The Rev. Bill McElvaney to stop treatment for his cancer and begin palliative care
Longtime Dallas activist and volunteer Chet Flake has died.
Flake is predeceased by his partner Bud Knight. Together, they won Black Tie Dinner’s Kuchling Award in 2011. The award was posthumous for Knight, who died in November 2010.
The couple was together for 45 years. They married in Vancouver in 2005.
Flake volunteered at Resource Center since 2003.
“We miss him already,” Resource Center CEO Cece Cox said. “Chet volunteered here at the front desk at the community center and at Nelson Tebedo. He was on the front lines. So many people who came to the community center and clinic interacted with him. He made them feel comforted and welcome and encouraged the staff and other volunteers.”
He was a longtime Turtle Creek Chorale volunteer, life member and board chair for several years.
“Chet and his husband, Bud Knight, were there at the beginning and over the next 30-plus years never wavered in their support for ‘their guys’,” said Chorale board chair David Hess. “Chet served many years on the board, and chaired it several times. Any of us who have made one of the Chorale concerts in the Meyerson, will remember Bud and Chet watching from their long time seats in Box J. Both Bud and Chet are among the few non-singers to be honored with life membership in the Chorale, an honor they both cherished.”
The couple volunteered throughout the community.
They participated in Oak Lawn Community Center’s Buddy Project during the height of the AIDS crisis, volunteered at AIDS Interfaith Network and were members of St. Thomas the Apostle Episcopal Church. Flake and Knight raised thousands of dollars for LifeWalk, where they billed themselves as the “oldest walkers.”
Flake was a teacher and later a school administrator in Southern California. He became a consultant in math and science for Xerox Corp. and Ginn Publishing Company.
Memorial service will be held at St. Thomas Episcopal Church on Aug. 16 at 10 a.m.
McElvaney to begin palliative care
The Rev. Bill McElvaney is the retired pastor of Northaven United Methodist Church who did quite a bit to welcome the LGBT community to the church when some of the other Methodist churches in the area weren’t as welcoming.
Earlier this year, he announced he would perform same-sex weddings despite the Methodist Church’s ban. In March, he married Jack Evans and George Harris, who have been together 53 years. McElvaney was suspended later that month pending an investigation, although the case was always unlikely to go to trial.
At the time of the wedding, McElvaney was being treated for liver cancer. Although he sat while performing the ceremony, he walked down the aisle with the couple and his voice was strong throughout the ceremony.
This week, he sent a message to members of Northaven that his cancer has spread and he will forego any further treatment.
Bill McElvaney’s Message to Northaven:
During the past three years of my chemo and radiation treatments, your prayers and various forms of encouragement have meant more than I can express in words and continue to do so.
Dr. Yull Arriaga, our oncologist, has been consistently honest and compassionate, informing us at our very first meeting in 2011 that my type of cancer was treatable but not curable.
The latest scan, one of many over the three years, reversed the mostly positive previous results and revealed additional tumors in the liver, as well as the cancer having spread into the right lung. Dr. Arriaga indicated we were beyond additional treatment except for experimental drugs that would provide less than a 10 percent chance for brief benefit and would probably cause harsh side effects.
With Fran’s support, I have chosen no further treatment. Dr. Arriaga will continue as our doctor; in fact, he said he would be with us all the way. We intend to proceed with engaging palliative care through hospice.
I believe I am in God’s hands as experienced throughout 86 years of amazing grace surrounding my life in countless ways, not the least through Fran’s superb loving care. We know we will both need your continued love and support, and we look forward to notes, phone calls and visits. Please call after 10 in the morning and before 4 in the afternoon.
I encourage us all to extend loving care to all Northaven members who are in special need.
Life is good; Grace abounds.
God’s Peace,
Bill
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 8, 2014.