‘Miami Social,’ Bravo’s new reality series, makes Dallas look deep
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| GIRL-BOY, BOY-BOY: Maria, left, and Michael, right, are two of the three queer regulars on ‘Miami Social,’ Bravo’s newest dip in the shallow pool of reality TV. |
Everyone knows that Logo isn’t really the gay cable network; Bravo is. (Even Showtime, with its "no limits" mantra, can’t claim the title since it canceled "Queer as Folk" and "The L Word.") From "The Fashion Show" (almost all queens) to "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List" (who always refers to "my gays") to countless others, Bravo is as out-and-proud as a rainbow flag on a Subaru in June. Ga-ay!
No surprise, then, that "Miami Social," the network’s newest reality series — they are all reality series nowadays, aren’t they? — has not one, not two, but three queer regulars. And that’s out of the seven men and women who make up this trendy network of social butterflies, flitting around South Beach, obsessing over designer labels and how hot their latest love is. Three of seven? It’s enough to drive a statistician to drink.
Granted, this is Miami, a kind of Castro on the Caribbean where being young (well, youngish — that’s what Botox is for), attractive and shallow are merit badges, as good as fake IDs with watermarks for those looking for entrée into the hip social scene. But this being reality TV (emphasis on the TV), the set-ups are, umm, set-ups. Are they actually all friends? Do they really say the things they say? Or is it all for show?
A trainer who does his workouts on the beach? Two best friends who go for one of their regular spa days … at a spa where neither has ever been before? Puh-leez.
Shows like this rise and fall on two things: No. 1: How convincingly the meta-actors portray the characters they project themselves to be in the situations foisted upon them; No. 2: How much we like to spend time with them regardless of the answer to No. 1.
Props to the producers for providing plenty of eye-candy for us to soak up like Florida sunshine. One of the regulars, Ariel, is a fashion producer who specializes in getting hunky models and muscle-boy waiters to serve his events. ("I’m not straight, but I don’t consider myself gay," he lisps before ogling the underwear-clad men auditioning for one of his events. "Call them models… well don’t call the guys; I’ve got that part," he leers.)
Another gay, celebrity journalist Michael (who’s "gay but not a queen" — right), is a hottie in his own right who doesn’t hesitate to strip down within the first 20 minutes of episode 1 to show off his abs. Gotta love a guy like that. Even the straight guys are camera-ready. (Photographer Maria is bisexual but so far no girl-on-girl romances for her.)
The profound superficiality of these people ("I want a guy that’s hot inside and out — I really wanna meet someone like me!" Michael humbly proclaims) makes my teeth ache a little. But it’s still too early in the series to tell whether they might eventually grow on me. It could happen; gay guys on TV have a tendency to deepen when you scratch beneath the surface.
For now, it’s enough to enjoy the beefcake and let your brain emulsify. It is summer, after all. A little warm-weather flirtation never hurt anyone.
Grade: B-
Premieres on Bravo on July 14 at 9 p.m.
Weight, weight! don’t tell me
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The swapped-souls plot has been flogged to death for decades — so often, in fact, that in "Drop Dead Diva," the new Lifetime series, one character doesn’t hesitate to bring up "Freaky Friday" by name. The hook this time out is that Deb, a vapid beauty, is transplanted into the body of zaftig but brainy lawyer Jane (Brooke Elliott): Call it "Legally Brunette." Deb’s savvy confidence melds with Jane’s schlubby smarts for a powerful one-two punch, even as Jane’s assistant (Margaret Cho) has no idea about the switch.
Much of the comic grist comes from how Jane is outwardly different from her inner self. As someone who has worked his ass off (literally) over the past year, I don’t see why the new Jane doesn’t just hit the gym to get her rockin’ bod back, except that it makes more sense as a political statement (women should be happy in their own bodies! Fight the fit-model oppression!) than as a plot point to keep her plump.
The predictability factor runs high (smarmy office rival, Deb’s equally vacuous best friend) and the jokes aren’t as densely-packed (or as clever) as they could be. But Elliott (pictured left, with Cho) makes for a likeable heroine: bitchy and bright, substance and style. The show panders, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t effective.
Grade: C+
Premieres on Lifetime on July 12 at 8 p.m.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 10, 2009.
I know personally some of the people on this show and I am also on Miami Social..This is a true life style we live. We do yoga on the beach, relax at the standard spa during the day, and party like rock stars at night. This show is an opportunity to show people how we live.