a martyr.
Instead, his death should be a moment to educate, to reach those who think like him and to remind ourselves: We fight hate with truth, courage and persistence, not with bullets. n
Mark Segal is the founder and publisher of Philadelphia Gay News and has won numerous journalism awards for his column “Mark My Words.”