Admit it: You watch The Real Housewives because you see yourself in those characters. Are you kept by a “big papa” like Kim? A crazy, in-your-face bitch like NeNe? A big-haired, table-up-ending psycho like Teresa? Or maybe you crashed a White House party. Only you could do it better and be fabulous at the same time. And with more product in your hair.
Well, now’s your chance.
As Logo’s The A-List: New York winds down its popular inaugural season, the company that produces it is expanding its franchise a la the Housewives. That means new cities, and first among them: Dallas. (Los Angeles is also casting.)
If you want to be the new Reichen (although, let’s face it: You’re probably more an Austin), you can go to TheAListCasting.com and fill out a questionnaire. Casting agents will then be in town from Dec. 6 through 23 doing on-site interviews to find the gays they want to follow for a few months.
Here are some of the questions you get to answer (and some suggested responses guaranteed to get you noticed):
• “Have you ever been arrested?” (Answer: It’s not that I was arrested — it’s what I did for the arresting officer in the squad car that got my record cleared) …
• “What does your significant other do for a living?” (Trust me: Being my significant other is a full-time job) …
• “Are you sexually active?” (No, I just lie there) …
• “Are you trying to have children!” (Yes! I’ve been fucking my boyfriend daily for a year but he’s still not pregnant … too bad I went to public school in Texas and didn’t get decent sex ed) …
• “Why do you think you are A-List?” (I’m self-absorbed and shallow, and gossip constantly about others while failing to see those same traits in myself … Why? What have you heard?)
We have a weiner! See ya on TV!
I’m in the final stages of being cast!! They’ve asked me to fill in the rest of the cast. The money is amazing. In going to be famous!!!!