To be outed once sent careers plummeting, but a new attitude is pushing people to come out amid embraces and cheers of support
Tyler Curry
Tyler Curry | Contributing Writer
Not long ago, some members of the LGBT community thought it was the ultimate sin to out someone. It didn’t matter if the outing was of someone famous and drew national attention or if the information was leaked only to an outed person’s family, broadcasting those private details damaged his or her life. Knowing the destruction outing causes, the community often responded angrily, heaping its outrage on those responsible for the outing and usually drawing the attention away from the outed person.
Today, though, it’s a new ball game. Society is evolving on gay issues, and the understood statutes that regulated all things “out” have changed. The definition of what it means to be gay is changing — and so have the ramifications of coming out, of outing someone and publicly opposing gay men and women.
Coming out
For some of us, coming out was more of an inevitability and less of an option, but for others, the leap to the waters outside the closet’s shores was daunting. When Ellen DeGeneres came out in 1997, withering criticism beat her down, although supporters did rally around her. Not long after, ABC canceled her TV show, Ellen. Fearful of the same treatment, other gay celebrities quietly closed their closet doors and were careful not to appear on anyone’s radar.
But almost two decades later, a more enlightened and accepting audience has made shows like Modern Family a hit. Ellen, who many predicted no longer had a TV career, again has a top-rated show and the awards that go with it. Cam and Mitch, the married gay couple in Modern Family, putter through activities that define the lives of most suburbanites, showing the world that gay and married couples really do have a lot in common. And the walls continue to crumble, bringing the closet doors down with them.
It seems as though celebrities come out of the closet weekly and are praised for their honesty. Russia’s draconian anti-gay laws have motivated sports figures to come out and the out ones to lace up. Allies are standing beside them, ready to march into the Sochi Olympics to defy Vladimir Putin’s homophobia. Just this week, a former German soccer star, Thomas Hitzlsperger, came out amid strong support. The times are a-changing.
It might be argued that coming out also can boost a career or ratings. When Good Morning America anchor Robin Roberts recently came out, her network rallied around her, and you’d be hard pressed to find any negative comments that were hurled her way. There were only cheers. No doubt, people abandoned the other morning shows, if only for a couple of days, to hear what Roberts had to say.
Being outed
Fortunately for Roberts, Hitzlsperger and the others who have come out recently, attitudes have changed. A decade ago, the revelation of Roberts’ private life with her girlfriend would probably have ruined her career. She might as well have taken a gun and fired a round into it. In those days, being outed destroyed lives, relationships and isolated people.
For that reason, celebrities vehemently denied being gay when the spotlight caught them. Think Tom Cruise. The accusations usually elicited anger from the celebrities, politicians and athletes — and from their camps. Our quarterback gay? No way.
As for those who spread the rumors, they were considered to be scum for making the horrid allegations. Both the straight and the gay communities shared in the contempt for anyone who tried to make someone’s private bedroom a public issue.
Today, though, it’s a different attitude. The threat of ruination when outed is greatly diminished, if not routed. As an example, some celebrities, in an about face, now see the once abhorrent accusation as a compliment. Jake Gyllenhaal, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Kelly Clarkson, to name a few, only smile when their orientation is questioned.
Even the act of outing, once anathema, is now looked at differently. When CBS contributor Itay Hod indirectly outed GOP Congressman Aaron Schock, many people thought it was about time Schock got his comeuppance. He’s made a career out of promoting the conservative, anti-gay agenda. In fact, his Human Rights Campaign rating is a whopping zero, all the while allegedly engaging in the behavior he publicly condemned.
As for Hod, people are heralding him for exposing the hypocritical congressman and serving up a bit of justice. True, there are some who question the morality of outing someone against his or her will, but one thing is certain — neither the exposer nor the exposed is subjected to the witch hunt of earlier years.
You say you’re against us?
In previous presidential campaigns, politicians proudly boasted of their pro-family values and their anti-gay voting records. They whipped up the emotions of their conservative base, and once in office, pushed legislation that eliminated or limited equal rights for gay men and women.
We were clearly aware some people didn’t much like us.
But during the last decade, the fight for equality has tipped the scales, and the majority of Americans now support the rights of gay men and women. Many politicians now run away from gay issues as fast as a gay man runs toward an open bar at a Cher concert.
Liz Chaney, the daughter of former Vice President Dick Chenery, recently switched her public opinion on gay marriage and again opposed the equal rights of gay men and women in Wyoming where she was running for the U.S Senate. She most likely thought she was safely tucked away in her conservative, rural demographic.
However, Liz’s out sister, Mary Chaney, censured the flagrant attempt to pander to the conservative base. Liz was met with an onslaught of criticism across the news stations, and her reputation took a hit. It’s uncertain whether her anti-gay stance was the cause of it, but Liz Chaney recently withdrew her bid for the Senate.
Our adversaries still muster a good deal of energy in fighting our movement, but there is much evidence to show that acceptance for gay men and women is on the rise. The increased visibility of gays on television and in the sporting arenas is proof of it. Our legislative halls echo with the voices of elected gay politicians who push for measures that will bring equality to all Americans. And, thankfully, those equal rights extinguish the fear and anxiety that makes coming out a nightmare.
Although us gays love our closets, none of us deserve to live in them.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 10, 2014.
