A transgender teen talks about life in small town Texas and the need to be
EDITOR’S NOTE: The following essay was written by J, a trans-masc student at a Breckinridge, Texas, high school in teacher Jed Cottle’s history class. Students were asked to write an essay on a contemporary global issue such as LGBTQ issues, mental health issues, school safety and so on. Cottle provided this essay to Dallas Voice with the permission of the student. The essay has been edited for space.
For years I have wondered why, as a society, we have decided that people are not allowed to happily live their lives without facing criticism, prejudice and discrimination — especially when it comes to minorities such as the LGBTQIA+ group as a whole.
As someone who is part of this very diverse group, it is taxing to deal with such immeasurable amounts of hate every day, both in real life and online. In this essay I’ll be sharing some statistics and first-hand experience that should educate you on these important issues. I’d first like to address that in no way am I trying to “force an agenda,” tell kids to be gay, or GROOM children.
Gay and trans people are not new. We have existed since the dawn of humanity. Being homophobic doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “afraid” of gay people, it means you dislike them enough that you are discriminatory towards them. These are all rather ignorant but extremely common misconceptions.
As a child, I was taught to accept and care for everyone, and had little to no knowledge of the gay community. As I grew older and I started questioning my identity, I began learning more and becoming more aware about what exactly the meaning of queerness is. I have decided I identify as bisexual and nonbinary with he/they pronouns.
Sexuality is a spectrum; you don’t have to label these feelings as strictly anything. As for the gender spectrum (the “TI and +” of the acronym), again, there are many identities, labels and such that are used by real people.
Gender is a social construct; that being so, there is no right or wrong way to express it. Studies show that multiple groups/cultures, such as Samoans and Native Americans, have a third and even fourth gender, and have for thousands of years before colonization. To ignore this history and say there are only two genders is just ridiculous and dismissive.
Transgender people are not contagious; it’s not a disease, and it’s not “mental illness.” It feels as if you don’t connect or resonate with the body you were given. It’s not them being “ungrateful” for the body they were given. It’s how they’re wired. It’s proven in multiple studies that transgender people’s brains function very similarly if not the same as the gender they resonate with. If this isn’t enough to show that trans identities are valid, I don’t know what is.
As for pronouns, these are not new either. You are taught basic pronouns in school and will use them for the rest of your life. They’re used to refer to people, which is why several people will tell you what they like to be referred to when you interact with them socially. Also, pronouns do not equal gender. Just because I use he/they pronouns despite being born a female, does not mean I am fully trans and want to completely transition as of right now. They’re merely what I like to be referred to as.
It is what I am comfortable with.
That’s really all the queer community is asking — to be comfortable with who they are without being judged or killed for it. Just like everyone else.
These explanations can be a lot to process and take in, and in no way do I expect everyone to fully understand every detail. It’s okay to make mistakes. Correct yourself and move on. Just respecting our identities is enough, usually validating and life saving more often than not.
If you still don’t understand or care, that’s fine. Just ignore it and move on without saying derogatory things. That is unnecessary. People aren’t “becoming more gay,” we’re just finally getting the recognition and representation we’ve never really had.
Now I want to speak on the people who are hateful “because of their religion” (mainly Christianity and Catholicism). Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, am I right?
You are free to practice your religion if it is important to you, but that does not mean everyone follows your practices.
In fact, there is a word in the bible that was mistranslated and used to spread homophobia. According to a 2019 article featuring Ed Oxford, the word ”arsenokoitai” shows up in two different verses, but was not translated incorrectly until 1946. With the help of his German friend, they discovered that in Leviticus 18:22, while the English bible says “Man shall not lie with man, for it is an abomination,” an 1800s era German bible was translated to “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination.” The same mistranslation was in Leviticus 20:13.
You cannot force someone to follow your religious beliefs. It’s the first part of the Constitution; yet another piece of literature bigots refer to every chance they get. You cannot say you are a loving Christian who does no wrong if you tell every gay person you encounter to go to hell. This mindset is often taught through generations, and can be hard to unlearn, but it’s possible.
While on the topic of generations, let me mention the difference older and younger generations who identify as LGBTQIA+. As I’m sure you can imagine, the older generations are less open to this concept, due to possible generational trauma, past laws, internalized homophobia or just plain homophobia.
According to research, the percentage of U.S. adults that identify as LGBTQ has reached a new high of 7.2 percent — double what it was a decade ago. Numbers are highest for Gen Z (19.7 percent), followed by millennials (11.2 percent), followed by gen x (3.3 percent).
These statistics speak volumes. LGBTQ+ kids are often disowned from their families for coming out to their own parents — not to mention queer kids who are forced to hide their identities for fear of being kicked out or put into conversion therapy. It’s absurd that the people who are supposed to care for their child no matter what put them at even greater risk of growing up to have a troubled life, or evidently thinking the only solution is to commit.
The LGBTQ+ suicide rates are heartbreaking. People will be themselves when you stop punishing them for it.
Regarding slurs and derogatory and hurtful language used against and within the community: I won’t be listing any; you can look those up on your own if you so please. However, if you’ve grown up in a small southern town, you’re most likely familiar with at least a few. To state it plainly: There is NO need for you to say a slur that has or hasn’t been reclaimed by a group you do not belong in. Again, if the slur has not been used to target you because of your race, nationality, disability, or identity in any way, you should not be saying it. This goes for any slur used against minorities. If you can read and comprehend this paper, then you are old enough to know better.
Equally if not more important is the political side of this discourse. If you haven’t heard, the government has finally begun addressing trans rights, in the completely wrong way. There are hundreds upon hundreds of anti-trans bills being proposed and even accepted across at least 45 states. Many of them concern trans healthcare, such as hormone therapy, gender affirming surgeries, facial feminization and masculinization surgery, etc. But what many don’t realize is that these same measures will also prohibit these hormones and surgeries that are used by many cisgender people. Men take testosterone to enhance their progress in the gym; women use hormone replacement therapy to balance menopausal symptoms. People have plastic surgery all the time.
My last point is about being comfortable with your sexuality, which simply means not letting people who express themselves freely affect your own image of yourself.
You don’t ever have to conform to the gender binary, but if that’s what’s right for you, go ahead! Your identity is yours to discover.
A man can put on a dress and nail polish then go spend time with his wife and kids. A woman can grow her leg or armpit hair and go watch the sunset with her girlfriend. There is no right or wrong way of expressing yourself. The only important thing is being both comfortable and confident enough in yourself to not put others down for being who they are.
If you don’t remember anything from this, remember this: Queer people always have existed and will continue to exist, whether you like it or not. So get over it.