I was unable to post these last night, perhaps due to all the traffic on Instant Tea related to the Rainbow Lounge incident in Fort Worth. I’ll have a full report on the Million Gay March in this week’s Voice, but for now I’ll just note that thousands of people braved the scorching heat Sunday to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion, in what will go down as one of the largest LGBT equality demonstrations Dallas has ever seen, outside of gay Pride. More photos after the jump.
I attended this, but I have to admit, with some hesitation. While I believe in equality for all people, I find it rather disingenuous of the GLBT community to demand equality from straight people, when we have yet to achieve equality in our own community.
Why do straight people discriminate against us? Simply because they do not value us; they do not value us as citizens, as soldiers, as teachers, as mentors, as firemen, as politicians, as parents, as coworkers, and as neighbors—because they can’t see beyond our sexuality. The buck stops there. Fundamentally, I think that sums it up.
And yet for all our talk about constitutional rights, which are indeed valid arguments, inequality manifests itself, and sustains itself, in our behavior—in how we treat other people. Having been out of the closet for more than half my life, I can attest that how we treat one another as GBLT people is far from equitable. We don’t value one another in the same way that bigots don’t value us.
I’m not talking just about who we chose to socialize with. (It is just human to socialize with those who share our values and interests.) I’m talking about the value we assign to our GLBT brothers and sisters as individuals, especially those who may not meet those unattainable standards of perfection, popularity, or general coolness. Who can deny that we continue to discriminate against (devalue) one another based on race, age, popularity, income, fashion sense, or the mother of all criteria: physical attractiveness?
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve observed a sincere, but perhaps overweight or poorly dressed guy, approach other men at a bar or social event in order to talk, only to be patronized or simply shut out from the group. Given the time and space, I could give many more examples, I’m sure, though I doubt anyone here really needs me to.
With great disappointment, I have also observed (first hand) that the behavior of many of the leaders of our local activist and political organizations often fail to meet their own standards of tolerance, acceptance, and equal treatment for all persons. They criticize the efforts taken by other groups, dismiss the contributions of others within their own group, and often fall short of seeing value in their own members.
We love to band together, wave our flags, raise our voices, and shake our fists in the air, but at the end of the day, we still talk behind one another’s back, point fingers, and shun those who don’t meet our—often arbitrary—standards of acceptability.
If they gay community really wants to see equality in the US, perhaps we should lead by example: stop worrying so much how others treat us, and concentrate more on how we treat one another. Maybe then we can show them how it’s done.
John Wright, what are you doing?
You’ve lied twice now, and it’s inexcusable.
Tell the truth about numbers. By exaggerating or outright fabricating the attendance numbers of protests, marches, and rallies, you rob the movement, the organizers, and your own publication of any integrity. At the Day of Decision March, the Voice and the March’s organizers proudly published a turn-out of “hundreds.” I laughed when I read that. I was there John, and I counted. There weren’t more than 75 there. Hell, you wouldn’t even be able to fit “hundreds” of people on that traffic island if you tried.
But this… Thousands? Who do you think you’re kidding? Do you think so little of your readers that they would look at these pictures and believe there were thousands of people at this march? Again, I was there. There were 300 people. Maybe. If this is the way you report facts, why should we trust what your paper says about anything? Why should anyone looking at the equality movement consider it anything more than a self-important joke?
Don’t you understand how important equal rights for homosexuals are? Don’t you understand how your misrepresentations hurt that cause? Don’t you understand that there are secondary sources, and that your “facts” will be exposed for fantasies?
Maybe people aren’t showing up because they don’t think demanding our rights is an effective strategy. Report on that. Don’t just pretend that everything is exactly how you want it to be.
*Very* well said Verity. Your observations are exactly why some have sworn no further community involvement as well.
Looking forward to your report John.
“I’m talking about the value we assign to our GLBT brothers and sisters as individuals, especially those who may not meet those unattainable standards of perfection, popularity, or general coolness. Who can deny that we continue to discriminate against (devalue) one another based on race, age, popularity, income, fashion sense, or the mother of all criteria: physical attractiveness?”
That’s not been my experience among Dallas lesbians, at least not in the circle I run in. We have generally welcomed most everyone with open arms. That having been said, all those things you mention — all the ways and reasons people are shunned from one group or another — make us exactly like the straight people. Not a good thing, just an observation.
Andrew….
I don’t know what your trip is. I think you are missing the point of the story. You obviously have some vendetta against Blake, The Dallas Voice and maybe the gay community in general. Every comment you make is about the coverage and not the event. The raid in Fort Worth was wrong on so many levels. If 20 people saw it or 20 thousand, it doesn’t matter.
This is a pretty clear cut case of red neck homophobia.
Start your own blog, newspaper, tv show, gay rights group or become an official people counter, but sitting on the sidelines bitching and moaning and groaning seem a bit trite.
As an older gay man, 50 last December, I can tell you that I totally agree with Verity Manumit on this. The very first time I ever set foot in a gay bar was 1978 and was an active duty sailor, with a top secret security clearance at stake, at the time. I was scared silly; scared of the career implications if the Navy found out, scared of the legal problems if the place was “raided”, scared of the social implications if my friends or family knew, and just generally scared of what I would find in a “gay bar”.
What I found was a group of “cliques” more socially stratified than the Indian “caste” system. I was young and good-looking; so, I “fit in” rather quickly but was always disgusted by this inequity among members of our culture. Now I am not talking about the obvious self imposed separation of scenes [like leather, levi, etc.] but the shunning of those not “known”, not “good-looking”, or not “fashionable”, enough to “be all that”. Being a bit “bohemian” by nature I have had some of the best conversations of my life with the “outcasts” of our subculture and the non-fashionable straight & “curious” clientele invariably present in a “gay bar”. Is it any wonder that we have one of the highest suicide rates of any subculture?
People (scared out of their senses from all sorts of fears, some justified some not) finally build up enough courage to try and escape the hell of everyday sleights and injustices come someplace looking for “acceptance” and “openness” only to be hit with more prejudice than they experience in everyday life. Through the years I have known people “scared straight” from their experiences; why become involved in the “gay culture” when they can be shunned or scared in the straight world? The uncool, uncouth, unpopular, unfashionable, or “different” often leave and decide to “live a lie” rather than go through that trauma again. We are all faced daily with sneers and short tones just because someone, for whatever reason, felt it okay to treat us less than human. Yet we go out to the clubs and snub each other and back bite and treat each other in ways that would make any other species kill us as rogues–separate from the pack or detrimental to the groups common good. Would you really want to look in the mirror and see just how you really appear to others? complete with all your spitefulness and insecurities covered with venom laced honey? Or what if you awakened one morning to find yourself looking exactly like that kid you snubbed with the “god-awful hair and bad teeth” that you acted so badly towards? How “proud” would you be for the entire world to know that you made fun of the kid you were approached by the other day? maybe he just needed an ear to listen for a minute to make him feel he was worthy of being. If someone trying to come to grips with their own doubts, fears, and sexuality can’t come to our community, after we have all suffered the same snubs, fears, and doubts from our straight communities, then we have no reason, or right, to exist as institutions or businesses.
Just the way I feel about it all. Love yourselves and take care of yourselves BUT do the same to all those around you; BOTH the beautiful and the not so beautiful make up our culture and inclusion and variety make a culture thrive not elitist BS.
Dallas Voice LYING about Protest Attendance (Again)
Thousands of people John Wright? Another out-wright lie. You lied about the protest following the CA Supreme Court ruling, also. There were 71 people, not “hundreds.”
I went to Cedar Springs yesterday, mostly out of curiosity and observed the event. I stood at the corner of Knight Street as the crowd began its march. With a friend we counted about 275 people – certainly not more than 300. At Lee Park I asked a police officer how many he thought were there and he said “around 300, maybe a little more.”
John Wright and the Dallas Voice have reported “thousands.” It is an indefensible LIE. Aside from John’s relationship with Blake Wilkinson (QueerLiberaction – a new gay rights charity), I cannot think of any reason to mislead the community. This behavior can only harm any legitimate effort to obtain equal rights and respect for the gay community.
The DALLAS VOICE owes the community an explanation and an apology. Failure to do so will wipe out whatever remaining credibility the newspaper has.
John Wright and the Dallas Voice are lying to their readers.
Verity said: “Who can deny that we continue to discriminate against (devalue) one another based on race, age, popularity, income, fashion sense, or the mother of all criteria: physical attractiveness?”
You confuse the issue of “attractiveness.” Maybe some people are a little shallow, but I don’t think applies to the issue of obesity. Fat is Unhealthy. Unhealthy is unattractive. If we care about each other we do not accept unhealthy behavior – from unsafe sex to cigarette smoking. Obesity is unhealthy behavior. It is a choice for 99% of the people (less than 1% has a genetic problem).
We should encourage each other to be healthy and fit. Fit IS attractive. Blaming the result of laziness – FAT, on discrimination doesn’t help anyone.
Go exercise and eat well.
According to the Dallas PD, they estimated 1200 participants at yesterday’s march. Is that credible enough for you Chance?
On the Observer’s Unfair Park Blog:
“Police estimated the march drew 700 people, according to Rick Vanderslice, who helped emcee the event. ”
According to Rick Vanderslice. There were about 300 people. The Police NEVER said 700 – Rick Vanderslice (QueerLiberaction and one of the organizers) said that. Another lie.
We don’t ask for Integrity. We demand it.
Please tell the truth about these little protests.
Matthew Haag at the Dallas Morning News is telling the truth:
For gays and lesbians, Oak Lawn march is about more than just pride
07:14 AM CDT on Monday, June 29, 2009
“People in the fast-moving and brightly colored parade chanted, “Silent no more” and “Our rights are human rights” as the several hundred revelers snaked toward Lee Park in Oak Lawn.”
SEVERAL HUNDRED – That would be three or four hundred. Lying does not help anyone’s cause.
VERITY;; I AGREE WITH U WHOLE HEARTEDLY…. WE HAVE TO LEARN TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER, NO MATTER THE APPEARANCE, SOCIAL STATUS, ECONOMIC STATUS BEFORE WE CAN CRY ABOUT INEQUALITY VIA THE GOVT OR LACK OF GOVT SUPPORT FOR OUR COMMUNITY. SMH AT THE WAY WE JUDGE EACH OTHER
Regarding the number of people attending the march on Sunday, if John Wright got it wrong I’m confident it was just a mistake. It’s illogical to think that he would “lie” abut it. What would be the point? I don’t know how many people were there because I wasn’t at the march. But I do know that estimating the number of people in a march or at a rally is really quite difficult. It always seems like there are more people than there really are. As a reporter who covered the annual Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade for a long, long time, I’ve heard estimates of it vary by the tens of thousands every year, depending on whom I was asking. Law enforcement officers who were on hand told me that they were just guessing when they gave me an estimate. When I worked in the Lower Rio Grande Valley all of the different reporters who covered events would get together and reach a consensus about what attendance numbers to report when they went to press and on the air. Early on in my reporting career I got into a habit of attempting to always do some kind of a head count, unless the size of the crowd (such as the one that descends on the annual Pride parade) made it impossible.
Andrew said: “You confuse the issue of “attractiveness.†Maybe some people are a little shallow, but I don’t think applies to the issue of obesity. Fat is Unhealthy. Unhealthy is unattractive. If we care about each other we do not accept unhealthy behavior – from unsafe sex to cigarette smoking. Obesity is unhealthy behavior. It is a choice for 99% of the people (less than 1% has a genetic problem).”
Andrew, in a way you are proving my point, I think. Some people do find obesity to be attractive, but I am not one of them. But why should my opinions of attractiveness dictate my opinions of value? I do not find obesity attractive, therefore that person should not be entitled to equal, dignified, and valued treatment. That is certainly how many people think, for one reason or another. It is one thing if the person acts like an obnoxious jerk, but it is another thing if we just dismiss that person’s worth based on visual first impressions.
Also, I think obesity has something to do with behavior, but no exclusively. There are many things (addictions) in this world that get the better of us, myself included, like alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, and sex. Addictive behavior is not always a good thing, but it is something we usually have trouble controlling. I have addictions myself that I struggle with, so it is not just an issue of unhealthy behavior and lazyness.
“If we care about each other we do not accept unhealthy behavior…” I think that if we care about one another we shouldn’t be so judgmental and dismissive of people until they have proven themselves worthy or unworthy.
ANDREW YOU’RE AN ASS..HANDS DOWN! THAT’S THE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR 2009.. ANDREW IS AN ASS
VERITY I AGREE WITH YOU… WE FIND SO MANY REASONS TO EXCLUDE OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS BASED ON IMMATURE, IDIOTIC OBSERVATIONS. TRUTH BE TOLD WE ALL HAVE FLAWS.. KEEP IN MIND GOD JUDGES THE HEART SO MAKE SURE YOUR ACTIONS AND WORDS ARE NOTHING SHY OF WHAT U WOULD DO TO, DO FOR, OR SAY TO GOD HIM/HERSELF.
Jack E. Jett and David Webb:
You wish to rationalize LYING by the DALLAS VOICE and JOHN WRIGHT? Really?
It is NOT a mistake to say “thousands of people” when several of us counted LESS THAN THREE HUNDRED.
The important question here is WHAT ELSE ARE THEY LYING ABOUT and WHEN DID LYING BY JOURNALISTS BECOMING ACCEPTABLE?
These little protests are not helpful or, as the Voice would like its readers to believe, successful.
These two responses by so-called “journalists” trying to justify blatant lying are just PATHETIC.
ummm…I am one of the organizers for the march/rally and I personally talked to Laura Martin, our DPD LBGT liason, after the rally. She said 1200. That’s all I”m gonna say.
OMG. What did everyone put in their Wheaties this morning? For gawds sake!
First, John Wright, in my experience, has always been very fair. Honestly, after seeing the attacks on Wright from Blake last year, does not bring me to the conclusion today that he is inflating numbers in cahoots with Blake or any other organizer.
Second, attendance. Consulting with organizers and/or DPD, I am sure Wright is reporting what he was given. Out of curiousity, why is complaining about attendance numbers the highlight of this post? What about sharing experiences from those who were there of the atmosphere? Damn, just give those who braved the heat to stand up and recognize the anniversary their day. (I would not count you in that if you attended just to count as people passed you by).
Whether or not there was inflation of numbers, the fact that these posts are viewed not just within our community, but externally as well really show our opponents how petty we are. Would you really attend an event just to count people walk by? My question to you is why did you not participate? Petty, serioulsy petty.
The damn pettiness and undermining of what we are trying to accomplish, within our own camp, is down right disgusting. No wonder we are still fighting for equality…. we can’t stop fighting each other, instead of focusing on winning our rights.
Enough is enough… for gawd’s sake!
**sorry for another post**
@ armetisius – Very well said. There is a social inequity based on looks or social status and that is something that must end. Physical looks are sometimes predetermined by genes, and some have not won the lottery but does that really make them less important, smart or relavant than those with looks/status? Absolutely positively not!
Remember, there’s always someone more attractive or richer/status than yourself… so somewhere the judgment you are dishing is being returned to you, whether or not you accept that fact.
Bring the conversations up people. Focus on the important things in life. Yesterday was an important day in our history, a day of reflection and none of that is coming through in this conversation. (**goes to see if Chance & Andrew have posted any outrage about the police raid in Ft Worth** )
Chance and Andrew
You are not being attacked. Stop playing the victim. You know and we all know that you have nothing to contribute to the conversation. This issue is far too important to be sidetracked by those who prefer to talk about fat and numbers and just petty bullshit. You are obvious so insecure that you will not even give your full name yet are happy to bash everyone else. Let me see your bio and I will compare your facts to John Wrights at that time.
I would suggest we just let these two (or one) battle out the numbers game. We have work to do to try and get to the bottom of this and make certain it doesn’t happen again.
Really? All right, here goes.
Tisha – no, that’s not credible enough for me. What, the police talked to you, just you? Even better that you’re an organizer, someone with a vested interest in this march appearing to be a success. We counted. The Dallas Morning News counted. I mean, come on. 1200 isn’t even vaguely reasonable.
Jack – What was the point of the story? The story was about how the protest went. The story suggests it was successful. If the article was honest, then it would actually be a story about how not very many people showed up. Instead, it’s become a story about the Dallas Voice’s fabrications. Which leads me to…
David – Why would the Voice have any reason to make up a vague, inflated number like “thousands?” Are you serious? The Voice has been trumpeting this march and all of the angry “demanding our rights” protests over the last few months. The Voice has told its readers that this is something they should be doing. If the Voice has to admit that its readers didn’t show up… well then what does that say about their credibility? And no, I don’t buy for a second that it was a “mistake.” There is absolutely no reason to estimate “thousands,” which is meaningless, when the crowd was small enough to actually count.
So maybe, just maybe, instead of patting each other on the back and saying “hey we did such a good thing today, don’t we feel so good,” we could be honest. We could say, only a few hundred people showed up.
Apparently, gay and gay-friendly people in Dallas don’t want to march through the gaybourhood waving signs and demanding our rights. Apparently they don’t think that’s effective. Otherwise they would have showed up. So maybe, just maybe, we should change our tactics. But maybe I’m crazy, maybe 300 angry, sweaty people are all we need to change the world.
E – You think that the protests yesterday actually did anything to stop or fix the hatred towards the gay community? You think those marches are the most important thing we could be doing?
Look, everybody. We could argue the philosophy of the equal rights movement, or we can argue math. The former could be helpful. The latter is useless. Because there are photographs. The Dallas Morning News has a video of the march. Count the people for yourself. If John Wright isn’t lying, he is remarkably incompetent. Either way, why he is editor?
Criticism, whether it is justified or not, unfortunately goes with the territory of being a journalist. But it often comes from people who hide behind anonymity or the use of first names only.
So, I tell the TRUTH and I get attacked. Amazing.
We don’t need “estimates” of the number of people at the March – some of us counted the people. John Wright could have counted. He suggest 3,000 people, when there were 300 people. This isn’t a mistake. It is a willful, premeditated attempt to suggest that the March was successful – IT WAS NOT. It was, in fact, pathetic.
The whole idea of “angry protests” and “demanding rights” needs to be discussed in an open and honest environment. In the old days this meant the gay-media. The Dallas Voice has lost all credibility by allowing the intentionally misleading reporting of John Wright. If they have any balls they’ll do something about it.
I am also (painfully) honest about obesity. In fact, I think it is more accurately described as FAT. Doctors, healthcare administrators and even our new president have described obesity as “preventable” and “unhealthy.” I happen to believe that “unhealthy” is also unattractive. Instead of apologizing for laziness and obesity we should encourage healthy behavior.
Google it – obesity is now the number one “preventable” health problem. It’s worse than smoking. Fat has become the new “average.” It cost a lot in health care dollars and YES, it is unattractive. Sometimes the truth hurts – but, lying would just make it worse.
Get fit.
To David Webb:
It’s math. Honest to goodness MATH. Not criticism. I have been critical of LYING, though. I guess you’re okay with lying? Jack E. Jett is. The Dallas Voice is.
Who would like to confirm they are okay with lying? This is a beautiful picture of gay-journalism in Dallas.
Jack-
I’m adult enough to realize that this isn’t about me. It isn’t about any individual or “heroic community organizer.” The issue here is what we’re doing to achieve equal rights. That’s what’s important. And when the people we trust to give us our information on that effort… well… don’t… they’re betraying the cause. If we are to achieve ANYTHING, or get to the bottom of ANYTHING, than we have to be honest. With ourselves and with each other.
Either protests and marches are going to get us our rights, or they are not. And it looks like they’re not. But the Voice, and QL, and people who have made it their job to convince us that protests and marches will get us our rights, well they’re telling us it’s working. The people who have a financial interest in angry protests want us think they work. But they don’t. So what are we supposed to do? Just keep marching and protesting because we’re told that it’s working? That’s not getting to the bottom of anything, Jack.
You want a conversation about what we can do, but then you say it doesn’t matter that they’re lying about what’s been done. What kind of a conversation is that? Let’s be honest, and maybe we’ll get some results.
According to you, it’s OK that John is telling us he saw thousands of people who weren’t there. Remind me how an inflated protest makes bigots (in or out of the FWPD) stop hating us? Remind me how unjustified self-congratulations help change the religious doctrines that make us wrong? Remind me how “demanding our rights” (with what authority?) keeps a gay guy from getting beat up?
I want that conversation, but I won’t have it unless it’s honest.
“Chance” and “Andrew” I will be happy to have a sit down with you, name the time and place. As an organizer of this event I value any input that may help us have a better event in the future. I wish I had known of your interest before we really got deep into planning, this might have been 10 times better, so sorry for not including you 🙁
Open Invitation:
Freedom of Speech Night
Tuesday, June 30th
8:00pm to 9:30pm
Buzzbrews Kitchen @ 4334 Lemmon Avenue
Come out and express yourself (5 minutes of uncensored time), in public, and you just might win the chance to express yourself on the radio (Jack E. Jett Show).
Andrew,
You imply by your statement “we”, err “DMN”, counted. Are you with DMN? Is this a superiorty quest?
Knowing the history of Dallas’ last decade of protest history, and that for the most part it has been dormant for quite a while, I, myself, would focus the conversation on the fact that **anybody** showed up and that some of the events are gathering more attendance.
Personally I would have emailed or called John Wright to discuss the attendance and presented what information you have. This would have allowed you to obtain possibly his source of information or maybe allowed him to make a correction if there needed to be one.
Certainly I would not have undermined the momentum of the growing attendance of people who are coming out for the first time and learning how to protest, then reading comments such as yours on the story they may have thought was the best of their life– and a day that gained yet another voice.
Your comments about people’s looks is absolutely disgusting. While yes, no one is going to argue with you about the health risks of obesity, most (who do not share your narcassistic view) will say that making a judgment or excluding someone based on appearance might be a larger sign of a personal inadequacy on your part. Just saying.
test
I find it interesting that the people complaining about the coverage and march were watching and not participating. Whatever the number of marchers, it should have been +2. We needed every GLBTQA person out there instead of on the sidelines. It is very easy to criticize something. It is harder to do something. So when are ya’ll going to the next organizing meeting?
Less than 300 people at the March.
Fat IS Unhealthy. Unhealthy IS unattractive.
It’s not nice to LIE.
Keep sniping girls & boys!!! THis is turning into Dallitude at it’s best!!!!
I ATTENDED THE RALLY.. THE OVERALL NUMBER DOES NOT MATTER B/C BE IT 3, 300, OR 3000.. WE WERE THE ONES THAT CAME OUT. 2 THOSE THAT STATED THEY STOOD ON THE SIDE LINES AND COUNTED…WTF?? HAD U PARTICIPATED IT WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST THAT MANY MORE PEOPLE TO YELL AND FIGHT FOR THE CAUSE. WHY COME OUT JUST TO BE CRITICAL OF THOSE MAKING AN EFFORT TO BRING CHANGE. THE VIBE WAS CHARGED AND THE UNITY AMONG MARCHERS WAS SOLIDIFIED AND CEMENTED WITH LOVE! I ENJOYED.MY PARTNER AND I AGREED WE WOULD HAVE MARCHED HAD IT ONLY BEEN US 2. HOW MANY SHOWED IS NOT IMPORTANT..WHAT’S IMPORTANT IS THAT ANYBODY SHOWED!! IIT WAS SO HOT YOU COULD FEEL THE HEAT OF THE PAVEMENT THRU UR SHOES…DID NOT MATTER 2 ANY OF US. WE MARCHED AND HANDED OUT WATER TO EACH OTHER AND FANNED THOSE THAT FELL BY THE WAYSIDE, BUT WE MADE IT AS A UNIFIED GROUP. CONGRATS, JOB WELL DONE TO US!!
Andrew & Chance….if you don’t support the movement, then don’t participate. Your attacks on those that did participate and report on it are so ridiculous. You obviously don’t support our movement but are faithful to show up to undercount the numbers and then debate the numbers on-line…why?
Andrew’s attack on obesity…hmmmm….Andrew, get back on your meds. If you are not on meds…you need to be….seriously. Just saying. Re-read your FULL day of blogging and how crazed you come across to people that happen upon this blog. You need help.
Hello Gang, I think that Verity Manumit did a fine job of painting a clear photo of us all. We’re always so worried about not being excepted by the hetero world.. But when we’re out dating do we have to worry about getting our gay partner pregnant? Do we have to worry about contraception accidents that can result in the delivery of a new and unwanted life in this world? Nope.. no responsibility there.. Can you say “more convenient” ?
Instead we find the “potential” hookup by asking questions about their job, material wealth, intelligence, and sex organ size. Why? because after we “bust a nut” they can just zip up and leave with no commitment.. Even if you find a committed person there’s nothing to say that they won’t be messing with others behind your back and looking for something better once their sexual excitement is been satisfied.
As for the Cedar Springs clubs and bars.. If you’re not cute and boinkable.. then you’ll find yourself standing there feeling oh so invisible.. If you try to walk over, say hi and introduce yourself, you usually get nothing more than a “hello” back, see them sip their drink and then walk away without even sharing their name in return. So much for southern hospitality and I dare many of you to say anything different.
Here in 2009 there’s no longer weenie roasts on a weekend grill to help the patrons metabolize some of the booze they’ve consumed and engage in more conversatiuon even though propane gas is cheap and you can get a package of Hot Dogs at Kroger for less than a buck.. What’s with that? (Ummm now that smoking is banned, dontcha think bar owners can think of this?)
Gay community? Huh??? Community of expensive bingo tickets, community of double-priced bottle of beer, loud music you scream over, and the feeling of invisibility or “not measuring up”…
No, I don’t *ever* want to measure up.. I want to celebrate my unique abilities and revel on my artistic talents and respect the unique character of others in return.
I don’t give a crap what religion you are, or how much you own, or what *fabulous* wig you chose to wear with your costume or how many piercings you have in your penis. What I do care is to know whether you live in a glass house of insecurity and how many stones you’ll go out of your way to throw at others when you should be throwing them as yourself.
I don’t have to kiss anyone’s butt cuz they have a PHD and my friends don’t.. Why? Because the friends are hard working, they earn a living, and this bitchy person doesn’t even have a job. And this is supposed to make these community members *superior* ?
Ten years ago, Oaklawn was “the happiest place on earth” with friendly folk who were all interested in friendship and growth. It seems that this has changed into selfishness, distrust, non-commital behavior. Less of us show up at funerals, or even commitment ceremonies but when it comes to legal or political freedom we’re the first to cry for change.
When a ship is sinking the rats are the first ones to leave… Misery loves company… In any group, the poop always floats to the top!
Lately, it seems we have a “community center” with little community.. We have activities and involvement festivites that require money that unemployment checks can no longer justify.
We continue to judge others, like the leather queens, the drag queens, the pagan witches, the nelly men, and the butch women instead of embracing and learning from one another with open arms and the true meaning of the word compassion.
Yet we proclaim to the world that many of us are good christians while church members are investigated for money fraud and choose not to perform last-rites on dieing gay members who made huge contributions in the past?
I was under the understanding that everything in life has a good and a bad balance.. It would seem that laziness, backstabbing, judgment, and ridicule has more meaning in this town than love and compassion. So, now I ask, why should I waste my time getting involved in this foolish behavior? There is no legacy left for the 21 year olds of tomorrow..
The GayBorHood has vaporized and replaced with capitalism and greed. Gay property owners have flipped their homes with great profit, packed up, and moved on to new rural beginnings. Newcommers arrive in search of an economic deal vs. huge prices paid in their prior living place and can care less whether it used to be predominantly gay. It’s new, it’s cheaper than NYC or CA so what!
Now, remind me again what exactally am I marching for? Freedom?
Freedom to marry? Freedom to pay more taxes? Freedom to give higher pay to divorce lawyers? Freedom to pass more judgement? Freedom to ignore the XBOX, Nintendo, anti-social gay kids of tomorrow who can’t write a sentence without abbreviated characters like BFF, TTYL, LMAO ??
Nahhhh, at 47 I think I’ll make another cup of coffee, watch my DVR recorded episode of Queer as Folk and surf the ORGAZMATRON HOOKUP site for 10 minutes of casual relief from a nameless same-sex individual in his virtual closet of raging hormones.
I can do without the Traumatic Brain Injury from police, or the parking costs, or the feeling of isolated emptiness standing in a large group of people with deafening silence.
Yeah, right here in the “Happiest Place On Earth”?
To date, it would seem that ChinaTown and Little Italy are alive and well.. but the *GayBorHoods* of the Nation are becoming a thing of the past.
Ta Ta … Buh Bye….
I don’t understand what shallow people’s rejection of less physically attractive people has to do with this at all. The straight community is just as shallow as the gay community… it’s an unfortunate part of human nature. Queer LiberAction welcomes all people of all levels of physical attractiveness to all of our events, If anyone ever discriminates against you based on your physical appearance or body size at a QL event please let me know and I will deal with them severely. Everyone is welcomed.
That being said… there is no excuse for not doing everything we can to demand our full civil rights. Until we are considered equal citizens by our govt how can we ever expect to be treated as equal citizens by our fellow Americans?
Elizabeth, there is no cause and effect there.
“Until we are considered equal citizens by our govt how can we ever expect to be treated as equal citizens by our fellow Americans?”
No. If the government says “OK, stop marching, you can have your rights, shhhhh,” we’ve been tolerated. But we’re still “wrong,” “sinners,” and “unnatural.” Roe v. Wade guaranteed rights, but it hasn’t stopped the harassment outside of clinics and the murder of doctors. It hasn’t done a thing to stop the shame.
The bullies in the locker room won’t stop shaming the gay teen just because Congress eventually passed ENDA.
@ Elizabeth Pax. In my original post I was not talking about QL, per se, but more in general terms of how we (the gay communtiy) treat one another. Discrimination and inequality exists for us because the majority does not see any inherent value in us, the minority, because of who and what we are. My point is that these same human faults exist right here in the GBLT community as well, and we basically do nothing to address them.
As I said, we choose criteria, such as physical attractiveness or a person’s annual income, as a basis of assigning them value, of determining if their contributions are worth listening to, if their feelings are worth consideration, and if we want their company. That criteria usually has nothing really to do with a person’s value, just as a person’s sexuality has nothing to do with their value as a human.
I’m not suggesting that we should all get warm and fuzzy and have a giant group hug. People will be rejected and accepted in life, and often based on legitimate criteria, such as honesty, reliability, and sincerity. However, good looks and a fat wallet does necessarily imply honesty, reliabitliy, or sincerity, though we often act AS IF THEY DO.
I have seen good, hard-working, and enthusiastic people marginalized in the community and in these organizations apparently for no other reason because they weren’t cool enough, handsom enough, or popular enough. Why should that be?
@Andrew: I agree with you that obesity is unhealthy (this is common knowledge), and to me, as equally unattractive. But it seems to me that you are assigning value to a person, and his or her contributions, based on attractiveness/healthfulness. Again, there are many reasons why a person may struggle with their weight, including genetics and prescription medications, for example, which often lead to weight gain or loss. What I am suggesting is that a person’s attractiveness should not be the yardstick by which we measure the value of their contributions in our community. But it seems to me that you do. Additionally, I find many physically fit and muscular men to be as equally unattractive. Just because a man has a six pack doesn’t mean that he is de facto attractive, especially, IMO, if he THINKS a six pack makes him attractive.
Also, I strongly disagree with you that the march was a failure or not useful. I don’t personally know Erin Moore or Daniel Cates, but organizing an event like this is a lot of hard work, and a thankless job. All they can do is try to get people to attend, but they cannot ultimately control who does or does not show up. Also, there is no way to judge with a definitive answer whether or not something like this was successful or productive. It just isn’t that easy. It’s not like saying the car runs or it doesn’t run; it’s not an either/or dilemma. The fact that it happened though is kind of a success itself. True, whether it was 300 or 3000, those numbers only reflect a small portion of the total GLBT community in Dallas. More people could have shown up, but there are many reasons why they might not have done so, including work, travel, illness, the heat, being unaware, etc., and the protest organizers have not control over those things, so please don’t criticize them as though they do.
You certainly seem to want everything to be in black and white, but I don’t believe life is that way.
@Rick Wagner. Hmm…your name sounds familiar to me. I think your experiences here are pretty common. One thing that I really dislike about the gay community is that it seems to me that any effort to be friendly and open with someone is always perceived as being a “come on”, when often it is not. I think that that is the biggest hindrance for me in socializing with gay men, even on social networking sites. If you just try to talk, learn about someone, and be friendly, you either end up getting a cold sholder because they don’t find you attractive, or you end up fighting them off with a stick because they do find you attractive, even if your intent was, as I said, just to be friendly and social. I like sex as much as the next person, but why does it always have to be at the forefront of our social dialogue? Can’t I just get to know someone, or let someone get to know me, without being concerned about how much they do or don’t want to sleep with me?
@Chance. No, the bullies will not stop harrassing the gay teen if Congress passes the ENDA, but they won’t stop if ENDA fails either. I’m not sure that I understand what point you are trying to make. It seems to me you you are suggesting that until everything can be worked out to be 100% okay, then nothing matters. If that is correct, then I disagree. We must take what we can get, and keep working for more. Even though their are high school bullies, more US schools have gay/straight alliance clubs now more than ever. Isn’t that worth something?
@Chance
i am NOT saying that the instant that legislation is passed to give us our full civil rights -BAM- we will be welcomed into general society as beloved friends and homophobia will end. i am saying that until we end legalized govt discrimination we can not even BEGIN to EXPECT that our fellow citizens will respect us as equals and that fact can not go unnoticed by out fellow Americans. Once we attain full legal equality it will make it much easier to gain social equality.
@verity
i still don’t understand why the social discrimination based on physical attractiveness and economic clas should stop us from all fighting for our civil rights. Like I said, classism and “attractiv-ism” exist in all social groups. It is something we, as human beings, should work on but not a barrier to achieving full legal and civil equality.
NAME: LATISHA NICHOLE MCDANIEL
AGE: 31
RACE: AFRICAN AMERICAN
SEX: FEMALE
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: BISEXUAL
EQUALITY STATUS: FEDERAL CIVIL RIGHTS OF PERSONS OF COLOR SINCE 1964.
RESPECT STATUS: STILL WAITING
Just to let you know that LBGT’s are not the only minorities waiting to receive full respect and acceptance in this country. SO, GET IN LINE WITH THE REST OF US!!!
Chance
Sounds good. Hop to it. Get ‘er done and get ‘er done well.
Let me know if you need my help. I am all for the new generation of activist. We old fat ones have done the best we could and faced a huge mountain called HIV.
As we age and become less able to get down in the trenches, it is up to younger generation to do it the way they think is best.
The ultimate goal needs to be clarified – full equal rights on the federal level, yes. But even after that, gay teens will be committing suicide because they have been made to feel ashamed, and I don’t think we can dismiss that so flippantly as saying “Get in line.”
The goal should be to eliminate the shame – if there’s no shame, there’s no inequality. So… tactics.
Millions of dollars and countless hours of GLBT effort are spent every year on three main approaches: Political/lobbying, legal/judicial, and protest/demand. All of these address the rights of gays. None of them address how GLBT are “wrong.”
Instead, we should be channeling our resources into an effort that actually tackles the core problem – we as a society allow ourselves to shut off our rational minds and accept that a collection of books from thousands of years ago are telling us the true nature of the universe and morality and the rules by which we should live our lives. We must redefine religion, or the shame will continue. Our politicians are guided by religion. Their constituents are guided by religion. Religion, the only thing that makes gay wrong, is what has oppressed us. Religion has driven those gay teens to suicide. That’s the challenge we have to face – redefine religion to achieve TRUE equality.
@Elizabeth Pax.
I am not suggesting that we should stop, and didn’t intend to imply that. I’m only suggesting that it would behoove us to work on our own tendencies toward discrimination and devaluing one another if we are to criticize straight people for the same actions. Is it reasonable to ask them to meet some kind of standard that we can’t meet ourselves? Again, discrimination is about choosing irrelevant criteria on which to value or not value people. My gayness has no bearing on my value as a citizen or a human being, so it should not be used to determine my rights, privileges, access to services, etc.
@ Chance:
You said: “if there’s no shame, there’s no inequality.” I don’t think that is entirely true. Sure, the shaming of people for being GLBT is wrong, but not so tied to inequality that you can’t have one without the other. Though it does contribute to the belief in inequality.
I agree with you about the religion bit. Religion is the problem. Never yet met an atheist who was against gay rights, or had problems with me being gay. If they did, they never said a damn thing about it, which is fine.