Stabile fell victim to ‘Purity Siege’ on Cedar Springs strip 2 years ago
They what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. And so it seems for former "homosexual sinner" James Stabile, who’s still proud to be "out" in Oak Lawn and has announced his new ex-ex-gay organization, Love Actually.
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James Stabile |
In May 2007, when he was 19, Stabile was caught up in the "I-35 Light the Highways" Christian intercessory movement. He says his Methodist and Catholic church upbringing had taught him that everything homosexual was a sin, that he was a sinner, and that he would burn in "the lake of fire" if he didn’t change his ways.
So when he was approached one night during a "Purity Siege" on the Cedar Springs strip, he was susceptible to feeling the "fire" of religious indoctrination.
He didn’t have a prayer in the world of standing up to a team of seasoned intercessors.
The Light the Highways movement was kicked off by Cindy Jacobs, a "prophet" of Generals International. The group’s only listed location is a post office box in Red Oak, near Waxahachie. The national I-35 movement called for churches from Laredo to Duluth, Minn., to pray, evangelize and intercede all along the I-35 corridor, for 35 days, based upon a biblical verse in the 35th chapter of Isaiah.
Pastor Steve Hill of Heartland World Ministries Church in Las Colinas was the lead "radical evangelist" for the mission, and it was Hill’s group who approached Stabile, then at a low point in his life, and prayed for his soul.
Stabile says he thought he was going to hell for his sins.
He’d been "whoring himself out" in Oak Lawn at the time, and when he was approached by the intercession team, they asked if he was "pure."
Stabile said no and they led him to believe it was because he was gay.
Stabile says he realized later that he would have been engaging in the same sexual behavior had he been straight, but at the time, he believed them. He didn’t want to be "gay anymore" and didn’t want to "feel dirty."
So he agreed to attend reparative therapy at Pure Life Ministries, located along the Dixie Highway in Dry Ridge, Ky.
Pure Life’s Web site states it is "on the front lines rescuing souls" and "setting men free" from their sexual addictions. They outwardly condemn homosexuality and gay churches, including the Cathedral of Hope, where Stabile says he has now found salvation and "God’s love."
Along with 45 other men, Stabile says he spent more than three "horrible" months in the conversion therapy program at Pure Life, until they finally kicked him out for being an "unteachable spirit."
"They teach you to hate yourself," Stabile recounts, "and you think everyone else must hate you, too. … I had turned my back on who I was."
Calls to Pure Life seeking comment for this article were not returned. But Steve Gallagher, founder and president of Pure Life, has written, "People who have a bent towards homosexuality must resist those desires which come out of their lower nature, repent of their sin, and commit themselves to living in obedience to God’s Word."
Earlier this month, the American Psychological Association released a statement reaffirming its position that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and advising mental health professionals to "avoid telling clients that they can change their sexual orientation through therapy or other treatments."
Stabile says he felt trapped at Pure Life, and that they would not let him leave. He says in order to get expelled from the program, he and another young man staged a kiss in their support group.
"We couldn’t leave, so we made out in our therapy session to get kicked out," he says. "They held you there by force … in the middle of nowhere."
But he came out of the experience as a stronger person. "I am a straight camp survivor," he says, "and I’m proud to be gay now."
Stabile found spiritual support at Cathedral of Hope and says that he owes his life to the congregation. He says it was at CoH that he realized God loved him and that he loved God.
Gallagher has a different take on the church billed as the largest primarily congregation in the world. Gallagher says "homosexual churches" including "Cathedral of Hope" and "Metropolitan Community Church" are growing at an "alarming rate."
The Rev. Michael Piazza, dean of the Cathedral, says although Metropolitan Community Churches, an international denomination of LGBT congregations, isn’t showing growth right now, the number of LGBT-friendly and LGBT-affirming churches is growing at a steady rate.
Cathedral of Hope started in 1970 as the Metropolitan Community Church of Dallas. The church disaffiliated from MCC in 2003 and in 2006 was accepted into the United Church of Christ, a liberal denomination that was the first mainstream denomination to support legalizing same-sex marriage.
"A glance at the organizational directory of the Dallas Voice shows clearly that there are more and more places where we are welcome," Piazza said. "The Episcopal Church now permits it [same-sex marriage], and it appears the Lutherans are about to join us. This is a train that has left the station and cannot be stopped. Mr. Gallagher needs to be alarmed because the lie he stands for is being increasingly exposed."
Stabile says the strong spiritual support he found at CoH made him realize it was time for him to give back. And he decided he could do that by helping fill the need for a place that ex-ex gay people "can come to and know they are not alone, that they are loved and loved by God."
That led to Stabile’s recent announcement of the formation of Love Actually during the inaugural meeting of the North Texas LGBTQA Coalition, held on June 20.
Stabile says he had started out looking for an already-established local organization for other survivors of reparative therapy. But he came up empty-handed.
"I thought, there has to be a place you can go if you have been in straight camp," he says. "Somewhere you can be brought back into who you are and feel loved."
It was an experience he really needed because, although Stabile identifies as gay, he says he felt like he didn’t quite fit in with the community after his experiences in reparative therapy, and after announcing he was straight on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s "The 700 Club."
"I didn’t feel like I fit in the gay community, but I was not straight," he said.
He says he found an online home at BeyondExGay.com, where he first started to realize he was not alone, that there are many others like him who’ve been through the same process and "came out gay all over."
"Love Actually is a place people can come to and know they are not alone, they are loved and loved by God," Stabile says.
At COH, he says he "experienced so much love and grace I finally realized that the only person that didn’t love me is me. … I thought if God loves me and gay people love me, then I can help others in the same place."
Stabile feels that forming the group is a sp
iritual calling.
"If I didn’t feel a calling, I wouldn’t do this," he says. "I created Love Actually to share that God wants to love you."
That is a message, he says, that many LGBT people need to hear, especially those who grew up in conservative religious homes and have been "brainwashed" into thinking being gay condemns them to hell.
Stabile says he tried to become straight at Pure Life by repeating affirmations such as "In the name of Jesus, I am straight." But it didn’t work.
He also says that Pure Life told him the devil was in him in the form of homosexuality and that he was a sex addict.
But Stabile says that one night while out walking on a ridge and praying, he heard a voice as clear as a bell, that told him otherwise: "God," he asked, "Am I gonna be straight?"
The reply he heard: "No, I made you the way you are. You can suppress who you are, but you’ll never be straight."
For Stabile, this was a spiritual "aha" moment when he was finally able to come to grips with who he was, to honor himself and recognize he was not going to "burn in hell."
With Love Actually, Stabile hopes to help others come to the conclusion that being gay is not a choice. He hopes to encourage others to accept themselves as they are.
Pastor Colleen Darraugh of MCC of Greater Dallas agrees.
"We believe that our sexuality and our spirituality are both created by God and are gifts of God. When we accept who we are, who God made us to be, we are able to integrate our being and step into healing and wholeness in our lives and relationships," she says.
Stabile concludes that it is all about loving unconditionally. He promises that with just a little love, he "can convince people that they definitely don’t want to go to straight camp."
For more information on Love Actually e-mail Stabile at jmstabile88@yahoo.com.
Renee Baker is a licensed massage therapist and transgender diversity consultant. She can be reached online at www.ReneeBaker.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 14, 2009.
as a former ex-gay myself i’ve wondered why there wasn’t a support group for people like james and myself. even after leaving the group the baggage can weigh you down. i’m glad to see this young man stepping up and trying to help others that have been through what he has been through. after reading his story and following him in the press for the last couple of years i’m filled with admiration when seeing him take these steps.
I wonder if they are part of the same group that was on Cedar Springs last year that was telling me I was molested by an uncle or my father and that turned me gay. LOL, they are crazy! HAHAHA! I don’t have any hot uncles and my dad is old! EWE!
BRAVO JAMES!!! I started the “Save Bryce” campaign because of stories just like yours. While we are still looking for Bryce, it is a glory to see you have made it from the darkness of condemnation into the light of love! Praise God that you found Gods’ love more welcoming then Fundamentalist rhetoric. I wish you much success with your new organization.
Im sure glad that Im a buddist because being gay isnt a sin. Not being true to yourself is.
WOW Keep up the good work man, the church i go to tells u it is a sin and i am going to hell i have been in trying to stop being gay but is impossible, and i am almost 40 glad u are helping people to keep them from years of hating them selves
If Pure Life forces people to stay there, this needs to be reported to the authorities.
If Pure Life forces people to stay there, this needs to be reported to the authorities.
I spent 4 years in couseling with church clergy and psychiatrists trying to “pray away the gay”. It did nothing but make me feel inadequate as a person. Inferior because I couldn’t live up to the expections of my family and my church. You can try and ignore the feelings, but they are still there. You can lie to yourself and everyone else, even force yourself to lead a hetero lifestyle, but it’s just that, a lie. It does nothing but lead you down a road of dispair and suicidal thoughts. Thirty plus years later it still affects the person I am today. I did not have the support for me that is waiting Bryce. I hope he is able to deliver himself from that place and into the arms of a community that loves him as he is. Keep up the good work James.
Actually, there already exists an online support group for ex-gay survivors and it’s called Beyond Ex-Gay (<a href=”https://www.beyondexgay.com”>beyondexgay.com</a>). They have all kinds of resources, help, and are starting an online forum community as well. I think they have been around about 2 or 3 years.
Darcey, I am so glad you mentioned Beyond Ex-Gay! They helped me so much when I first came out of the ex-gay program I attended. I went to their conference in Irvine, CA in 2007 and met a bunch of other ex-gay survivors. They’ve had other meet-ups around the country since and will have their next one in Nov in FL.
I am glad something local is happening in the Dallas area, although I am not interested in one that is religious-based. One thing I like about the Beyond Ex-Gay group is that is welcomes all sorts of people. There are lots of Christians but many of us are no longer Christian after being ex-gay and have found other ways that we are happy about. Sometimes gay Christians can push their own agenda that I find obnoxious. In looking for help from religious-based abuse, I don’t really want more religion.
duh,I now see that James mentions Beyond Ex-Gay above. Cool, so glad he found it helpful. I am so glad there are so many people on the web talking about their time being ex-gay and how awful it was. There is a lot of YouTube now.
I think the conference in November is going to be really good. It helps me a lot to connect with other people who have also been through the ex-gay thing. Lots of gay people who haven’t been there don’t quite understand how difficult it can be to recover.
Mike Piazza of the Cathedral of Hope is a liar. UCC only “welcomes gays and lesbians,” they still make it “wrong, sinful and deviant.” Check the official doctrine of UCC.
It makes little difference if a few churches in the US welcome gays (only 3,400 of 350,000 or less than 1%) while still making it “wrong” to be homosexual. If these Churches wanted to make some REAL progress they would officially say “homosexuality is NOT WRONG” and place that statement in their public files. So far, they haven’t.
Where’s the Declaration Mike?
When I first came out here in Dallas, I went to the Cathedral of Hope for a long time. I thought I had found a home, where I could embrace myself honestly and completely, both my spirituality and my homosexuality. But CoH isn’t what they say they are. Yes, they welcome you in, and they make you feel at home, and every once in a while they hang a rainbow flag and it seems like this is a place where you aren’t a sinner anymore.
But they haven’t gone that far. They emphasize Jesus’s love, but they don’t change the doctrine or the scripture that says, in no uncertain terms, that we are deviants who should be put to death. Without making that formal declaration, they aren’t any different from the Baptists who want you to pray really hard to make up for your sins. CoH just keeps it quiet.
If their dedication to the LGBT community were really as strong as they try to say, then that formal, official statement would be easy to find. But it’s nowhere.
Once I realized that, I couldn’t keep going, even if they welcomed me, and even if once or twice a year they have a sermon that is somehow loosely related to our struggles as a community. If they don’t truly, 100% support me, then there’s no way I can support them.
This is truly a wonderful article!
I grew up in the Southern Baptist denomination. Because of my religious upbringing, I hated myself for the feelings I had. For as long as I can remember, I prayed daily from the time I was a teenager to age 36 that God would change me so I could be attracted to the opposite gender and be like everyone else.
In 1997, after much prayer, God revealed to me that He knew me before I was born, I am His creation, my sexual orientation is a basic part of who I am, and it is good to love someone and be loved by someone according to their sexual orientation.
God led me to the Cathedral of Hope in 1997. This church changed my life and I have enjoyed going there ever since. I have made many friends there – mostly gay and some who are straight. The fellowship there has been so wonderful for me and others.
In the 12 years I have attended Cathedral of Hope, I have witnessed thousands of people who felt God’s love for the first time. I’ve watched hundreds of new members bring their families to experience worship on Sunday mornings and witnessed the tears of joy on their cheeks after we sing It Is Well following Communion. It is so moving for me to witness a ministry that lives and reflects God’s unconditional love for everyone. I have watched so many people, including myself, grow spiritually and personally thanks to the ministry and worship experience of Cathedral of Hope.
Like Mr. Stabile, I also owe my life to Cathedral of Hope and I thank God every day for leading me there. I applaud Mr. Stabile’s efforts and wish him the best.
Michael Bell,
Cathedral of Hope Orchestra Volunteer
Michael B: Check the fine print – COH still makes homosexuality wrong, sinful and deviant. You belong to a club that has used you for marketing purposes.
Ask for the official declaration that COH or the Franchisor United Church of Christ has actually changed their doctrine.
COH isn’t progress, it’s marketing.
The Cathedral of Hope’s website says:
“It’s Okay to be Gay because
God Loves You Just the Way You Are!”
or read:
https://www.cathedralofhope.com/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=225&srcid=305
or Rev. Michael Piazza’s book – “Gay by God”
or listen to any of the thousands of sermons that I have been preached about this over the years.
90% of their members are gay…do you expect African American Churches to publish declarations that it is OK to be black?
See the thousands of articles where they call themselves “The world’s largest gay and lesbian church.”
Please… you may not like the Cathedral but them not being “pro-gay” is jut plain dumb.
As for the UCC try here:
https://www.ucc.org/lgbt/
See if you can find that page on any other mainline denomination’s website.
Andrew,
You obviously know very, very little about the United Church of Christ. It ordained its first gay minister in the early 1970s and has been performing gay marriages since the early 1980s. It is widely considered to be the most progressive denomination in the United States. It is closely related to Unitarian-Universalism and created universities such as Harvard, Yale, and Dartmouth.
I attend a UCC congregation here in California. Our minister is openly lesbian as were the minsters we had before her. Our congregation marches in the local gay pride parade every year. In fact, we are the only local organization that has participated in our local gay pride since its inception in 1973. We have married over 500 LGBT couples in our church.
Please do some research before you make accusations about the UCC.
Thanks!
WOW!! God is doing some amazing things in the Gay community i cant wait to see what else he will do… if we continue to educate and spread the work things WILL continue to change!!!
andrew, this is directly from the UCC site:
In developing the ONA (Open & Affirming) policies and programs, careful consideration has been given to the biblical tradition, but there has not been a literal approach to the interpretation of scripture. Rather, a critical method of biblical study has been engaged, which takes into account the language, context, culture and other important exegetical methods employed to discern the meanings of the texts and their implications for contemporary life.
There is a significant and growing consensus among biblical scholars about the few biblical texts that are often referenced as the basis for condemning same-gender loving people of God. Contemporary biblical scholarship argues strongly against this condemnation and finds a much more significant Gospel message that supports the inclusion of LGBT persons into the full life and mission of the church. An example of the biblical scholarship concerning homosexuality and scripture is an article by Rev. Dr. Walter Wink (Professor of Biblical Interpretation at Auburn Theological Seminary in New York City).
it looks like it affirms LGBT people to me? is anyone else interpreting this as making being gay “wrong, sinful and deviant”? just curious…
I wrote James about the new LGBTQ social network, Friends of B.R.Y.C.E. (Bringing Reality You Can Embrace) that was started to bring resources like his group or the UCC or MCC, etc. to a central cohesive location on the Internet to help all of the some 600 million LGBTQ brothers and sisters around the world. It can be found at https://friendsofbryce.ning.com. It will be interesting to see if the aforementioned groups will actually join.
It has been my experience the organizations like UCC and the MCC will talk the talk, but they do not walk the walk. Many of their members do, but not the organizations themselves. It doesn’t take a a great deal of courage or fortitude to stand with hundreds or thousands of others on one day a year for gay pride day. It does however take courage and conviction to do as James has and step out on his own into the community to begin an ongoing group to help and then stand before media attention to express that. As was stated above, less then 1% of churches are gay friendly and only a very small fraction of that actually step out on their own to protest and/or challenge inappropriate treatment of the LBGTQ people in the communities of America, much less the world. So sad.
THIS GUY IS SUCH A FAKE! Google him….he’ll do anything to get his name and picture out there. Research how many times this boy has been in the Voice. One minute he’s with Heartland church and they’re ‘forcing’ him to go on TBN. The next minute he’s an oppressed Catholic. Before his parents made him go to ‘straight school’. He’s a media whore, i think he has good intentions but having met and interact with him personally i keep him at arms length because he’s a notorious liar. Trust me I’m a big supporter of the gay community and i respect everything trying to be done but I guarantee he’ll be back in the voice 3 months from now
Please if you have any questions about anything or if you are like Smith and have something that you wouldlike to say… .Let me know. I would love to recieve any e-mails. I am williing to help people get connected and love you if you can’t love yourself. I am James and if you have heard me speak at any number of conventions you will know my true story and where I come from and understand why I was on TBN declaring not being gay and then in the voice (no need to google) 3 times. twice talking about the exgay movement and once refrering to this new group that I have started. As to the accusation of being a media whore…. I am nothing more than a man trying to fix the wrongs that I publicly did, and trying to help others from making that same mistake.
My e-mail is jmstabile88@gmail.com and you can find me on facebook by searching for James Stabile (united States Army) PLEASE contact me with any comments questions or concerns. Thank you!!!!
why the hell do things things exist is what some people think
theres only1 reason
its because what this society published who like men are supposed to be tough and girls are supposed to be whimpy and helpless and emotional and when they say its “wrong” for a man to love a man is bad and goes against “god” is stuipid and that then causes homo-phoebes and theat leads to people thinking they are “wrong” for who they like and its sometimes they arent attracted to them mentally but physicaly and idk pepole who say gays are wrong are iggnorant close minded ass holes…
or ones in the closet
republicans are stuipid jsfgjsvnjskbgvhlfbvdsgvnasg;jfdhh;fga :p