Dan Savage’s new memoir slash advice book pushes all the right hot-buttons
SAVAGE LOVE | The co-founder of the It Gets Better Project opines about right-wing homophobes, closet cases and the church in his ‘hell, yeah!’ new book.
American Savage by Dan Savage
(Dutton 2013); $26.95; 301 pp
You’ve got this sticky issue, a little problem, a thing you need help with but you aren’t sure you can trust anybody.
Your sister is a big-mouth, your mom won’t understand, and your BFF, well … no. You need some independent advice —straight-up, no bull, all honest.
And in American Savage, the new memoir-advice book by Dan Savage, that’s exactly what you get.
As a young boy growing up in Chicago, Dan Savage was steeped in Catholicism. His cop father was an ordained permanent diaconate; his mother was a lay minister.
Savage himself was an altar boy for a while, but when he realized he was gay — and that the Church had a few things to say about it (none positive) — he left the fold. Still, he says: “I was never abused by a priest. I was saved by one.”
That priest came out to Savage’s mother on his behalf, to calm her fears for her son. And though the Church “got sex wrong,” and though he’s an “agnosthatheist,” Savage says he aches for the loss of religious comfort.
But that’s not all he has on his mind in this book.
As the creator of Savage Love, his syndicated sex-and-relationship column, Savage is fierce about making sure his readers get sensible advice. He opines that cheating, for instance, isn’t OK except when it is. He advocates being “monogamish,” and being willing to at least try something before condemning it as “too kinky.”
Speaking of condemning, Savage takes on politicians, especially those on the right, the conservative, the Christian; in particular, he quotes evidence to dispute the anti-gay bigotry that often comes from that side of politics. As a married “different kind of fag” and the father of a teen who “came out … a few years ago — as straight,” Savage has a stake in quashing that kind of hate.
Savage also writes about adoption, Halloween (the straight people’s version of Pride parades), basic civil rights and respecting older gay men. As co-founder with his partner Terry of the It Gets Better Project, he goes to bat for LGBT teens. He also writes about a certain politician’s “Google problem” and he offers a challenge to those who believe being gay is a choice.
Want a book that’s going to make you say, “Heck, yes!” just about every third page? Yep, that pretty well describes American Savage.
It’ll be hard to remain seated while you’re reading, in fact, because Savage makes you want to stand and applaud at his common-sense words. Savage rants — but he’s hilarious while he’s doing so, which will make you want to phone friends so you can share. He’s profound and profane, thoughtful and thought-provoking, and his personal stories will bring tears to your eyes.
— Terri Schlichenmeyer
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 7, 2013.