Today is the first day of spring and it snowed in Dallas. Again. Some areas had as much as 5″. And I know why.
Homosexuals.
In 2001, my good buddy Jerry Falwell blamed lesbians, gays and others for Sept. 11. Falwell said:
“I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say “you helped this happen.”
By choosing Ellen Degeneres to host the Emmy Awards, Pat Robertson blamed the New Orleans native for Hurricane Katrina:
“By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath.”
James Hartline, a convicted felon turned evangelist, blamed torrential rains in Southern California as God’s special punishment against San Diego for hosting an LGBT pride conference.
Scott Lively of Abiding Truth Ministries blamed gays for the genocide in Rwanda. Lively is one of the instigators of the Uganda genocide bill.
So I’m in good company. I’m blaming all the snow in Dallas this winter on homosexuals. What other explanation can there be? Global climate change? Not proven. Only 98 percent of scientists believe the evidence. Just something that happens every once in awhile? I’ve lived in Dallas for 30 years and it’s never happened since I’ve been here and I only believe that what I’ve seen where I am at this moment is what can’t be blamed on homosexuals.
But in the tradition of “blame the homosexual,” a specific person or event needs to be specifically cited. Any suggestions?
Rafael McDonnell of Resource Center Dallas just contacted me on Facebook with the definitive answer. Texas Bear Round Up, in town this weekend, set a record for attendance. They are to blame for the snow. The previous, record-setting snow followed Creating Change in Dallas by five days.
I thought it was all those Craigslist ads for guys wanting to play in the snow…
Damn TBRU. I just new we’d have some sort of natural disaster. A snow storm.
Since it has get out and enjoy it.
I agree with Mike, it’s the bears!
Hey,That’s not fair-I live about 3 miles from The Castro in S.F.,and I have NEVER seen any snow here-what the heck? Come on now- work harder-I want snow in San Francisco in the Spring-Ok if I put my order in,now-lol…