We won, Paul
It’s a shame that Paul Varnell (That Amendment Again! June 9) cannot celebrate a huge victory for our community and a huge defeat for far-right extremists who have a stranglehold on the Republican leadership of the Senate and House.
The Human Rights Campaign worked with a broad coalition that delivered a big success. Be happy Paul, we won, and we won big.
-David M. Smith
Vice President of Programs
Human Rights Campaign
Marriage-go-round
Britney Spears married a high school friend in Las Vegas and it was annulled before the ink on the marriage certificate could dry. Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney got married and before the gossip columnist could move on to another “hot topic” they announced the marriage was annulled due to fraudulent circumstances. I’m talking about marriage.
Doesn’t marriage mean a commitment for life? So now shouldn’t we approach our state Legislature and Congress and have marriage further defined as something you don’t take lightly?
I’m reviewing the married couples that I have known throughout the years.
I’ve known several. Been to their weddings, went to the showers and blew bubbles at them as they happily walked out of the church. Hmm, let me see. Wow, I only know of two couples that are still together. The rest have split up, broken up, cheated on each other and eventually divorced. I wonder if they were confused about the “sanctity” of marriage?
One friend who’s 40 is on her fourth marriage. Yes, fourth! Last year at this time she married her “soulmate.” Actually, she left her boyfriend of a year after meeting her soulmate and immediately got married because they were so in love. Forward four months and it’s February. They have been split up for a couple of months and are in the process of getting a divorce.
Do you think they never realized how sacred marriage was? I mean do you think they took it lightly because the government didn”t clearly state the rules? I looked at my friend as she explained the marriage thing to me. I listened patiently to her banter and held my tongue as she laughed it off.
Then it was my turn to laugh. I told her she had not a clue what “Till death do us part” meant. I advised her to shack up in the future and give the sanctity of marriage a rest!
So here I am a lesbian. I have never had that piece of paper telling me my bond with my mate is sacred and protected by law. That right is not granted to me and my future spouse. Yet I value marriage highly and would never take it for granted. I wake up in the morning and wonder if I’m in a car accident and injured and they put me on life support will my spouse have the right to make life or death decisions about me? Will she receive all my material possessions? Will family members try to take away what was ours because legally she has no claim on what we’ve built in the years we are together?
And here is this woman sitting next to me flippantly taking “marriage” for granted because she was born straight?
I’m sure all of you reading this (including my family) are bringing out their NIV and King James Bibles ready to pounce on my “blaspheming” ways. But all I am asking is that they look at the big picture from a new perspective. If a man and woman have the right to a marriage blessed by God, they should earn it. They should respect the sanctity of marriage and make their first one the real thing. No trial runs or fourth or fifth times. If you don’t have it right by the second time, you forfeit the right to sign any marriage certificate ever again! I don’t think that is unfair.
If you have the right to judge me and stand on your soapbox then you should be held accountable to a “marriage” standard. So stop pointing fingers and rushing to judgments. Practice what you preach. If you view marriage as so sacred then don’t make a mockery of it!
-Andrea R. Simon
Grand Prairie
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This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition, June 16, 2006.