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Dame Edna’s appendectomy postpones Texas visit. But she had plenty of “‘agony advice’ for Dallas
Dame Edna Everage, pictured, was supposed to perform an “intimate” five-night gig at Bass Hall in January. But in late December, the 73-year-old comic had her appendix removed, and her doctor ordered six months of bed rest no joke!
The performance has been re-scheduled for Feb. 3-8 in 2009. I spoke with Everage right before Christmas (before she went under the knife), and Vanity Fair’s former “agony advice” columnist had plenty of pearls of wisdom for North Texans.
When Larry Hagman was on your talkshow, he tipped his cowboy hat to you. As he lifted the brim, a pile of cash fell out, so you had him violently ejected. Larry is a close friend, but he was not giving Texas a good name. He was being ostentatious and I’m not spelling that word as in A-U-S-T-I-N.
How can Dallasites can tone down their flashy-cash ways to an acceptable level? You can’t help yourselves in Dallas, can you? You’ve got all those shops. It’s the birthplace of Neiman Marcus. And it is a pretty nice shop. But the Dallas women wear Escada to the supermarket, so you probably need a little bit of grit and grain down there. Otherwise it’s far too polished and gleaming, isn’t it?
Does your daughter Valma and her same-sex partner live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area? She does. Unfortunately, Valma is dysfunctional. I’ve had to use a lot of tough love on her I’ve had to release her.
Will Valma have any announcements? Might you become a proud granny like Lynn Cheney? Well, Valma has been trying to adopt. But frankly, the authorities consider her unsuitable. Isn’t that terrible?
Speaking of the Cheneys When George and Laura leave the White House, the plan on moving to Dallas. Really?
What advice do you have for gays of North Texas to welcome them. Will everyone move out? No, I guess they won’t. And why should you? Once the Bushes get out of politics, they will probably become very nice.
Did you know that he’s planning to have his presidential library here? His library? How many books does he have three?
Daniel A. Kusner
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This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition February 1, 2008