The other day I received a handwritten letter on church stationery (shown above) from Senior Pastor Ronald Scates of Highland Park Presbyterian Church. Scates apparently decided to write the letter after I called him “homophobic” on this blog last week. Scates’ letter came inside an envelope that also contained a copy of a newsletter from an “ex-gay” group, Regeneration Ministries of Baltimore, Md. In case you’re interested, I found a copy of the same newsletter online here. Since his handwriting is barely legible, I’ve transcribed Scates’ note below. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how to respond to him if at all, so I was hoping you’d help by posting your suggestions in the comments. Also, here’s a link to Scates’ bio on the church’s Web site.
John,
I am not “afraid of the same” (that is what “homophobic” literally means), nor afraid of folks who have same-sex attraction. I only want God’s best for them. I have been taken into the world of homosexual sex (and heterosexual sex outside of marriage) and have witnessed the self-destructiveness that is rampant whenever we use our bodies contrary to the way God has made us. I hope you will be open-minded enough to read the enclosed. If I didn’t think you were a valuable person, if I was truly bigoted, hateful, I didn’t care about you … I wouldn’t bother to write.
There is a way out … a way back toward the center of God’s will … both for you and for me (because we’re both in the same sinful boat). I’ve witnessed that firsthand as well.
Don’t give up on God’s best for your life. I promise you that I wont either.
In Christ,
Ronald Scates
I cannot understand why Pastor Scates is so passionately concerned about the condition of our mortal souls. Frankly, I wish he would stop killing us with kindness. I have studied the same Bible and have found it to be a model of liberation, not a tool of terror. He says he only wants “God’s best” for us. Who is he to determine what is “God’s best” for our lives? Is it “God’s best” for people like him to look the other way when we are victims of hate crimes? Is it “God’s best” for people like him to deny us the protections and benefits of marriage? Is it “God’s best” for people like him to silence and marginalize us, to ridicule and shame us? Don’t be fooled. Regardless of his stated motivations, Pastor Scates is not our friend. He cannot deny us our basic human rights and expect us to consider that he has our best interests — or even “God’s best” interests — at heart.
I am confounded by the fact that so many denominations that purport to represent Christ are willing to sacrifice on their altars the bodies and souls of their gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, while all around us weeps the God who requires only justice and mercy as acceptable sacrifices. There is neither justice nor mercy in Pastor Scates’ self-righteous remarks.
who would bring Mr. Scates into the world of homo-sex? Have you seen his grill? Not cute, okay?
More like Pastor Scarey..
That’s the sweetest piece of shit I’ve ever heard.
I fully believe that the Pastor is attempting to reach out in love to you. This is in direct response to your calling him a homophobe, which likely caused him some embarrassment. No one wants to be a hateful, bigoted jerk who is scared of “the homos”. However, his mission to somehow convince you that there is “help” out there for the “condition” of homosexuality and that you can be “relieved” of what he clearly views as a burden is just absolutely disgusting, rude, disrespectful and horrifying. He clearly has not taken the time to meet with a member of the GLBT population who is not still self-loathing while in the process of attempting to align their faith with their life. Until I let go of the struggle over one half of my soul against the other, I too was self-destructive in the sense that I was preventing myself from true happiness and a clear understanding of God’s unending and unconditional love for me. As a lesbian and a Christian, I feel that anyone who would ask someone to change the way that God made them is acting against God’s will. Maybe you should ask him how he feels about defying God’s plan for your life.
Just for the record…. I dont think any gay person with more than two brain cells would consider someone like this “pastor” a friend (I put pastor in quotes, because I don’t consider anyone who spews this sort of crap to be truly a man of god in any way). I think most of us understand at this point how well these folks manage to speak out of both sides of their mouths. Claiming to “love” us, but not for who we are, no no, they “love” us for who they wish we could become.
(rolling eyes)…
He says, “I only want God’s best for them.” So, Ronald, where did you get this amazing piece of information?
Did God come down from the skies and speak to you? Did he videotape you a clip and post it on YouTube? Huh? What? Ooooooh, I gotcha. You read it in a book and it was so vague that you decided to interpret it as such and now judging everyone for it. Gotcha. Not homophobic at all. (sarcasm)
I would love to know how you were taken into “the world of homosexual sex.” I’m all ears.
My mother is a sweet little Southern Baptist woman,so was her mother. My mother is very liberal and has been very suppotive of me since I came out at 18. She is, however, very concerned that I’m probably going to wind up in hell. Not because I’m gay, but because I haven’t accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I recently told her that when I was 12 and suicidal, I asked Jesus to save me every way I could think of. I promised to give up my Barbies, but it just didn’t work. I told my mom if she is right,I am toast. But I have to believe that she and the Bible are wrong or I have no chance at living a happy life at all. And that’s the way it is. I have had a very happy life. I’m 47 now and mom and I get along great, but there is always that tension.
The response to Pastor Scates is simply allowing him the horror of waking each day to the headlines revealing a world increasingly accepting of gays. The pastor has chosen to make himself miserable based on his need for gay people to become heterosexual… a truly unattainable goal. I choose not to make myself equally unhappy with the goal of needing all straight people to accept me. All I need are equal employment and marriage rights. This is the direction in which the world is moving. Pastor Scates serves a congregation that wants the world to remain unchanged and he is meeting their needs by saying what they want to hear. This is how he keeps them coming to his church and not someone else’s. It’s all the solice they’ll get, because nothing remains unchanged. Progress is inevitable.
I think your new blog posting is an appropriate response to the pastor, and I’m fairly certain that he is going to see it. I learned long ago that preachers love to see their names and pictures in print, no matter what the forum. Once, I did a story for a now defunct gay New York City magazine in which I interviewed a self-described preacher who was a member of the KKK in Florida. He asked me to send him a copy of the magazine, which I did. I later learned he had simply cut the copy and pictures of himself out of the magazine and was proudly sending it around to people he knew without revealing the source.
Yo Scates! What’s up with the literal definition? Condescend much? So you claim you “aren’t afraid of the same” – How about the gays? Afraid of them? (Homophobe – general use definition)
John – it’s really sad that Ron Scates indeed seems afraid of gays. And if we read between the lines, he may even have some reason. I don’t know him and haven’t walked in his shoes, but depending on when he was “taken into the world of homosex…” by whom, at what age and under what circumstance – and what all that really means (because he is being intentionally cryptic) he may have some deep-seated fears that prevent him from being able to fully accept ALL people as Jesus instructs him he should – as equal and as valued children of God.
It’s sad too that he is considered a senior leader of a body of people who by their very own definition, are sinners – or damaged people – living as lost “sheep” in a world where they are taught they are to endure but never truly “belong” – AND that they look to this fearful man for leadership and guidance.
Sad also that, while Ron probably sees his note to you as a noble gesture of assistance, (for that is what he is trained to do and by-golly – everyone expects a level of perfection from him and the stress from that alone must be daunting!) he will probably not be able to see – in any of these responses – all of the hands extended back in his direction, with notes saying – “Ron – don’t be afraid! There is another way! It’s called LOVE. Jesus talked about it all the time. And guess what – it’s available to you too!”
For some reason, I don’t think Ron will be able to see or hear that message.
It’s sad.
This is one of those situations where someone says I don’t want to seem bigoted but….. Which generally means they are going to be just that. What I have to ask Scates is why as a member of clergy in a church were you having sex with men or out of wedlock. If you can’t live up to the standards you preach then you have zero credibility. Furthermore I grow tired of all these churches thinking they have the right to impose their morals upon everyone else. I grew up Baptist and the brainwashing I recieved as a child has taken a long time to undo. Churches spread hate and ignorance has they have from the beginning. So much advancement has been lost because of religious zealotry. Giant tomes of scientific information have been lost or burned because it didn’t fit the ideals of the big 3- Christianity,Islam,Judaism.I could go on but it would be hard to stop. The crusade to stop glbtq marriages must be met with intelligence,confidence, and an iron will that says you will not break me down, you will not villify or demonize me.