Youth First Texas Collin County provides a much-needed oasis for LGBT youth
OUT IN ALLEN | Members of Youth First Texas Collin County gather for the group’s monthly dinner night at On The Border in Allen last weekend. Shown, from left, are Avery and Antimo, who asked that their last names be withheld, along with Nick Hansen, Bradi Pirtle, Michael Vest and Clint Hooper. (Anna Waugh/Dallas Voice)
ALLEN — At first glance, Nick Hansen looks like any 16-year-old boy: sharp, witty and worried about how cool his hair looks.
But just a few months ago, Hansen was dreading coming out as transgender to his parents, finally admitting he’d been bullied at school and seeing how they’d respond.
Hansen told his parents in November that he was trans. Much to his surprise, his religious parents welcomed the news.
“The first thing they did was get me a haircut so I didn’t have long hair anymore,” Hansen says, laughing. The same day, his parents also bought several books on trans issues so they could better understand what it meant. “They said, ‘We understand this is you and we’re not going to change that.’”
His parents transferred him from school in Little Elm to Allen so he could escape the two years of bullying that began when Hansen started going by a male name and wearing more masculine clothing.
NOT ALONE | After coming out to his Vietnamese parents who didn’t know how to handle the news, Christian Luu found a place where he could talk about it at YFTCC. (Anna Waugh/Dallas Voice)
After starting school at Allen, a friend invited him to Youth First Texas Collin County and he started attending the group’s weekly meetings in December.
Since then, he said the group has helped him be more comfortable with who he is now that he is finally living as male.
YFT volunteer Jeanne Rubin said the Collin County group has been around for about eight years, compared to the Dallas group that started in 1999, and was created out of the Collin County Gay and Lesbian Alliance’s work.
Rubin said there are many teens like Hansen who have conservative, religious parents who are supportive when they come out to them, even in conservative Collin County.
“People are conservative in some ways but not in others,” she said, adding that the parents of minorities have a harder time learning that their kids are LGBT.
Dominic, 19, who didn’t want to use his last name because he’s not out to all of his family, said he used to tell his parents he was going somewhere else when he was attending YFT because he knew they wouldn’t like him going. Now, he said, the relationship is one of mutual agreement to not talk about his sexuality.
“I know they don’t like it, but they respect me and don’t complain about it,” he said.
Dominic attended the Dallas YFT group when he was 17. But the group was much larger than the handful of teens who attend YFTCC, and he said it was overwhelming trying to fit in with so many people. So, he stayed in Collin County and took refuge in the intimate group instead.
Rubin said the group ranges from eight to 10 junior high and high school-aged kids at meetings and special events. A few years ago, they had as many as 30 in attendance, but the group has had to move meeting places several times over the years, making it hard to keep its members.
“We’ve had to move so many times, and every time that happens, we lose kids,” Rubin said.
YFTCC currently meets at North Texas Youth Connection’s Allen center and has met there for more than two years, the longest home the group’s had. Before that, Rubin said they were in Plano for a while until the rent went up and they had to leave.
“If we had a place that we knew we could call home forever, that’d be great,” she said.
But even with all the migrating around the county, youth have remained active in YFTCC because of the valuable experiences it’s brought to their lives.
Christian Luu, 19, has been attending YFTCC since 2011. After coming out at 16 to his Vietnamese parents who didn’t know how to handle the news, he sought an understanding group that he could talk about it with. Luu said YFT has made him a better person and helped him grow into who he is today.
“I think I’ve grown as a person and really matured at Youth First,” he said.
Part of the attraction for youth to YFTCC is the need for acceptance while growing up in the conservative cities that make up the county. Rubin said there are only four Gay-Straight Alliances that she knows of in the county with one in Frisco and Allen and two in Plano for youth to seek out as a resource.
YFT volunteer Michael Vest has been working with the organization for about a year. Growing up in a religious family where he was home-schooled, he said he likes providing an outlet to youth that he didn’t have growing up.
“It’s really safe for them to be who they are, even for only two hours once a week,” Vest said.
Volunteer Michael Wren has been involved with the organization for about 18 months. He said he likes seeing what acceptance does for so many of them who simply need a place where they can be themselves.
“Some of the youth that come to us might or might not be out, but here they can be whoever they are, free and openly without judgment,” Wren said. “It’s exciting getting to be a positive influence in what can be a negative world.”
Justin Nichols remembers just how negative the Collin County world can be. Raised in Plano, Nichols went on to work as a teen court coordinator for the county and ran for Plano City Council as an out candidate in 2008. His candidacy brought up his sexual orientation at work, and he was later forced to resign from his position for being gay.
Nichols said he couldn’t discuss the controversy that led to him resigning because of a confidentiality agreement he signed during the settlement. But he said he’s seen the city and the county change since he was a teen.
“I think Collin County is growing and the idea that it’s a small-time, small-minded area really isn’t the case anymore,” he said. “As Collin County grows, so does the LGBT community.”
Nichols came out in high school at 16 with mixed responses. He said he had supportive teachers, as well as some who threw a Bible down on his desk.
“There were always people who were supportive,” he said.
He said during the time he worked for the county he spoke to YFT a few times. He said it’s an organization that is still needed in the conservative county to continue to educate and encourage youth.
“The reality is Collin County is still relatively conservative,” he said. “There’s certainly a need for YFT.”
Bradi Pirtle’s mom recognized her daughter would need YFT when they moved to North Texas from Chicago in July. Pirtle, 17, said her mom researched groups she could attend for LGBT youth since she left a group behind.
While Pirtle misses how liberal and accepting Chicago is compared to the conservative attitudes in Texas that seem dominant at times, she said YFT has helped her make the transition easier.
“I really like it and feel like it provides a sense of community that otherwise wouldn’t exist,” she said.
That community has certainly helped Hansen, who said his life has entirely changed for the better since moving to Allen and joining YFT.
Hansen said the bullying at his previous school in Little Elm varied from being pushed around to verbal abuse. But he was worried about coming out to his parents and asking for help.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. I tried to tough it out,” he said. “After I asked for help, it got a million times better.”
He said he’s braved discussing hormone replacement therapy with his parents, and they scheduled an appointment to discuss it with a doctor. And while there will be more discussions and maybe even battles up ahead, the thought of going on hormones is enough for Hansen.
“I’m excited because even the possibility of being on hormones is great,” he said.
Youth First Texas Collin County meets Sundays from 6-7:30 p.m. at North Texas Youth Connection, 201 W. Boyd Drive #105D, Allen. For more information, go to YouthFirstTexas.org.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition March 8, 2013,