Legendary comedian Joan Rivers doesn’t care about being politically correct — only funny
FEATHER BOA CONSTRICTOR | Joan Rivers, who recently performed a same-sex marriage in New York, doesn’t care who she pisses off … but she loves her gays.
ARNOLD WAYNE JONES | Life+Style Editor
Joan Rivers was gay before gay was trendy.
Well, not gay herself — though we wouldn’t put anything by her. But the shocking comedian was courting gay audiences — and developing a gay sensibility — probably as long back as Stonewall.
She even came up through the ranks at the same time as Lily Tomlin, whom she still adores.
“We both worked together before we were discovered — Lily and I go back forever together. I thought she was the funniest girl then; she did a thing about going to a funeral and making the corpse talk” like a puppet, she says, and laughs.
“Make sure you put this in the article: Every gay man in Dallas had better show up to my show on Sunday,” she cautions from her home in New York. “That’s what makes a good show — six gay men in the front row.”
Rivers doesn’t just talk the talk, either. It’s not just because we get her humor, though — it’s because she gets us, too.
“I love gays. Love gays. I’m still Queen of the Gays — I have the crown on my head even when I’m in bed,” Rivers says. “If two people can get along with each other, you’re already ahead of me, but don’t say I didn’t warn you [about same-sex marriage leading to same-sex divorce].”
Maybe, but that didn’t stop her from getting ordained online as an a minister/rabbi so that she could perform a legally binding marriage ceremony in New York — between a same-sex couple who are friends.
“It was on Valentine’s Day at the top of the Empire State Building — isn’t that romantic?” she says. “And in honor of Sleepless in Seattle, the bridal favors were a piece of Meg Ryan’s original face.”
It’s lines like that that have kept Rivers — at 79 — one of the busiest performers in America.
Career ups-and-downs (from her Tonight Show debacle to the suicide of her husband) bridled but did not halt the indefatigable jokester. She’s a queen of informercials, the scary master of the red carpet and reigning maven on the E! hit show Fashion Police, the subject of the acclaimed documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, a Broadway vet and Tony Award nominee, even Donald Trump’s one-time Celebrity Apprentice.
“Your forgot Joan and Melissa Saturday nights on WE and In Bed with Joan, which is a huge hit on the Internet,” she corrects, chuckling.
The point is: Joan Rivers has remade herself over and over … almost as often as her own face.
And yet, with a schedule hectic even for a person half her age, Rivers still finds time to do what made her a legend: Tour with her standup act, which arrives at the Winspear this weekend. And she has no plans to slow down.
“Why? What would I do? I don’t look forward to retirement — retirement is death. One of the lucky ones who loves what I do,” she says, repeating a mantra that has kept her going for nearly 50 years.
“Young standup comedians mention me in the business. The joy of being out there and reaching a different audience? There is nothing else like it. It’s like greeting old friends. I’ve played to 7,000 … 8,000 people and it’s all the same. I work from the front row out.”
Rivers has time now to tour, since her high holy days — awards season — ended with the Oscars last month. She finally has a break from red carpet snark. So what did she walk about with this season? How boring it all ways.
“Melissa and I were the first to go live from the red carpet, back when they dressed themselves. As it got more popular, they all have stylists now. They all look wonderful, they all look very thin. But luckily there’s always someone to make a fool of herself,” she says.
This season, some of that was directed toward co-host Kelly Osbourne, who took criticism for calling nominee Quvenzhane Wallis merely “Q.”
“Let’s get real here!” Rivers shouts. “They came down on Kelly cuz she called her Q? She has told people just to call her Q! How about getting a name you can pronounce? P.C. has reached the point of insanity. If you think you’ll see P.C. in my show Sunday, don’t fucking come!” Rivers pauses for a second. “Think you hit a raw nerve here?”
Rivers has always pushed the envelope (“I want to give people the best hour and a half show, but three percent should walk out furious,” she admits), though the one person who never reflects on the Big Picture about what that means is … Joan Rivers.
“I enjoyed working with [the filmmakers who made Piece of Work], but who knows who we are and who cares? I don’t dwell on who I am. The SAG Award, where the nominees say ‘I’m an act-or!’ Snore. You’re a former pizza waitress who got a good part.
The only people who cares about who I am are the people I owe money to. They look at me and say, ‘I wonder if she’ll be around to pay us back.’”
So far, Joan, so good.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition March 8, 2013.