Babs to replace Faye? And Rannells will show off his angry inch on B’way
You know something that’s changed since I started writing this column a million years ago? Gay men having children. I never even think of acknowledging the gay fathers out there — with the exception of people like Robert De Niro, Sr., Michael Jackson, and anyone married to Arianna Huffington. But now, gays are having kids all over the place. And you know how you can tell something is popular? When Hallmark makes a card to celebrate it.
This year, the venerable greeting card manufacturer came out with a line of gay Father’s Day eCards. Well, it’s not so much a “line” as it is a single eCard, but it’s a start. The eCard features a girl celebrating her two dads — one Caucasian, one somewhat ambiguously tinted. So if you’ve got two white dads or an Asian dad, or any other combination, keep on waiting!
One of our most notable gay dads is Neil Patrick Harris, and certainly his performance on the Tony Awards got some tongues wagging — aside from Jonathan Groff and David Burtka’s, of course. Although Hedwig and the Angry Inch has been doing boffo business at the box office, the exposure (and four wins) at the Tonys created even more of a demand for tickets. This would normally be music to the ears of the producers, but not in this case. You see, NPH was only contracted through Aug. 17, and he has no intention of extending — you can only stretch one inch so far. By the time he leaves, he’ll have been with the show a scant four months — how positively Hollywood of him. In his wake, the lovely Andrew Rannells, pictured, will don the Hedwig drag, which begs the question: Are people dying to see Hedwig or Neil Patrick Harris in heels? If they take a chance, they’ll surely be in for a treat — Rannells wowed ’em when he played the role in Austin way back in 2001. If you can’t get to NYC, you can check him out on BillyMasters.com.
Large penis stories are always gobbled up by my readers, so why not share another one with you? Back when Ben Flajnik was The Bachelor, he chose as his fiancée a vicious vixen named Courtney Robertson. Of course, they broke up, as Bachelor couples are wont to do. But that didn’t stop Court from writing a book (a miraculous feat since I find it hard to believe she’s ever read a book). I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain just came out, and one of her anecdotes is about a tryst with Entourage star Adrian Grenier. She recounts meeting him at a party and hooking up with him due to “mutual loneliness in L.A.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used that line. She claims they never had sex because she didn’t feel a spark. Perhaps, but she certainly felt something. “He had the biggest penis I’d ever seen — and the biggest bush!” she writes. Hmmm.
Hold onto your hat (does anyone still wear a hat?)! It’s time for another installment of Fayewatch! Oh, Miss Dunaway, we’ve missed you.And yet, it sounds like her absence won’t be ending anytime soon. Remember the long-awaited movie version of Master Class that Faye was going to make? After shooting about half the film, the production shut down due to some issues with the moneymen. It’s been inactive for a couple of years, and that’s a problem. You see, Faye owned the rights to the play for a certain period of time. Since that period has lapsed, the rights have reverted back to playwright Terrence McNally. Of course, Faye could buy the rights again, but she hasn’t got the money to finish the film.
I’m told one of the many people approached to jump in is someone who knows a thing or two about rights reverting to the author: Barbra Streisand. The pitch was for Babs to fund the project so that Faye could finish it. Upon further investigation, it was learned that the stuff already filmed is unusable, so they’d have to start the project from scratch. And that led to a brilliant idea: What if Streisand bought the rights and made the film herself? A call went out to two of Babs’ good friends — Dustin Hoffman and Al Pacino. Would either of them be interested in playing Onassis opposite her Maria Callas? I can only imagine the voice messages Faye will leave Barbra when she hears about this!
Our Ask Billy question this week comes from Travis in Dallas: “Hey Billy. Glad to have you back in Dallas Voice. I heard from a friend that a gay porn star is on a new reality show. Can you find out who it is?”
Reality television and porn are strange bedfellows these days. That’s because there are about a zillion reality shows. And since most computers have webcams, everyone in the world is a potential porn star.
The most recent addition to the reality/gay porn alum is Jesse Blum on the new E! series Escape Club (he previously appeared on MTV’s Parental Control). Apparently, Jesse built up quite a following during his time on Fratmen.com under the moniker Damon. And it seems that his porn career wasn’t limited to just one site — he also made videos for Flirt 4 Free and a site that I simply must check out — Gay Hoopla! His E! bio describes the 28-year-old as “a nursing assistant who is tired of cleaning bedpans, working 80 hours a week and taking care of sick people. He is now known more as a webcam model than a health care provider.” That may be the official line, but people who knew him in Vegas say he primarily supported himself by doing sessions as a personal trainer, among other “things.” In a refreshing turn of events, he’s not shy about discussing this part of his life. He recently posted the following on Twitter: “Yes, I have been nude and done all of that online. Not ashamed but want the world to know I’m more then just a cam model.” Perhaps, but I know my fans are far more interested in his past than his present. And we’re happy to present it to you on BillyMasters.com.
When Streisand is considering a musical remake of Mommie Dearest, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. I hope all of my readers who are dads had a lovely Father’s Day. And I hope the rest of you find a daddy of your own. While you’re cruising online, do check out BillyMasters.com, the site that isn’t ashamed of anything. Should you have a question for me, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I finish plucking glitter out of my teeth!
Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.
To contact Billy, email to Billy@BillyMasters.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 20, 2014.